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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Tesco driver said I wasn't disabled

183 replies

Sara450 · 18/09/2023 21:31

I had a delivery from tesco today. The drivers always bring it up to my fiat on the third floor. I ordered via whoosh today.

The driver text me "I'm here. Come down."

I said "could you please bring it up, I'm unable to come down due to my disability."

He said, "come down."

Then he phoned me and said he'd leave my delivery on the street if I didn't come down.

I phoned my neighbour and she went out for me. He said to her "she's not disabled she's walked down the stairs before."

I'm so upset (maybe I'm being an idiot) but, I have MS and sometimes I'm okay, sometimes I'm not (I'm not today) 😔

Aibu to be annoyed at this?

OP posts:
CosyNightsOnTheSofa · 18/09/2023 23:51

Do they have to bring it to your door though, is it not just the building? I know I've accepted deliveries at work from tesco and they refused to take it beyond the front door (I was heavily pregnant too, not that Im saying that makes me disabled, but it meant I had to get other people to help), if he's delivered to your building surely he isn't out of order? I'd assume you have home help if you can't get out your building unsupported, could you not time delivery with when your home help of there? I think it'd be great for them to help but they are paid peanuts and are under time pressure to get everything delivered.

MostlyGinButSometimesRum · 18/09/2023 23:52

@TorqueWrench I'd just ignore @PurpleButterflyWings and @comedownwithme. They're ganging up on you and determined to feel they're right, without bothering to give this situation any other thought from the perspective of the driver. Your efforts if trying to enlighten them with another facet to this scenario is futile. They're too wound up into a nice little frenzy now.

I've commented on this thread previously, and acknowledged this driver was a dick, as a 'variable' disabled person myself. But what very few people realise are the targets and pressure these very low paid drivers are put under. And if they don't reach those targets within their shift, they have to run over their shift to meet the target for no extra pay or they're penalised (deducted) earnings, or are giving a disciplinary 'strike'. So many strikes and you're just cut loose and they move onto hiring the next poor unlucky sucker. Easy come easy go as far as Uber is concerned, they don't give a damn about how they treat them.

So, sometimes they snap. They make bad judgments, give poor customer service, say things they shouldn't. And while none of us have proof, I would put money on this driver having had a bad shift with an area manager breathing down his neck every 15 mins, with other difficult customers giving him shit, heavy traffic causing delays. And then at the end of it, after working under all that stress, for all those hours, he gets penalised on his earnings for not meeting that days target and has now made less than minimum wage and has only just covered/not even covered the cost of his fuel.

I'm all for calling out ableism, and I'm glad to hear the OP reported this. But it's really telling and disappointing that Tesco refuse to take any responsibility for the lack of standards upheld by the company they outsource deliveries to. The only way customer service gets better is by treating customer service providers with some decency. And that starts with their employer or the people who hire them on a self employed contract.

comedownwithme · 18/09/2023 23:55

@MostlyGinButSometimesRum

@TorqueWrench I'd just ignore @PurpleButterflyWings and @comedownwithme. They're ganging up on you and determined to feel they're right

This would be funny if it wasn't so stupid.

comedownwithme · 18/09/2023 23:56

@MostlyGinButSometimesRum

Also what you are saying about the drivers is wrong. They log on and choose their jobs. They don't have a 'shift' - you log on and off as you wish. Nobody is penalised.

redribbon1 · 18/09/2023 23:57

i would. some taxi drivers need a reminder they offer a service,

MostlyGinButSometimesRum · 18/09/2023 23:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TorqueWrench · 18/09/2023 23:58

Ok, let's draw a line under this.

I mean no offence to the OP and I genuinely feel bad for her. As I've repeatedly said, the delivery driver should not have said what he said.

However, I also believe that most people would understand my frustration at customers not reading the T&C's were they to do the job for even a week.

I've been spat at, physically assaulted, and I was shouted at almost daily when I was a delivery driver. It was nearly always due to the customer having not read the delivery terms. There was almost always a reason why I should do stuff outside of my job remit, ranging from the husband not being home to lift the item, the kids needing supervised, bad back, pregnant, etc etc.

Almost every single time the issue was that the customer was not aware it was kerbside delivery because they'd not read the small print.

So, when I read a pile on about a situation where a customer has yet again not read the delivery conditions and is angry that the driver won't do stuff he isn't obligated to it's hard to not feel the blame is equally apportioned, even if his comments were unacceptable.

