AIBU to get rid of 80% of my "stuff".

[TimeForHygge]

I need online counselling to either support or stop me from what I am about to do.

I want to get rid of 80% of my stuff as in; clothes, shoes, bags, jewellery, hats and other things.

I don't have loads and loads of things, but I have a lot of things I am not using. I also have nice things. For example, Ralph Lauren chinos that are 2 sizes too small that I am keeping for when I fit into them. Not worn them for 7 years! Coloured leather gloves that I am never going to wear. A designer bag that is a bit of a mad colour, that I never use. The one I am most embarrassed about is I have a lot of nice silver jewellery that I have never worn, and it is from a very posh shop, and it is all black. I've cleaned it, then it goes black quickly again.

I buy things that I think are nice, but they are not really compatible with my lifestyle, and I don't wear them. I spend my life at work (uniform), or working out (gym gear), doing chores (jeans, casual trainers and top), and the very occasional meal out (smart casual).

I need to lose weight, but feel it is wrong to hang on to my size 10 stuff. Plus, if I was a size 10, I'd probably feel so fabulous, I'd treat myself.

So, AIBU to get rid of all of this stuff? It feels so wrong. It also feels bad selling things I have paid a lot of money for.

If I was to sell my silver stuff, what should I do with it? It's black. I also have a Cartier ring (makes us sound rich and we are so not!) that my DH bought me years ago before DC, and I have never worn it. What a waste. How can I sell that?

Also, I have some nice rings from places like Swarovski. How do I work out the size so I can sell it?

Am I nuts, or is this the best thin to do? From now on I just want to have less, but better quality. For example, I have a pair of diamond studs and I am now wearing them every day because I just left them in all the time.

Mumsnet is obsessed with clutter and decluttering.

Of course, get rid of anything you don't like and don't need, but there is no specific virtue in goals like 80%.
My way is to allow myself some space (literally) for things which wouldn't survive Mari Kondo test, but I just don't want to get rid of them now.

Yes! Do it!

I did this and felt so good. Yes maybe you paid money for those things but if you’re not using it, what’s its real asset value to you? Recoup 20% of cost and invest it into something you love.

plus imagine all the free space too

This is good advice. I am getting rid of stuff now and finding my head is so much clearer and I am surprisingly more looking forward in life. Stuff clutters up the mind as well as your home.

Replying to the poster that said why can’t you lose weight. Harsh! I’m guessing you’re a skinny mini who’s never had a weight problem. Once you have kids and hit middle age, metabolism and putting everyone before yourself are an issue. Work, location, motivation are all factors too.

I downsized from a large 4 bed house with huge garage to a tiny one bed cottage.

I had to be UTTERLY RUTHLESS but actually I enjoyed it. I stay minimalist and it helps keep my mind uncluttered too.

Every Easter I have an annual declutter just to make sure I am on top of it.

Sell nice stuff on vestiaire collective, I've used it for buying and selling, its ace.
Anything more pedestrian put on ebay

I am SO desperate to do this OP, and yet somehow I simply can't bring myself to let things go. I'm NOT a hoarder, everything in the house has a home, but I just have more stuff than I could ever use. Please let me know if you manage to do it, and more importantly HOW.

Re the weight. Yes I am overweight for me, but it's not a major concern. I am never going to be a size 10 again like in my 20's. I am now a size 14 on top but that is because I have 34FF boobs which seem to keep growing through the menopause, size 12 bottoms, and about a stone and a half overweight IMO.

I know that I eat too much, drink too much booze, and the Mirena coil came with a rubber tyre round the middle. Perimenopause was nearly the ending of me, it really was. At one point I thought I was going to jump off a cliff. I have made good progress addressing it. I am very fit now and am in a good mental place. I've cut back on the trash I eat and hopefully the weight will start to recede, but I am not going on a WW or SW or other diet.

I suppose getting rid of the stuff I am not using is part of all the above. I am in a good mental place. I don't need these things I have accumulated and don't use. I don't need stuff, I need peace and harmony.

Mumsnet is obsessed with clutter and decluttering.

This makes sense when you consider the number of posters who come on asking for advice on how to keep up with housework while working and doing childcare.

