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AIBU?

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Original poster

To require a friend to wear a mask in house when she has a cold?

211 replies

Saboblue · 21/09/2023 13:26

I found out from another friend that she’d been slagging me off for making her wear a mask when she had a cold in my house. When she came round I simply said I’d rather not get a cold and asked her to put on the mask and opened the windows. She was very understanding and put the mask on. I thought nothing of it until I found out she was slagging me off about it when she seemed fine to put it on at the time. I’m pissed off about it because what have I said wrong? Why would I want your virus? Put a mask on when you’re ill and in someone’s house!!

OP posts:
Kwasi · 22/09/2023 07:06

If the pandemic hadn’t happened, would you have thought to ask her to call in at a pharmacy en route to your house to buy a mask?

BusyBees1234 · 22/09/2023 07:09

If you're that concerned you should have asked her not to come over

boobot1 · 22/09/2023 07:19

I think your ridiculous! Covid has really screwed up peoples rational thought processes.

eastegg · 22/09/2023 07:34

Guiltridden12345 · 21/09/2023 14:18

Sorry this was mid pandemic and no masks! The oldies thought fuck it and preferred normality with risk than a meeting of masks.

Show quote history

Presumably if it was unknowingly, none of you had symptoms? That would reduce the chance of spread, so it’s a different situation. Doesn’t prove it was luck rather than mask which protected the pp.

Dymaxion · 22/09/2023 07:50

If you are immunocompromised then I would have postponed the visit until I was better, but I suppose that massively reduces the drama opportunity !

Tessisme · 22/09/2023 08:09

If you don't want to risk catching someone's cold, then cancel the meet-up.

Posters keep repeating versions of this. If the guest doesn't tell you they have something contagious, where is the choice to cancel? Do you turn them away at the door based on what shade of red their hooter is? I would like to know in advance if someone is coming to my house to cough and sneeze all over me. Just fecking tell me and I'll decide whether I want your company.

A few years ago, some family members turned up to stay at our house with what they called a cold. They had been staying elsewhere and picked it up there. The people they were staying with offered to let them remain rather than infect us, but no, they didn't wanted to spoil their holiday. So they arrived, with rucksacks, snotty nosed and coughing. A few days later DS1 was on antibiotics and a week after that DP was in hospital with pericarditis and AF, brought about by this 'cold'. So I have no qualms now about telling someone to bugger off and take their germs with them. But I'd prefer to do it by phone call or text, rather than on my doorstep. I do obviously understand that any of us can pick up germs anywhere, but it is very inconsiderate to knowingly bring them into someone's house, thereby increasing their risk.

LlynTegid · 22/09/2023 08:11

If you have a cold, maybe the best thing is to not visit? Explain why politely.

DameWhiskers · 22/09/2023 08:21

@Everanewbie

If facemasks had the same efficacy as condoms, maybe. Personally I still wouldn't wear one because 1. my immune system needs the stimulation and 2. well I hate them so much that I'd have cold or covid any day of the week.

But I realise not everyone has the same health or attitude to risk that I have. You brought condoms into it, wearing a facemask is like using a fishnet condom.

I recognise that there are different types of face masks. Some work. Enter than others. But a blanket "they don't work" is silly - masks do work. If you don't to wear one, that's fine, but stop spreading misinformation.

In particle terms, masks halt all but the tiniest of particles from getting in (or out) of the mask. Oxygen is tiny; it can move freely, but the Covid virion is stopped as it's far too large (on its own or whether it's carried within a respiratory droplet). Surgical masks are generally 95-98% effective when worn correctly in this regard.

To require a friend to wear a mask in house when she has a cold?
MariaVT65 · 22/09/2023 08:57

DameWhiskers · 22/09/2023 08:21

@Everanewbie

If facemasks had the same efficacy as condoms, maybe. Personally I still wouldn't wear one because 1. my immune system needs the stimulation and 2. well I hate them so much that I'd have cold or covid any day of the week.

But I realise not everyone has the same health or attitude to risk that I have. You brought condoms into it, wearing a facemask is like using a fishnet condom.

I recognise that there are different types of face masks. Some work. Enter than others. But a blanket "they don't work" is silly - masks do work. If you don't to wear one, that's fine, but stop spreading misinformation.

In particle terms, masks halt all but the tiniest of particles from getting in (or out) of the mask. Oxygen is tiny; it can move freely, but the Covid virion is stopped as it's far too large (on its own or whether it's carried within a respiratory droplet). Surgical masks are generally 95-98% effective when worn correctly in this regard.

A few of us in the thread have mentioned that we’ve been informed by doctors and scientists that masks don’t protect from viruses, as viruses are still too small to be shielded by a mask.

DottyLottieLou · 22/09/2023 09:21

You can't avoid a cold. Give your immune system a work out or you'll be coming down with everything going.