MostlyGinButSometimesRum · 19/09/2023 00:00

comedownwithme · 18/09/2023 23:56

@MostlyGinButSometimesRum

Also what you are saying about the drivers is wrong. They log on and choose their jobs. They don't have a 'shift' - you log on and off as you wish. Nobody is penalised.

That's not true either. It depends on the contract you've been signed up to.

Again, making up shit to suit your own nasty little agenda against one person on this thread who attempted to offer you a different perspective

Poaq · 19/09/2023 00:01

That's not how uber works in regards to shift managers etc. But you are right it's often underpaid, can be below nmw per hour.
But I very much agree that tesco should be contacting uber on ops behalf, these companies that 3rd party out to companies that don't even guarentee nmw should be ashamed of themselves really.

TorqueWrench · 19/09/2023 00:02

MostlyGinButSometimesRum · 18/09/2023 23:52

@TorqueWrench I'd just ignore @PurpleButterflyWings and @comedownwithme. They're ganging up on you and determined to feel they're right, without bothering to give this situation any other thought from the perspective of the driver. Your efforts if trying to enlighten them with another facet to this scenario is futile. They're too wound up into a nice little frenzy now.

I've commented on this thread previously, and acknowledged this driver was a dick, as a 'variable' disabled person myself. But what very few people realise are the targets and pressure these very low paid drivers are put under. And if they don't reach those targets within their shift, they have to run over their shift to meet the target for no extra pay or they're penalised (deducted) earnings, or are giving a disciplinary 'strike'. So many strikes and you're just cut loose and they move onto hiring the next poor unlucky sucker. Easy come easy go as far as Uber is concerned, they don't give a damn about how they treat them.

So, sometimes they snap. They make bad judgments, give poor customer service, say things they shouldn't. And while none of us have proof, I would put money on this driver having had a bad shift with an area manager breathing down his neck every 15 mins, with other difficult customers giving him shit, heavy traffic causing delays. And then at the end of it, after working under all that stress, for all those hours, he gets penalised on his earnings for not meeting that days target and has now made less than minimum wage and has only just covered/not even covered the cost of his fuel.

I'm all for calling out ableism, and I'm glad to hear the OP reported this. But it's really telling and disappointing that Tesco refuse to take any responsibility for the lack of standards upheld by the company they outsource deliveries to. The only way customer service gets better is by treating customer service providers with some decency. And that starts with their employer or the people who hire them on a self employed contract.

Edited

100%

MostlyGinButSometimesRum · 19/09/2023 00:04

TorqueWrench · 18/09/2023 23:58

Ok, let's draw a line under this.

I mean no offence to the OP and I genuinely feel bad for her. As I've repeatedly said, the delivery driver should not have said what he said.

However, I also believe that most people would understand my frustration at customers not reading the T&C's were they to do the job for even a week.

I've been spat at, physically assaulted, and I was shouted at almost daily when I was a delivery driver. It was nearly always due to the customer having not read the delivery terms. There was almost always a reason why I should do stuff outside of my job remit, ranging from the husband not being home to lift the item, the kids needing supervised, bad back, pregnant, etc etc.

Almost every single time the issue was that the customer was not aware it was kerbside delivery because they'd not read the small print.

So, when I read a pile on about a situation where a customer has yet again not read the delivery conditions and is angry that the driver won't do stuff he isn't obligated to it's hard to not feel the blame is equally apportioned, even if his comments were unacceptable.

They know you're right. Of course tou are. But they'll be back in sec to spout more bullshit. They're both the type to need the last word. So I'm gonna leave the little vipers to it and get myself off to bed.

Well done for reporting OP, glad to hear you were refunded. If you find the energy, I'd encourage tou to contact Whoosh/Uber and raise this with them too.

BananaSlug · 19/09/2023 00:09

Sara450 · 18/09/2023 23:36

I didn't order via tesco directly because they don't offer one hour slots, and atm I am not sure how I'll feel from one hour to the next.

Anyway, I'm sorry I seem to have caused an argument, that's the last thing I wanted to do.

Iceland’s Asda and Sainsbury’s offer same day delivery. I avoid Tesco for same day delivery as I know it’s delivered by Uber and is from an express store whereas the others come from the supermarket and are delivered by them.

Emz6103 · 19/09/2023 00:11

TorqueWrench · 18/09/2023 22:30

I wouldn't have said what he said but neither would I be 'apologising profusely' for the customer not having read the terms and conditions properly. I suspect the driver would tell a different story, likely involving the neighbour berating him for not doing something he isn't obliged to do.