So often women find themselves as de-facto household inventory managers, the only ones who notice the piles of outgrown clothes/kids craft/unwanted toys. Regularly you’ll read women saying their MIL brings big bags of stuff ‘for the kids’ and her DH won’t do anything about it. It’s overwhelming, and it’s a household responsibility that often isn’t shared equally. So that’s why the MN advice is often to declutter if you’re feeling overwhelmed - the less stuff you have, the less there is to tidy up.

I desperately need to do the same! For the first time I tried to sell my unwanted clothes.

I sold a dress for £20 on Vinted .
This is how it went.

I went to the PO , was told they don’t work with that package carrier, was sent to a C0-Op , they didn’t either , so then went to the Scot-Mid, to be told I needed to go to the nearest Morrisons
.
I then had to drive to Morrison’s, thought I’d fill up the car. It was my daughter’s, husband was away with ours, it’s a Diesel, hers is a petrol.

Yes.. you guessed it, twat that I am put the wrong fuel in. It broke down on the way home. It’s now in the garage.

My husband hasn’t got a job at the moment, he’s talking about needing to move out of the family home. I had a lot on my mind. It was my day off from work while all this was going on. No excuse really.

I thought I would make some cash by de cluttering / selling . It was a comedy of errors! Just selling stuff on Vinted is not as simple as it looks!

The thought of de cluttering a family home fills me with anxiety.

I can’t help it’s such a waste of money , unless you sell stuff, buts that’s not that easy.

I feel your pain.

The first thing I would do would be to get rid of all clothing and accessories that either no longer fit you or are not compatible with your lifestyle .

Going forward you need to think quite clearly if any new item of clothing will fit in with the lifestyle you actually live .

The silver jewellery I would probably clean up and keep unless you actually need the money you would make from selling it .

If you're fortunate enough to have a few close friends you really love, offer them each something they'd really appreciate and wear, perhaps something they've admired in the past.

I gave an old friend a silver necklace recently that reminded us both of growing up by the coast , she was so thrilled, and even more so because it was something of mine I'd treasured and worn over the years, not just bought straight from a shop.
Likewise a friend of mine gave me a lovely White Stuff skirt in my size that she no longer wears because (good for her) she's lost some weight and dropped a size.
It's lovely to pass on good quality pieces to friends who'll appreciate them.
Equally Vinted can be a good solution, it didn't work for me as I sent stuff out which I was never paid for but I think that was probably my fault misunderstanding how the system works. I have a friend who makes a good income via Vinted so it can work.
Decluttering can be very cathartic as it seems to clear both your mind and living spaces. It's right what Marie Kondo says about only keeping what sparks joy and William Morris who said have nothing in your home that is not either beautiful or useful.
Good luck OP.

Sometimes it's genuine passers by. Found a copy of a book I'd been meaning to read for ages in a box on someone's wall.

Honestly do it! I did this a year ago and I sold all of the clothes that didn't fit on vinted and stuff I didn't wear. I ended up updating my wardrobe to pieces that I wear every day and feel glam in I guess but they fit too so I could see my choices everyday. I got out of this rut of baggy clothes and stuff I would not ever wear. I do it with books and clutter all around my house. I do love the minimalistic look but I also find once I've had a good sort out every 2-3 months I don't buy as much after as I've looked at what I need but also what I've bought and not used.

I am doing a v slow declutter of 8 years of accumulated stuff atm. Things that are working for me include:

• Bag up any clothes, linens and towels that aren't in perfect or vg condition and take them all to a textile recycling, as I can then more easily sort through the good stuff
• Empty kitchen cupboards of old long life food and rarely used items, and list for free on the olio app
• Scan books and DVDs that aren't used/watched on the music magpie app and sell for peanuts knowing they will at least be sold back on and not landfilled (I've also sold them some old tech too)
• Sell a couple of bits of unwanted furniture on fb marketplace (e.g. old wardrobes once I had less stuff, as I've now transitioned to an open hanger/wardrobe to help me sort through the last bits)
• Put any bulky items I wouldn't bother selling on the olio free stuff app too.

Doing all of this has just left me with all the more complex tricky bits to sort or sell now, but means I at least have space to do it in!

I'm a jeweller, we normally charge £20 upwards for a clean and polish of rings. As for selling, we buy gold and silver jewellery by the gram, so you can take it anywhere that will buy it. Xupes is quite good for selling designer pieces (and don't scrap designer silver jewellery, it's worth way over the scrap value).

Marking place for a read later!