AIBU to get rid of 80% of my "stuff".

[TimeForHygge]

I need online counselling to either support or stop me from what I am about to do.

I want to get rid of 80% of my stuff as in; clothes, shoes, bags, jewellery, hats and other things.

I don't have loads and loads of things, but I have a lot of things I am not using. I also have nice things. For example, Ralph Lauren chinos that are 2 sizes too small that I am keeping for when I fit into them. Not worn them for 7 years! Coloured leather gloves that I am never going to wear. A designer bag that is a bit of a mad colour, that I never use. The one I am most embarrassed about is I have a lot of nice silver jewellery that I have never worn, and it is from a very posh shop, and it is all black. I've cleaned it, then it goes black quickly again.

I buy things that I think are nice, but they are not really compatible with my lifestyle, and I don't wear them. I spend my life at work (uniform), or working out (gym gear), doing chores (jeans, casual trainers and top), and the very occasional meal out (smart casual).

I need to lose weight, but feel it is wrong to hang on to my size 10 stuff. Plus, if I was a size 10, I'd probably feel so fabulous, I'd treat myself.

So, AIBU to get rid of all of this stuff? It feels so wrong. It also feels bad selling things I have paid a lot of money for.

If I was to sell my silver stuff, what should I do with it? It's black. I also have a Cartier ring (makes us sound rich and we are so not!) that my DH bought me years ago before DC, and I have never worn it. What a waste. How can I sell that?

Also, I have some nice rings from places like Swarovski. How do I work out the size so I can sell it?

Am I nuts, or is this the best thin to do? From now on I just want to have less, but better quality. For example, I have a pair of diamond studs and I am now wearing them every day because I just left them in all the time.

YANBU.

You want to have less, so the obvious solution is to get rid of stuff. That money you spent on stuff is gone, its not coming back, so anything you can get for selling it is a bonus.

Silver is easily cleaned - Goddard's silver cleaner is brilliant, you just put some on and rub it round and the black/tarnish will come right off. Jewellers will buy silver by weight as they will with gold.

If I were you I would tackle one "category" at a time rather than trying to do it all. So start with the silver, deal with that, move on to something else.

Do it! I love decluttering and 99.9% of the time don't miss the stuff. I love the space. But yes you do have to work at not just replacing it.
Maybe you could sort through everything and keep it in a sort of "transition place" to reconcile with yourself that it's the right decision before getting rid?
I wouldn't worry about the guilt regarding the money as such. It's been spent and if you sell it then you're getting more back for it than if it's sat in your wardrobe. Just think of it as an expensive lesson to not buy things not compatible with your life in the future.

Sell or give away what you do not need. I personally would keep a Cartier ring as your children one day may love to have it and the return for selling it is lower than the joy of receiving what was your mother.
If you do not need money, the give the silver jewellery to a charity...it will do some people good.

Sounds like your current self is punishing your previous self.

What’s actually preventing you from losing weight?

Sell things you don’t actually like or use, get rid of everything less than one size below where you currently are. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Sell the most bonkers things like the bag and gloves.

If you don't use it, there is no point in holding onto it. Yes, you paid money for it but it is irrelevant because you are never getting this money back just by storing these things. Sell them on.
To clean silver, fill the pot with boiling water, put a teaspoon of bicarbonate soda and a piece of foil. Boil your silver in it for a couple of minutes and all the black will come right off.
I would keep the Cartier ring as a family heirloom and get rid of the rest. There are plenty of websites and apps you can use to sell your designer goods and claw back some money.

You will probably find it very freeing to clear out stuff that's the "old you" or you bought inappropriately for your lifestyle. Go with the attitude that the money you spent on it is gone, and any sales are a bonus. Start by getting rid of the easy stuff that's for the bin or charity shop, then do the simple to sell stuff and lastly the stuff that needs attention before you can sell it.

Put whatever you think you don't need/want away in storage boxes. Set a time like 2/3/4/5 months and if you've havent looked for one of the items then you clearly don't need it so sell or donate to charity.

Good idea! I have done this myself and it feels. One category at a time. Sorting clothes is particularly good because it can really adjust what you buy in the future. My wardrobe is a lot better coordinated now.

Do it!!

Get rid of the stuff, you will feel so much better for it. I love a good clear out!

The clothes that are too small, get rid, dress for the body you have now and try to embrace don't live your life away wishing you were thinner. Vinted is good for clothes.

Silver, clean the bits you might like to keep, the rest take it and cash it in. keep the Cartier ring for sentimental value.

