AIBU to get rid of 80% of my "stuff".

[TimeForHygge]

I need online counselling to either support or stop me from what I am about to do.

I want to get rid of 80% of my stuff as in; clothes, shoes, bags, jewellery, hats and other things.

I don't have loads and loads of things, but I have a lot of things I am not using. I also have nice things. For example, Ralph Lauren chinos that are 2 sizes too small that I am keeping for when I fit into them. Not worn them for 7 years! Coloured leather gloves that I am never going to wear. A designer bag that is a bit of a mad colour, that I never use. The one I am most embarrassed about is I have a lot of nice silver jewellery that I have never worn, and it is from a very posh shop, and it is all black. I've cleaned it, then it goes black quickly again.

I buy things that I think are nice, but they are not really compatible with my lifestyle, and I don't wear them. I spend my life at work (uniform), or working out (gym gear), doing chores (jeans, casual trainers and top), and the very occasional meal out (smart casual).

I need to lose weight, but feel it is wrong to hang on to my size 10 stuff. Plus, if I was a size 10, I'd probably feel so fabulous, I'd treat myself.

So, AIBU to get rid of all of this stuff? It feels so wrong. It also feels bad selling things I have paid a lot of money for.

If I was to sell my silver stuff, what should I do with it? It's black. I also have a Cartier ring (makes us sound rich and we are so not!) that my DH bought me years ago before DC, and I have never worn it. What a waste. How can I sell that?

Also, I have some nice rings from places like Swarovski. How do I work out the size so I can sell it?

Am I nuts, or is this the best thin to do? From now on I just want to have less, but better quality. For example, I have a pair of diamond studs and I am now wearing them every day because I just left them in all the time.

I just got rid of a lot of stuff, as we are selling our home, mostly clothes and shoes sold on vinted, bigger items sold on facebook, more expensive items sold on ebay. Some items were put out on the kerb with a note to take them (loads of plant pots, excess compost bags, several small shelving units, books, some kids toys, all gone within a day). Enjoy the decluttering! I took very little to charity shops, as I prefer items going to a home that needs them directly.

I started with larger items, to free up space, actual and mental space. Also I kept going through stuff and putting it all in the one designated room, which became a packing and postage room for a while, meaning the rest of the house was getting cleared up even before the things were gone.

Enjoy the decluttering! I took very little to charity shops, as I prefer items going to a home that needs them directly.

I find junk merchants patrolling streets for pavement stuff, which they then sell.

all real silver will polish it will be hallmarked with a lion a date letter and an assay office emblem leopards head for London anchor for Birmingham etc some silver just has .925 this is UK mark for solid silver, anything that has EP/ EPNS/ britannia silver is just silver plated and not silver and if polished too much you can remove all the silver plate then it will be dark underneath, current scrap value of silver is about 50p per gram, if it is not hall marked legally it is not silver

It doesn’t have to be a big wholesale decision. Sell the bag and see how it feels. If it feels right and empowering, sell some jewellery and so on.

You’ll get feedback along the way and are more likely to make considered decisions vs ditching 80% of your stuff as some grand lifestyle change gesture.

Go for it!

With the old clothes in particular, even assuming you do lose the weight, that doesn't mean they're worth keeping. Your body shape and lifestyle won't automatically go back to what they were when you bought them, even if the figure on the scales does.

She might not be.
I know quite a few people who ended in severe debt with all the associated complications of that as a result of chasing a lifestyle they thought they "deserved" but couldn't actually afford...

Who made you the style expert @RoomOfRequirement ? Have you ever heard of the phrase “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all?”

I sold some jewellery at an auction house and said I felt guilty as they were gifts- they advised me to use some of the money to buy one piece that I did love and would wear

You will feel so light afterwards, and any guilt associated with getting rid of stuff will dissipate. I did this recently. One positive outcome was that I discovered how many beautiful clothes I had that I’d forgotten about. I keep some items and wore them over summer. The rest I gave to charity and haven’t looked back. I didn’t have time to eBay stuff. I have realised I really don’t need much stuff.

If you don't use it then yes get rid of it! I used to hold onto things "just in case" or save other things for best, but i had a huge sort out and it felt so good.

3 piles:

Recycle
Donate
Sell

I now have more of a capsule wardrobe with really nice quality pieces I love and it was funded by selling old stuff I didn't ever wear and realistically never would again on Vinted. So much more space, all of my clothes/bags etc get regular wear and I don't feel guilty about buying something new as it'll be because I know what I already have and because I genuinely need it. I did the same with DS' toys (with his help) a few years back and he used the money from the big token items to buy a Switch and loved donating other things and the thought of them having a new lease of life.

