Why didn't they go to the police? (TW)

[CynicalUsee]

I am sick of hearing this being trotted out in relation to victims of sexual assault. The only person the victim is responsible for is themselves and their own recovery, that is it. No one else. They aren't responsible for potential future victims, they aren't responsible for the rapist. If they choose not to report the crime that is 100% ok if they choose to go to the police that is 100% ok.

What anyone chooses to do with their recovery is their choice. For a group of people who have suffered due to having choice removed from them why are people so hellbent on creating more trauma by laying on guilt and removing more choice away from them?

Well, I'm glad the police are good. But you'll still be at the mercy of the courts. And beware that by the time that happens (years), the police involved may have moved on from the job and might not be able to testify.

Yes, absolutely.

I don’t understand why they then are able to speak to the press

Because they want to be heard.

''Alice'' says she had contacted Brand's representatives looking for an apology, but instead got a reply from lawyers basically calling her a liar and implying that what she was doing (telling them about Brand) was 'blackmail'.

I imagine being told by a lawyer that you're 'blackmailing' someone with a lot more money and power than you is terrifying if you don't have the eye-watering amount of money you'd need to defend yourself in court.

However, Channel 4 and the Times are lawyered up, their lawyers will have been all over this investigation doing their best to make it as solid as possible in case there's legal action, so I don't blame the women for getting it out there in this way, with C4 and the Times (and their lawyers) behind them. Going against a millionaire alone would be daunting. Going against a millionaire with two wealthy organisations behind you probably makes it less so, it takes some of the power imbalance away.

Also it's not a quick 'report and then done' i actually complained but then had to keep going back to identify people when tbh I was over it and wanted to just move on (im totally fine now). Im not saying the police were wrong as they had a job to do but it is something to take into consideration that it might be easier to forget and move on.

My story is slightly different in the fact I had a witness to the whole thing. I was 11 and my friend and I were told to pick which one by person a and b . I obviously protected my friend. What makes it more complicated is that it was her family. I had no choice but to choose me. After my attack, we were then locked up like dogs by person c . We were eventually released after what felt like a lifetime with a warning to keep our mouths shut. I never told anyone til I was 18. The shrink I accidentally told reported to the police without my say so. I was forced into giving a statement and was pressured into pressing charges, which I didn’t by a male police officer. I’m still haunted to this day, it’s been 19 years.

The criminal justice system is massively weighted in favour of the rich and powerful. When considering sexual crimes, it is even more prevalent and compounded by the absolutely miniscule conviction rate.

This is not the case in the mainstream media, when these women are approached by investigative journalists who are motivated to expose the criminal. Its a much more level platform.

My god, that made my stomach lurch. I'm so very, very sorry. I hope you can find a way to heal.

PP have eloquently shared why women are so traumatised and afraid that they do not report a crime.

To add to their words, since these crimes happened...

• the world has changed, and there has been a marked reduction in everyone thinking sexual harrasment is just banter and/or young women played a role in 'asking for' their assaults by being in the presence of perpertrators
• the young women involved have grown older and quite possibly grown in confidence and shrunk in tolerence for bullshit
• Harvey Weinstein was convicted of several cases of rape - trials that were themselves triggered by a newspaper article and investgative journalism, possibly leading to a greater confidence you will be believed over the powerful celebrity
• Brand himself has lost any mainstream protection - he might still have a lot of followers but he is clearly outside of the protective wing of the TV channels etc.

I am sorry for those who reported and were not treated with kindness.

I dislike the pressure that victims are placed under to 'do right' when it is not them who have done wrong.

I see it in the counselling / psychiatry professions.. 'if you disclose something to me, I have an obligation to report it'..

I understand that where the outcome can be to prevent ongoing harm to the individual making the report.. but when someone is seeking help, threatening them with the weight of the law can in many cases be harmful.

All of this ^^

And to add, there will be empowerment in hearing that someone else experienced the same thing as you and are being taking seriously. When I experienced a (relatively minor) assault, I convinced myself I must have imagined it. When I heard another girl had reported him it gave me the confidence to speak out about it.

The ill-informed comments about "confirmation bias" are really enraging tbh.

Just wanting to add my utmost admiration for anyone brave enough to tell their stories, wherever they manage to do it. And to gently remind folk that weeks like this leave many of us raw and struggling, with no choice but to remember and relive our worst moments..Not generally in the #bekind movement, but I think today it's an appropriate sentiment.