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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to get rid of 80% of my "stuff".

117 replies

TimeForHygge · 13/09/2023 08:18

I need online counselling to either support or stop me from what I am about to do.

I want to get rid of 80% of my stuff as in; clothes, shoes, bags, jewellery, hats and other things.

I don't have loads and loads of things, but I have a lot of things I am not using. I also have nice things. For example, Ralph Lauren chinos that are 2 sizes too small that I am keeping for when I fit into them. Not worn them for 7 years! Coloured leather gloves that I am never going to wear. A designer bag that is a bit of a mad colour, that I never use. The one I am most embarrassed about is I have a lot of nice silver jewellery that I have never worn, and it is from a very posh shop, and it is all black. I've cleaned it, then it goes black quickly again.

I buy things that I think are nice, but they are not really compatible with my lifestyle, and I don't wear them. I spend my life at work (uniform), or working out (gym gear), doing chores (jeans, casual trainers and top), and the very occasional meal out (smart casual).

I need to lose weight, but feel it is wrong to hang on to my size 10 stuff. Plus, if I was a size 10, I'd probably feel so fabulous, I'd treat myself.

So, AIBU to get rid of all of this stuff? It feels so wrong. It also feels bad selling things I have paid a lot of money for.

If I was to sell my silver stuff, what should I do with it? It's black. I also have a Cartier ring (makes us sound rich and we are so not!) that my DH bought me years ago before DC, and I have never worn it. What a waste. How can I sell that?

Also, I have some nice rings from places like Swarovski. How do I work out the size so I can sell it?

Am I nuts, or is this the best thin to do? From now on I just want to have less, but better quality. For example, I have a pair of diamond studs and I am now wearing them every day because I just left them in all the time.

OP posts:
verdantverdure · 13/09/2023 17:27

That must mean he has some awareness, surely? @Catza Unless someone gave it to him?

verdantverdure · 13/09/2023 17:28

Avocadocherry · 13/09/2023 17:19

I have done this. Life changed, old stuff wasn’t really compatible. I did it in a simple way, just made sure everything was well laundered and took it to a dress agency. Each week i’d go in , and there’d be an envelope of cash waiting. Really simple, felt good.

That sounds lovely.

fruitstick · 13/09/2023 17:29

@Catza totally with you.

I do not take kindly to him joking with friends about all my 'shoes and handbags'

When I have less shoes than him! And certainly don't leave them ALL OVER THE HALL FLOOR.

He has 15 coats.

I have 3.

verdantverdure · 13/09/2023 17:30

Lifeomars · 13/09/2023 15:40

I'm in the midst of my third decluttering since I retired. It is so freeing. Got rid of all my work outfits, work bags and shoes. This revved me up to sort through books and jewellery. It all goes to charity as I can't face the hassle of trying to sell stuff. I also put stuff out on the street (household stuff, not clothes) which vanishes almost as soon as I put it out there. I just put a notice on it saying "Free, please help yourself" I live in a poor area so it goes very fast. I once out out a hoover, all in good working order complete as I had replaced it with a cordless one and this lovely man knocked on my door to thank me saying he was broke and needed one and this was like a miracle! Made me feel far better than buying anything ever has.

I love that @Lifeomars! Grin

MissPettigrewIsWFH · 13/09/2023 17:31

Btw - if you clean your silver you can then wrap it in clingfilm to stop it tarnishing!

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 13/09/2023 17:36

#VINTED.
I was interested to read people's thoughts on Vinted.. Are there any threads or websites recommendations with tips (apart from Vinted itself of course, I've had a look)
Like you OP I find decluttering clothes very hard. I've watched all the You Tubes, but I also want to think I will eventually get back into them.

The trouble is I've got no budget to replace them!

and I worry that no one would buy them on Vinted, plus packaging them or people sending them back etc would stress me out. And I don't know where to start

Duechristmas · 13/09/2023 18:06

It's worth nothing in a cupboard or a box

Lilyburnspotts · 13/09/2023 18:19

Yes yes yes - do it! O the Marie kondo method, empty your wardrobe and if it doesn't 'spark joy' put it in a sell pile or charity shop. She's a touch eccentric but her method works for me. There are online shops for selling on designer stuff but there's also vinted which is good because sellers don't pay fees whereas ebay take a chunk and it's deflating! Jewellery you could have melted down and have a jeweller remake it in to something you like? Or sell it.

ScrambledEggForBrains · 13/09/2023 18:20

I decluttered before we moved. It was SO liberating, it felt like a weight was gone from my life

Shellingbynight · 13/09/2023 18:47

I wouldn't keep clothes to 'slim into' unless they are things you absolutely love. I went down three sizes and thought woo - now I can wear... oh. I don't want to wear any of that any more. It was dated/not me.

I declutter in batches now, I'll do a set of drawers or wardrobe every so often. It's very cathartic. I hate cupboards crammed full of clothes (half of them rarely worn) where you can't see what you've got.

I also stopped 'keeping things for best' after reading a thread on here a couple of years ago. I don't have 'best' occasions very often and there were clothes that only saw the light of day two or three times a year - now I wear the 'best' stuff regularly.

IcedPurple · 13/09/2023 19:48

itsmeafterall · 13/09/2023 09:55

Do it!

I did a full kon Marie tidy a few years back. Got rid of 60% of our belongings. So liberating and properly life changing.

The book is well worth a read 'life changing magic of tidying' by Marie Kondo. It might give you the confidence to move forward.

Clothes are the first thing you'd start with anyway and the book helps guide you so that you make sound decisions that you can live with afterwards.