I also rather expect he encounters a lot of excuses as to why people can't come down and get their shopping, which doesn't make it ok but goes some way to understanding why he might have become frustrated when under fire for not doing something he isn't obliged to do. I certainly wouldn't be trudging up and down stairs all day for less than minimum wage.

I agree, 💯. Imagine running peoples shopping up n down three flights of stairs every day. Unless he's a fit young man I expect he'd have knackered knees n back after a month. He's probably a middle age man on minimum wage and who's gonna pay his rent or mortgage and feed his wife n kids if he damaged his back? Easy to slate him on social media but it's impractical to expect him to run peoples shopping up three flights of stairs. No he shouldn't have doubted her BUT I think there is only so much you can reasonably ask of someone. Imagine having to do that three or four times a day......you'd never get anyone to do the job. I think it's wise for OP to arrange someone to be there for her next time.

ToWhitToWhoo · 19/09/2023 00:25

It is incredibly hurtful to question someone's disability in this way; and especially to make such comments to the OP's neighbour: that is a form of spiteful gossip. I have some mild-moderate disabilities myself, which have usually been accepted since I stopped being a Young Person Who Should be Able-Bodied, but when people have been harsh on the subject, it has caused me ENORMOUS pain.

Probably the OP should have stated explicitly when she made the order that she would need the delivery brought up to her: then if they weren't prepared to, they could have cancelled to start with, or otherwise made sure that the driver was willing. Unfortunately, this is the sort of thing that can happen when services are outsourced from one company to another.

Anewnamea · 19/09/2023 00:28

That’s outrageous, I’ve had similar with Uber eats etc when I’ve been unable to come down due to being ill ..covid /post viral illness extreme period pain etc…and they’ve either grudgingly came up to my floor with a lot of moaning or refused to come up.

I try and just stick to my weekly grocery delivery with sainsburys or Tesco because they always deliver right to my door.

Glad you got a refund.

TheMountainsCall · 19/09/2023 00:35

In my experience, the store delivery people and the fast delivery people are quite different. I have stairs leading up to my house. The store people always bring it up. The fast delivery people don't. Their job doesn't extend to that. They will always leave it at the bottom of the stairs. Stick with the store if they provide a service the other doesn't.

ToWhitToWhoo · 19/09/2023 00:36

I certainly also agree that this sort of outsourcing leads to exploitation of the drivers, as well as poor service to the customers. And that in this case the driver may have been under excessive pressure to get his deliveries done as quickly as possible. However, this doesn't justify attacking someone about the genuineness of their disabilities, Unfortunately, I think the real culprits are those in the media, who, before asylum seekers became top target, got off on whipping up suspicion and hatred of disabled people supposedly faking their disabilities to claim undeserved benefits.

ToWhitToWhoo · 19/09/2023 00:38

TheMountainsCall · 19/09/2023 00:35

In my experience, the store delivery people and the fast delivery people are quite different. I have stairs leading up to my house. The store people always bring it up. The fast delivery people don't. Their job doesn't extend to that. They will always leave it at the bottom of the stairs. Stick with the store if they provide a service the other doesn't.

Agree. Even if it takes longer to get a slot, I much prefer to use store delivery, and would advise the OP and anyone else with any special needs to do the same.

Chocolatepopcorn · 19/09/2023 00:56

asecretslob · 18/09/2023 22:41

@Chocolatepopcorn

Can you elaborate on this please ? And why you think your opinion is so important

He's in a minimum wage job delivering shopping. I think the onus is on the customer to organise someone to pick it up from the ground floor.

Ikeepmybumcheekshidden · 19/09/2023 01:00

PurpleButterflyWings · 18/09/2023 21:50

Fuck me that's outrageous! Shock No way should anyone be accusing you of not being disabled or trying it on etc. Has he even had any training??? EVER? This is basic entry level knowledge. When someone says they are disabled - EVEN IF YOU DON'T THINK THEY LOOK IT - you fucking believe them! Mainly because there is an extremely high chance they will be telling the truth.

I'm shook! Sad

I'm sorry you went through this @Sara450 Please complain to Tesco ON TWITTER. Flowers They hate social media shaming.