*Sounds like your current self is punishing your previous self.

What’s actually preventing you from losing weight?*

I've tried to lose weight and it is not happening. In the past it would drop off. The only thing I can think of, is that I am in the middle of the menopause. I have tackled my fitness and have toned up massively so I am not going to get hung up on my weight at the moment.

You will probably find it very freeing to clear out stuff that's the "old you"

Yes, it is all the "old" me. I want the new me to be less is more, simpler, and classic. I want good quality things that I will wear all the time and not have 7 dresses that I don't wear.

I am really good at looking after my nutrition, skin, hair and fitness. I am not really a clothes or accessories person. I want to look nice though and think I would be better with a few classic things rather than loads of stuff I don't use.

It is a gorgeous Cartier ring. It is a bit scratched. Is there anywhere I could get it buffed up and smoothed out?

I love decluttering, sell your clothes, bags etc on Vinted. Sell anything you don't want/need it's very empowering.

Do it OP!! I got rid of 67 bin bags full of clothing and toys to charity or the tip ( depending on quality ) it gave me such a buzz and it's so nice to easily be able to find the clothes and shoes that I DO like. I periodically declutter the kitchen or garage when I fancy a little buzz 😂 you won't regret it

Do you love the cartier ring op? Does it have sentimental value?

I had my mum's old engagement ring in a drawer for years, utterly not my style, never wore it, my mum was divorced and the ring had zero sentimental value for her either. I had it remodelled (sold the yellow gold and replaced with platinum) and now wear it every day, I love it and it WILL now be a treasured heirloom rather than some ugly bit of jewellery that my kids hate but don't wear.

If you don't love it and don't wear it, sell it or have it remodelled. Otherwise it's just stuff that's filling your drawers and headspace.

I wish I had the willpower to declutter so hard, God knows my house needs it!

Do it. It is so cathartic. I have done it a few times over the years and it is the best feeling. You do not need 'things'. Things do not make you happy.

Do it!

I did a full kon Marie tidy a few years back. Got rid of 60% of our belongings. So liberating and properly life changing.

The book is well worth a read 'life changing magic of tidying' by Marie Kondo. It might give you the confidence to move forward.

Clothes are the first thing you'd start with anyway and the book helps guide you so that you make sound decisions that you can live with afterwards.

Do it.

Be wary of selling things though. Worth it, but give a time limit to sell. If no one's bought it in say 2 or 3 weeks, then unlist and get rid.

I have a Hobbs skirt I've been waiting to 'fit back into' for 20 years.

It's moved house with me 4 times.

I need to do this too.

With the rings. Maybe keep them to give to DC when they are older?

Do it! Watch The Minimalists, they have great "rules" and I find watching their videos helps me to not buy more stuff I don't need, in addition to motivating me to get rid of clutter. Also keep in mind that stuff being kept and not used can become damaged. I've had shoes crack from not being worn and a really nice leather handbag ruined because I stored it in the garage. Someone could have been loving and using the things you have kept for 7 years..

Take the ring into Cartier. They will clean & re-polish it (for a fee probs!) Get a verbal valuation &, if it's then worth it, a written valuation for insurance.

I did it i even put a post up about it called the deep clean not many replies 😆.
But i did get rid of so much and i dont miss a thing .
I got brutal with my home i just had crap laying around clothes i was never gonna put on .
Now i have space less crap and clutter i only have what i use it feels great .

Do it. You won't regret it.

Ever since I took on the thankless task of clearing out my (hoarder) mum's house 2 years ago I am determined I won't pass on the same burden to my own DC so have been steadily decluttering ever since. The more I get rid of, the easier the process becomes.

During this process I have (coincidentally) lost weight and dropped 3 dress sizes. Even so, I don't regret the clothes I gave away because I didn't think they would ever fit me again. It's been a pleasure to buy new things and my style has completely changed.

The decluttering is still a work in progress but one rule I've found helpful is the one in, one out rule. For every new thing I buy something old has to be sold or donated or binned. It really focuses my mind when I see something I would like to think what I would give away in order to have it? I've just bought a lovely pair of Superga trainers but in order to have them an old pair of Skechers had to go. And I've actually found that quite often it ends up being one thing in, two or three things out. So the quantity of stuff I have is gradually reducing but the average 'niceness' and personal value of what I keep is increasing.

Once you get over the initial shock of parting with things you have held onto for years it's a joyous and somewhat addictive process.