Marie Kondo is brilliant. The 'spark joy' philosophy is wonderful in its simplicity. If the item makes you feel good, keep it. If it doesn't, chuck it. You will just know instinctively. So often we keep items because we feel we 'should'. Because they were gifts, or have sentimental value, or we spent a lot of money on them. But then we resent them everything we see them. Much better to thank them for their service, as Marie suggests in her wonderful Japanese way, and get rid.

Wobblybobb · 13/09/2023 19:59

I joined Vinted yesterday. It’s quite easy, I’ve put 30 items up and sold 12 already! I’ve not made a lot but covered packaging and my wardrobe looks better.. (I brought a pack of 100 packing bags from Amazon for £6. So much easier to pack up!)

Lemmony · 13/09/2023 20:08

It's very liberating OP!

lljkk · 13/09/2023 20:27

Half of me envies OP & half of me thinks she's totally insane.

I hate spending money so that side of me wins... the one that doesn't want to buy something to replace a thing I just got rid of, so I'd never get rid of 80%.

You could parcel off 20%, get rid of that, and see if you want to get rid of 25% of the remainder or not.

Let us know how you get on!?

Pineapplewaves · 13/09/2023 20:33

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 13/09/2023 17:36

#VINTED.
I was interested to read people's thoughts on Vinted.. Are there any threads or websites recommendations with tips (apart from Vinted itself of course, I've had a look)
Like you OP I find decluttering clothes very hard. I've watched all the You Tubes, but I also want to think I will eventually get back into them.

The trouble is I've got no budget to replace them!

and I worry that no one would buy them on Vinted, plus packaging them or people sending them back etc would stress me out. And I don't know where to start

Edited

Go up to the search box and type in "Vinted", lots of posts about it on there that are helpful/interesting.

CreakingBones · 13/09/2023 20:43

I'm terrible for hanging on to "stuff". I did the 30 day declutter challenge from lifealongsidelauren. It's full of useful tips (and free), she also has helpful short clips on how to get declutter without being overwhelmed by it on Instagram etc.
I found it quite useful, but I'm sure there are others out there that will help you also...good luck, I know it's not easy!!!

verdantverdure · 13/09/2023 20:44

lljkk · 13/09/2023 20:27

Half of me envies OP & half of me thinks she's totally insane.

I hate spending money so that side of me wins... the one that doesn't want to buy something to replace a thing I just got rid of, so I'd never get rid of 80%.

You could parcel off 20%, get rid of that, and see if you want to get rid of 25% of the remainder or not.

Let us know how you get on!?

I'd have to do it in chunks too.

Definitely do not want first and kinda conflicted about last.

Approaching · 13/09/2023 21:04

Why do you think you need counselling OP, that's quite an extreme reaction to a fairly normal thing to do (not saying everyone is chucking 80% of what they own, but look at how many TV programmes are currently dedicated to decluttering).

I'm being inspired by this thread to get rid of more old clothes. Even if I lose the weight, I'm not going to lose the years, I'm sure I won't want the same things I wore 10 years ago!

sgtmajormum · 13/09/2023 21:39

Absolutely do it!

I've got rid of about 50% of my stuff so far. It is so much easier to keep my house clean and tidy and I don't miss what is gone.

I started by categories. So get all your shoes together and sort out what to keep/what to get rid of. Sell what you can and give away what you can't, bin anything completely had it.
Clothes either sell on vinted or by weight if uou have anywhere local that does that.
Just keep doing this until you are at a level you are comfortable with. It took me about a year.
I now have a one in one out rule and it keeps the clutter at bay

Upwardtrajectory · 13/09/2023 22:16

For those of you who have done a big de-clutter - have you kept it clear?! Or does it all sneak back in again bit by bit……

verdantverdure · 14/09/2023 04:44

Upwardtrajectory · 13/09/2023 22:16

For those of you who have done a big de-clutter - have you kept it clear?! Or does it all sneak back in again bit by bit……

The process of decluttering changed me.

I still catch myself doing "the scroll " at times but I don't buy like I used to.

I got completely disgusted at my own over consumption and the waste of our planets resources and our money.

Having wardrobe swish space and not breaking hangers trying to cram another thing in is the best.

My whole week's outfits can be laid out IN my wardrobe. I just push what I'm not wearing this week to one side.

The detrimental effect of having unworn items shaking their tags at me or no longer fitting items glaring at me accusingly was something I really underestimated. It's lovely not to have that.

I have to be a bit disciplined. I don't often just spontaneously buy things, I don't buy orphans that don't go with anything I've got, and I don't buy clothes for someone else's life. I try not to buy a new outfit for weddings either. "Worn once for a wedding" was a big waste category for me.

Upwardtrajectory · 14/09/2023 06:27

That’s really inspiring @verdantverdure
I regularly clear things out but I’ve never managed to get things to stay clear. I’ve accepted that with toys because I suppose there will be a natural end point to that but it’s been the way with lots of other things too.
The urge to get a skip and just bin everything ……..

Icanseeahousementionedfrommywindow · 14/09/2023 19:20

I have sold about £2k of stuff on Vinted since June. It is a bit of myth that you dont get decent prices on Vinted- they are about the same as eBay these days. You interact with buyers much more on Vinted and it is massively easier to list on there.

verdantverdure · 14/09/2023 20:30

I wouldn't say it's a myth.

It depends on what you're selling and who's buying it.

isitshe · 14/09/2023 20:57

I could have written this post, so thanks for putting it down OP! I'll be reading replies with interest.

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