Thinking of you sweetie. ❤

Edited

I too am disabled and all of us disabled drivers get this EVERY DAY! Whenever we park in blue badge spaces or use a disabled toilet. Especially if we younger than 50/60! I've even been hit with a walking stick before!

Ikeepmybumcheekshidden · 19/09/2023 01:01

@Tlolljs Confused I wouldn't want a Tesco driver in my kitchen?!?!?! Does that not make you feel uncomfortable?

BonnieLisbon · 19/09/2023 01:04

Emz6103 · 19/09/2023 00:11

I agree, 💯. Imagine running peoples shopping up n down three flights of stairs every day. Unless he's a fit young man I expect he'd have knackered knees n back after a month. He's probably a middle age man on minimum wage and who's gonna pay his rent or mortgage and feed his wife n kids if he damaged his back? Easy to slate him on social media but it's impractical to expect him to run peoples shopping up three flights of stairs. No he shouldn't have doubted her BUT I think there is only so much you can reasonably ask of someone. Imagine having to do that three or four times a day......you'd never get anyone to do the job. I think it's wise for OP to arrange someone to be there for her next time.

Yes it's a difficult situation as it's a health and safety issue for the man as he could damage his back and knees. Those boxes are heavy. Mine uses a trolley to carry the boxes from the van as he sometimes can't park right outside my house, but obviously that wouldnt work up 3 storeys of stairs.

Ikeepmybumcheekshidden · 19/09/2023 01:06

I have to get supermarket deliveries due to my disability as I can’t walk round supermarkets anymore.
However Asda & Morrisons just shove everything into crates and dump it in front of your doorstep! Meaning I have to bend over 85 times to pick each item up. It absolutely KILLS my back. I've called Customer Services for each company and they each just essentially shrugged their shoulders and gave me some gumph about cutting down on plastic.
Thankfully Ocado use bags which I'm incredibly grateful for. They always lift up each bag and hand them to me, too! Makes it 85 times easier!
I did ask a few of the delivery drivers for Morrisons & Asda if they could help me but they just said they're "not allowed" Hmm

TorqueWrench · 19/09/2023 01:18

Emz6103 · 19/09/2023 00:11

I agree, 💯. Imagine running peoples shopping up n down three flights of stairs every day. Unless he's a fit young man I expect he'd have knackered knees n back after a month. He's probably a middle age man on minimum wage and who's gonna pay his rent or mortgage and feed his wife n kids if he damaged his back? Easy to slate him on social media but it's impractical to expect him to run peoples shopping up three flights of stairs. No he shouldn't have doubted her BUT I think there is only so much you can reasonably ask of someone. Imagine having to do that three or four times a day......you'd never get anyone to do the job. I think it's wise for OP to arrange someone to be there for her next time.

I'd never comment on a disability, both out of decency and also because it's a surefire way to lose your job, but the situation that caused me to quit halfway through my shift was in some ways similar.

I arrived at a home to deliver a washing machine. I was stressed before I even arrived due to the difficulty I had getting through the estate in a 26t truck. It's the responsibility of the customer to inform the courier of any access restrictions/relevant factors but of course most didn't read the terms. We were allowed to refuse to attempt delivery and it could be rebooked for redelivery on a 7.5t van for a small fee if the driver didn't feel it safe to attempt.

On this particular job, however, it was an estate with a one way system and it got progressively narrower. The house was situated down a street with a sharp bend and an 'unsuitable for HGVs' sign which was helpfully only visible past the point of no return.

Having attempted the delivery it was now my responsibility and any damage to the truck or 3rd party property would be on my head, with me contractually having to pay the excess on any insurance claim (about a week's wages). So I was sweating about getting out unscathed before I'd even rung the doorbell.

On arrival, a woman answered the door and said she wanted it in the garage. I informed her it was a kerbside delivery and she quickly became rude and obnoxious. She then made me wait for 10 mins whilst she called the retailer, which was pointless as they had no authority over me. I waited as I really didn't need the hassle of a complaint and also because I needed to get the pallet off to make room for my collections.

After repeatedly telling the retailer that I couldn't deliver onto private property and that there was no chance of me pushing the pallet up the slanted drive on my own they finally relented. She then spent another five mins berating me before calling a neighbour.

Neighbour took ten mins to arrive and then started the whole argument from scratch which wasted a further five mins. I was only scheduled 15 mins per delivery and had by now been there for 30 mins with the pallet still on the kerb and unsigned for. This meant I'd failed my kpi's and lost my bonus.