DottyLottieLou · 22/09/2023 09:26

I have been told the opposite by doctors. On their own viruses are too small but viruses travel in droplets which can't get through surgical masks. I'd seriously worry about doctors who don't know this.

MariaVT65 · 22/09/2023 09:32

DottyLottieLou · 22/09/2023 09:26

I have been told the opposite by doctors. On their own viruses are too small but viruses travel in droplets which can't get through surgical masks. I'd seriously worry about doctors who don't know this.

Maybe also depend on the type of mask you wear. I’ve certainly heard the fabric face coverings don’t do much. You at least need get the white ones to get some protection.

I agree with you though that we can’t all avoid getting a cold. It would destroy our immune system.

DameWhiskers · 22/09/2023 09:48

@MariaVT65

A few of us in the thread have mentioned that we’ve been informed by doctors and scientists that masks don’t protect from viruses, as viruses are still too small to be shielded by a mask.

You've repeated that a couple of times. Just because they stated it doesn't make it true. Viruses aren't too small to get through masks. And primarily, they are carried in via droplets, and they are large.

MariaVT65 · 22/09/2023 09:51

DameWhiskers · 22/09/2023 09:48

@MariaVT65

A few of us in the thread have mentioned that we’ve been informed by doctors and scientists that masks don’t protect from viruses, as viruses are still too small to be shielded by a mask.

You've repeated that a couple of times. Just because they stated it doesn't make it true. Viruses aren't too small to get through masks. And primarily, they are carried in via droplets, and they are large.

Yep, but it might be good to accept people will take professional advice they are given, rather than advice by mumsnet, and that most people will not wear masks again. I’d be surprised if OP would have asked their friend to wear a mask before covid.

Dacadactyl · 22/09/2023 09:56

Lol. If you'd asked me to do that, I'd have left your house.

A mask for a cold....get a life!

Everanewbie · 22/09/2023 09:58

DameWhiskers · 22/09/2023 09:48

@MariaVT65

A few of us in the thread have mentioned that we’ve been informed by doctors and scientists that masks don’t protect from viruses, as viruses are still too small to be shielded by a mask.

You've repeated that a couple of times. Just because they stated it doesn't make it true. Viruses aren't too small to get through masks. And primarily, they are carried in via droplets, and they are large.

Perhaps I'll qualify my earlier statements. The evidence for cloth and surgical masks being effective against respiratory virus' in the community is inconclusive.

Clinical settings only ever wore surgical masks to prevent wound contamination and protect from blood splatters. They are not designed to protect against a respiratory virus.

OceanicBoundlessness · 22/09/2023 10:16

I met up with a friend outdoors a few weeks ago. She thought she had COVID and the timing would have been rubbish if I'd been susceptible to catching it and if I'd then had the sort of symptoms I had first time rather than second time around.
I don't take any particular precautions when going to cafes and other busy venues. I accept I'm going to be among people's illnesses and that my immune system will just deal with the majority.
If someone took great care to stay out of public spaces then their request to wear a mask would land much differently to someone who didn't give it a second thought usually.

MariePaperRoses · 22/09/2023 10:17

Do you honestly believe that wearing a cloth or tissue mask akin to wearing your underpants over your face is actually going to provide you with any protection or protects others from catching germs?

That's hilarious.

HateLongCovid · 22/09/2023 11:29

DottyLottieLou · 22/09/2023 09:26

I have been told the opposite by doctors. On their own viruses are too small but viruses travel in droplets which can't get through surgical masks. I'd seriously worry about doctors who don't know this.

Exactly!

HateLongCovid · 22/09/2023 11:40

MariePaperRoses · 22/09/2023 10:17

Do you honestly believe that wearing a cloth or tissue mask akin to wearing your underpants over your face is actually going to provide you with any protection or protects others from catching germs?

That's hilarious.

If they cough and sneeze in my face. I'd rather have a mask on thanks!

loulouljh · 22/09/2023 11:56

What in earth did people do before the cult of the mask???

Everanewbie · 22/09/2023 11:59

HateLongCovid · 22/09/2023 11:40

If they cough and sneeze in my face. I'd rather have a mask on thanks!

Show quote history

That choice isn't binary though, is it? Normal decent human beings sneeze into their hands, and tissue, their elbow etc.

DameWhiskers · 22/09/2023 12:01

loulouljh · 22/09/2023 11:56

What in earth did people do before the cult of the mask???

Get viruses all the time?

SunRainStorm · 22/09/2023 12:01

Dacadactyl · 22/09/2023 09:56

Lol. If you'd asked me to do that, I'd have left your house.

A mask for a cold....get a life!

Good 🤷‍♀️

Who wants a visitor with a cold in their house?

Id be thrilled if you left.

loulouljh · 22/09/2023 12:04

We get viruses and our immune systems deal with them! Quite straightforward really...