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AIBU?

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Original poster

To require a friend to wear a mask in house when she has a cold?

211 replies

Saboblue · 21/09/2023 13:26

I found out from another friend that she’d been slagging me off for making her wear a mask when she had a cold in my house. When she came round I simply said I’d rather not get a cold and asked her to put on the mask and opened the windows. She was very understanding and put the mask on. I thought nothing of it until I found out she was slagging me off about it when she seemed fine to put it on at the time. I’m pissed off about it because what have I said wrong? Why would I want your virus? Put a mask on when you’re ill and in someone’s house!!

OP posts:
Motomum23 · 21/09/2023 13:28

You know masks don't work right? Just ask her not to come round when she's poorly.

HungryWisdom · 21/09/2023 13:28

You’re joking, right?

ILikeItWhatIsIt · 21/09/2023 13:29

It's your house, your rules, I suppose, but it might have been better to ask her to come back when she wasn't ill, or you put the mask on. Your health isn't her responsibility after all.

Catsmere · 21/09/2023 13:29

Sounds fair to me. I had a rotten cold in June and wore a mask indoors except when I was at home. I'd prefer not to visit, or be visited by, someone with a cold, so masks are a reasonable precaution.

Hmmmbetterchangethis · 21/09/2023 13:29

You’d be better off asking people not to come over if they’re ill.

The mask won’t help if she’s touching surfaces etc.

You're within your right to ask her, but it’s very inhospitable behaviour…….

cruffinsmuffin · 21/09/2023 13:31

Your house your rules! In her place I'd do as you asked in your home, but I'd definitely think you were a bit batty in my own head and possibly joke about being made to wear a mask to you / others afterwards.

mummylove24 · 21/09/2023 13:31

But she shouldn’t have come to your house if she had a cold/flu/covid though.

LemonQuiche · 21/09/2023 13:31

Well look, it’s your house, your rules. However, it’s not something I would’ve done.

Everanewbie · 21/09/2023 13:31

Would you have done this pre-March 2020?

A lot of people will find this to be extreme hypochondria but others will say its sensible and back you.

Its your home and you are free to make your own rules, but friend is free to tell people that she thinks you're batty.

I'd say that I am skeptical of the benefits of masks, as they are designed to prevent wound contamination and protect the wearer from blood splatters, and nothing to do with respiratory viruses. So yes, YABU to insist on a mask and maybe if you were that worried, you should have met outside or not at all?

MrsMara · 21/09/2023 13:31

I don't know if I would have asked her to put a mask on but I can understand why you did.

I am someone who suffers for a good week with a cold, I turn into an utter misery and everything is impacted by them.

I know sometimes they can't be helped but I do try to avoid catching one.

Slagging you off over it though makes your friend sound like a bit of an idiot.

Blinkinbloodyhayfever · 21/09/2023 13:32

It's a cold. You sneeze for a couple of days, take an Anadin and then cough for a couple more. Do you have or care for someone with a compromised immune system?
I think its rude to visit someone in their home btw without at least telling them first you have a cold.

Paperbagsaremine · 21/09/2023 13:32

It's unusual and, unless you also handcuff her so she can't touch anything, ineffective...

Itick8outof10boxes · 21/09/2023 13:33

Tbh it does sound ott, I take it you don't mingle in public among others who may have colds, or in the workplace?

ManateeFair · 21/09/2023 13:35

You're entitled to ask her to put a mask on, but I can certainly see why she considered it to be weird behaviour on your part.

If I've got a cold and I'm meant to be going to someone's house, I generally tell them in advance and ask them if they'd prefer to reschedule, and I wouldn't be at all offended if they suggested we waited until I was better.

justasking111 · 21/09/2023 13:36

Motomum23 · 21/09/2023 13:28

You know masks don't work right? Just ask her not to come round when she's poorly.

This. Every door handle in fact everything she touches never mind the fact that masks don't work. We have an informal rule in our extended family you just stay away if you're ill. We've a vulnerable grand daughter, great grandmother so try to keep them safe

Catsmere · 21/09/2023 13:36

Blinkinbloodyhayfever · 21/09/2023 13:32

It's a cold. You sneeze for a couple of days, take an Anadin and then cough for a couple more. Do you have or care for someone with a compromised immune system?
I think its rude to visit someone in their home btw without at least telling them first you have a cold.

A couple of days? Colds last a good week or two, and post-viral coughs can hang around a month or more (I'm asthmatic and mine has persisted three months despite OTC medication).

roarrfeckingroar · 21/09/2023 13:37

Very weird thing to make someone do and I would leave if asked to do so

ThornInMySide84 · 21/09/2023 13:37

I would have agreed out of politeness but secretly have been thinking you were very strange!

Annaishere · 21/09/2023 13:38

I wear a mask if I have respiratory symptoms and need to go to someone’s house. And wear one if visiting people with colds. I don’t think you’re unreasonable I would ask the same of people

widowtwankywashroom · 21/09/2023 13:38

Sorry but I think that's weird.
If she's well enough to be up and about she doesn't need a mask

margotrose · 21/09/2023 13:40

If someone asked me to where a mask while I came over for coffee, I would honestly just turn around and go home.

I'd also probably not bother going again.

I mean, yes you can have whatever rules you like in your own home but equally your guests are free to find you bonkers.

SM4713 · 21/09/2023 13:40

I wouldn't visit anyone when sick with a cold, cough, covid or anything! This is just rude and selfish.

I would have asked her to leave, or all sit outside. I wouldn't have brought her inside my home at all! How old is she? The slagging you off shows her true colours IMO and what type of 'friend' she really is.

Goodornot · 21/09/2023 13:42

Ask her to wear a mask and then catch a cold from the supermarket, a cafe or someone else?

Weird.

I'd have very politely said to you, let's call it a day and wait until I'm better and I wouldn't have come in. Or ever come back.

Annaishere · 21/09/2023 13:53

I wouldn’t have someone in my house with a respiratory infection tbh

RollingStream · 21/09/2023 13:55

Guessing this is a research post on opinions about masks, but either way noone is using them anymore. Especially not at a friend's house.