To not make Christmas dinner dairy free??

[Bellyblueboy]

Very early I know! I cater Christmas dinner every year for my family. I am single and child free but I host for my parents, brother, sister and their families. My parents stay with me for a few nights. It’s a lot of work.

My nine year old nephew was diagnosed as lactose intolerant this year. So of course I will be researching this and making sure his starter, main and desert is lactose free. I even thought of putting little flags in bowls that are lactose free. I was going to order little flags with a picture of a cow crossed out! Make it fun.

my SIL has said it will be unfair if there is food on the table that he can’t eat so the whole meal has to be dairy free.

I order Black Forest gateau every year - my parents love it. Apparently no. He never eats it - I get kid friendly deserts for the four children.

I am a lazy cook - I get the whole meal from marks and Spencer! Prepared mash the lot. I am now told I can’t do this as there are milk products in the mashed and roast potatoes. It would be a huge amount of work to do everything from scratch, I don’t want that to be my Christmas Day and my cooking skills aren’t up to it.

I have said no - this is what I am doing. My brother is now annoyed that i won’t bend to his wife’s demands and have ruined Christmas. I had said he is welcome to come to my house and do the cooking, or host. Or eat at his house then come for coffee and presents. He has told on me! My mum is upset that she won’t have all her family round her at Christmas - dad was ill this year and they have been looking forward to a relaxing Christmas! Agh. It’s only September.

rant over. But honestly give it to me straight am I a selfish child hating spinster! Would you all accommodate this???

Womblegreen
I echo the recommendation of lactase if it’s an intolerance, maybe gift wrapped in his place at the table?!

😂 Way to come across as a passive aggressive knob at what is supposed to be a nice family get together and to "other" the poor kid by wrapping him up some type of medicine at the table and have it pointed out to everyone at the table!
Batshit on here sometimes lol

A lot of people are completely brushing over the fact that the boy's parents are cheeky fuckers who turn up every year empty handed and eat/drink OP out of house and home, without helping or contributing in any way.

Yet they think they can make demands?

I'd send them the cost of the shop after you make it all dairy free and say you'll do it if they pay for it. Oh how they will change their tune.

the OP has stated (more than once) that she'll have two turkeys, one basted, one unbasted.

do you have a problem that prevents you from reading her posts?

Not bothered reading the updates then or does the OP need to type slower for you?

The OP"s description is exactly what I've written - plain chicken breast and veg.

No it isn't. Poor attempt at goading.

Honestly if you don't want to invite people with allergies and dietary restrictions just don't ask them. Don't invite them and pretend you like them whilst bitching about them behind their backs - they will know.

I think you may be projecting here. I love my nephew. I am not bitching about him. I am absolutely prepared to cater for his food intolerance. I am just not prepared to take adult’s favourite dishes off the menu - dishes that he doesn’t even like and wouldn’t eat. For dishes he does like he is getting DF versions.

I think that is reasonable. I think that is what he gets everywhere else he goes - including in his own home.

I think you need to give your head a wobble!

cheeky fuckers who feed their child food containing lactose.

yet the accommodating OP is the villain of the piece.

😂

YANBU , my daughter ( now adult but diagnosed as a child ) is coeliac and when we go to my sisters on Christmas Day she’s always just cooked her a gluten free alternative if the usual thing isn’t GF , it’s perfectly acceptable .

By how you've described your relationship with your DB, I'd honestly save your money use it for a holiday and have a Christmas without family. Your DB sounds exhausting. You've offered reasonable alternatives.

My daughter has a dairy allergy and I’d never expect this. I’d 100% be annoyed and possibly not attend if someone refused outright to accommodate it ALL but that’s not what you’re suggesting. In fact, when I prepare food for lots of people I will do exactly what you suggested with flags and separate bowls. We happen to have a friend with a dairy allergy and they were thrilled to see it all marked out as it’s not normally accommodated for at all.

Perhaps she needs a diagram?

Have you replied to your mum?

I'm actually now in favour of this as your response to your mother.

Kids starters will all be dairy free, his meal will be diary free and the kids dessert will be dairy free. The dairy containing food is the more adult food that the OP has said the kids don't eat. I also imagine that's precisely the reason why she doesn't want to do a 100% dairy free meal when the child isn't eating a good chunk of what she wants to keep dairy free.

I have a lactose intolerant nephew. "Intolerant" means he becomes extremely ill very soon after eating the food and can have diarrhoea/upset stomach for a day or more afterward. As opposed to the type of reaction dealt with via epipens.

It really wasn't that difficult to include him at least in the big family set piece type events until he was used to managing it himself.

You seem to want not to be inconvenienced but also not be happy with the option of them just joining later in the day. You can't have it both ways usually.

The OP has said the nephew will have his favourite sausages and ketchup, some non basted turkey, his own roast spuds and non dairy mash, he doesn't like veg/cauliflower cheese, so no problem there. He will have his own dairy free choc and sweets and all the kids will have a dairy free pudding, because none of them like the traditional Black Forest Gateaux that the adults enjoy. Exactly what part of the Christmas food is the nephew missing out on?

The raging narcissism on this thread is astounding. Some people really do expect the entire world to revolve around their needs.

he is getting Turkey, mashed potato, roast potato, veg and gravy.

he is getting cocktail sausage and DF mini pizza for starters and a DF desert.

he is getting DF chocolates and treats - DF hot chocolate.

well he is offered this. His parents might not come. If they don’t I suspect they will eat dairy at home. My brother will not go without cauliflower cheese and will have lots and lots of cream on everything.

please read the thread before you come on with insulting comments.

I think she has but my response would be..

You're right, mum. It's too tense and stressful. I wouldn't want to upset anybody so let's go out for dinner instead. We should still be able to book something now and we'll all just pay for ourselves.

You can't have it both ways usually.

You might want to tell OP’s brother and his wife that.

The angriest ones are always the ones too lazy to read the OP's posts.

They also always claim to be such lovely people themselves and the most wonderful hosts.

OP is so selfish, I bet she's getting Baileys for the adults and not getting a dairy free alternative for the 9 year old.

😂

@Bellyblueboy At time of writing, a whopping 96% of people here think YANBU, but you’re focussed on arguing with the other 4%. Why? Why are you fighting your corner against a vanishingly small percentage of pisstakers, as opposed to accepting that the overwhelming majority of people think you’re in the right and proceeding accordingly?

And why do you let your family treat you in this fashion? You’re clearly an intelligent woman and must know all of this is unacceptable on multiple levels. So, why tolerate it?

You are right! I am having the argument with my SIL through strangers on the internet so I stay calm and reserved with her😂.

I will stop