I eventually ended up breaking the rules and helping push it up the drive. The customer then said "see, that wasn't so difficult" in a really smug tone and I was really losing my cool by then, knowing I could still lose my job and wishing I'd not helped.

She then said she wanted to sign using her own pen as so many people must've touched mine. A whole ten mins later she returned with a real smug look and spent ages pretending to read the docket before signing. At this point I'd been there almost an hour and finally decided that no shitly paid job was worth this and I reloaded the pallet back on the truck. 😂 She said "you can't do that" and I said fucking watch me looool.

Then came all the angry threatening calls from the office. I said fuck it and parked the truck up and got an uber. They said they weren't going to pay me for the rest of the week I'd worked and I said I'd forward the texts to the traffic commissioner where they'd told me I had to finish my jobs regardless of being over the legal driving hours.

I swore that day never to work with the general public and years on I never have. The whoosh driver was objectively wrong in what he said but it's incredibly frustrating to have to argue all day with people who expect things outside of your job remit. Especially when you're getting paid peanuts and working to a tight schedule. I now earn £50k driving heavy duty concrete mixers and it's 100x less stressful.

oakleaffy · 19/09/2023 01:29

TorqueWrench · 19/09/2023 01:18

I'd never comment on a disability, both out of decency and also because it's a surefire way to lose your job, but the situation that caused me to quit halfway through my shift was in some ways similar.

I arrived at a home to deliver a washing machine. I was stressed before I even arrived due to the difficulty I had getting through the estate in a 26t truck. It's the responsibility of the customer to inform the courier of any access restrictions/relevant factors but of course most didn't read the terms. We were allowed to refuse to attempt delivery and it could be rebooked for redelivery on a 7.5t van for a small fee if the driver didn't feel it safe to attempt.

On this particular job, however, it was an estate with a one way system and it got progressively narrower. The house was situated down a street with a sharp bend and an 'unsuitable for HGVs' sign which was helpfully only visible past the point of no return.

Having attempted the delivery it was now my responsibility and any damage to the truck or 3rd party property would be on my head, with me contractually having to pay the excess on any insurance claim (about a week's wages). So I was sweating about getting out unscathed before I'd even rung the doorbell.

On arrival, a woman answered the door and said she wanted it in the garage. I informed her it was a kerbside delivery and she quickly became rude and obnoxious. She then made me wait for 10 mins whilst she called the retailer, which was pointless as they had no authority over me. I waited as I really didn't need the hassle of a complaint and also because I needed to get the pallet off to make room for my collections.

After repeatedly telling the retailer that I couldn't deliver onto private property and that there was no chance of me pushing the pallet up the slanted drive on my own they finally relented. She then spent another five mins berating me before calling a neighbour.

Neighbour took ten mins to arrive and then started the whole argument from scratch which wasted a further five mins. I was only scheduled 15 mins per delivery and had by now been there for 30 mins with the pallet still on the kerb and unsigned for. This meant I'd failed my kpi's and lost my bonus.

I eventually ended up breaking the rules and helping push it up the drive. The customer then said "see, that wasn't so difficult" in a really smug tone and I was really losing my cool by then, knowing I could still lose my job and wishing I'd not helped.

She then said she wanted to sign using her own pen as so many people must've touched mine. A whole ten mins later she returned with a real smug look and spent ages pretending to read the docket before signing. At this point I'd been there almost an hour and finally decided that no shitly paid job was worth this and I reloaded the pallet back on the truck. 😂 She said "you can't do that" and I said fucking watch me looool.

Then came all the angry threatening calls from the office. I said fuck it and parked the truck up and got an uber. They said they weren't going to pay me for the rest of the week I'd worked and I said I'd forward the texts to the traffic commissioner where they'd told me I had to finish my jobs regardless of being over the legal driving hours.

I swore that day never to work with the general public and years on I never have. The whoosh driver was objectively wrong in what he said but it's incredibly frustrating to have to argue all day with people who expect things outside of your job remit. Especially when you're getting paid peanuts and working to a tight schedule. I now earn £50k driving heavy duty concrete mixers and it's 100x less stressful.

Good for you, @TorqueWrench

I know a Driver who worked in Lockdown, and he says people {the general public} can be really arsey and entitled, and treat a driver as if he or she is like a minion to do their bidding.

Some can be lovely, though.

A coal merchant we had was obviously in serious pain from many years of carrying heavy sacks- He retired a short time after due to arthritis.

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