I didn't see it as a brag, I'd expect a MN brag would be more around I'm the same size I was in my early 20s and these clothes all fit me too well and look too good shall I get rid of them so others don't feel jealous.

Plenty of people accumulate or acquire a few designer pieces over the years, it doesn't mean they're rich. I know not everyone does, but I have Mulberry bags- I bought one with my first graduate pay packet, another when I got a bonus (haven't had one since...), I've had Chanel earrings and other items as a gift. Growing up in poverty I do have to pinch myself at times that I own stuff like this but it doesn't mean I'm overly rich or have a closet brimming with designer things. Someone who doesn't declutter and has probably kept stuff for several decades it doesn't seem that fanciful.

I really want to do this. I've started but there still seems to be huge amounts of stuff.

My main challenge is DH is a bit of a hoarder.

So as quickly as I get rid of my stuff, he thinks this clears the way for more of his own stuff so nothing feels 'clearer'

I’ve been decluttering for a while now, and it feels so freeing. I was looking at photos the other day and was looking at the all the random things scattered in the background (mostly kids toys but also cushions, blankets, ornaments, clothes) - I honestly don’t miss a single thing. I’ve got rid of hundreds maybe thousands of things- and I can only think of two I ever ‘regretted’ getting rid of. One was something I re-bought for about £6 from Amazon, and one was a skirt I’d had years and never worn, and then the perfect opportunity to wear it came up a month or so after getting rid of it- but I just wore something else and it wasn’t a big deal. In the scheme of how amazing my house feels with so much less in, it was well worth those couple of very minor regrets.

What is it you’re worried about? Is it guilt over the cost of things? I’ve found since getting rid of a lot (I give lots always to charity shops as realised I just needed it out, and selling never worked for me)- I am so much more careful about what I spend money on and bring in- so that initial guilt will give way to better decisions in future.

Get rid of anything you haven't worn in the last year.
Get rid of anything that is faded, needs repairing etc
Get rid of anything, that although nice, is impractical - eg the jewellery that needs cleaning constantly; a bag which doesn't meet your needs
Get rid of anything that is too small. You won't lose weight to fit into it. If you do happen to lose weight in the next year or so you can buy stuff to fit then, which fits in with your new style (as it sounds like you want to change style a bit).

I still have too much stuff but I did do well last year chucking out absolutely loads of things. It either went in the bin if poor quality or went in the charity bin we have in our village.

Decluttering is great, but you don't have to get rid of everything at once.

If it's easier, try decluttering like an onion. Start with top, easier layer. Tben, when you feel more confident, go back and peel of the next layer of clutter.

Repeat until you are satisfied

gosh YANBU

I can't stand clutter, and anything you are not using IS clutter. Anything too small/ too big/ I am not using goes.

Fashion changes, your body shape changes, circumstances change, things get damaged when stored for too long (some shoes disintegrate when forgotten for too long 😂)

If you are not in a rush, you can start selling, and put that money aside to use it for something better. A personal stylist would be a good start, some high street ones have very friendly prices and are geniuses!

A PT, if you wanted to lose weight, someone can help you, even menopause alone does not have to mean putting on weight. You need to change things and adapt, not resigning yourself with something you are not happy with.

I want to look nice though and think I would be better with a few classic things rather than loads of stuff I don't use.
genuinely.. personal stylist, and one of their groups (on facebook for example) to get support from similar people!

I get rid of anything I haven't used in a year and anything I can replace relatively easily every time I move (my moves are always long distance). It's really liberating.

Yes do it!

Don't worry about it being 80%, just start a bit at a time, keep the things you love even if you don't use regularly (for now) and start with the things you really don't love and can't ever see yourself using.

She said loads of things in general and also "some" nice things.

The OP is middle aged, by which time most of us have accumulated a few nice things courtesy of significant birthdays, anniversaries and passed down from relatives.

The problem is by middle age they may not be things we actually want but have the emotional connection to the event or the giver. Its hardly bragging to mention them as difficult to declutter.

I would get rid of clothes you don't wear on Vinted, some designer stuff holds its value quite well. Do your research first and look at sold prices on eBay for jewellery etc. Stuff like the Cartier ring will probably do very well but if you are not going to get near what was paid for that I'd be inclined to keep it....

Do it! If you’re wavering though I’d recommend the half way approach I took. I purged my wardrobe and accessories and put it all in black sacks at the start of last year, anything that was still there when we got the Christmas decs down got donated without a second look. I did it again back in January so am currently hoarding the next batch of stuff that needs to go! 😂

Sell what you can get rid of the rest. Incredibly liberating.