To think these things don’t matter and you should save money for dc instead?

[leapgro]

Genuinely interested as to whether it affects them etc.

DC coming up to 1, lots of people having big parties, even balloons costs 20 quid let alone everything else. Hiring venues etc. Same with expensive baby clothes, trips to legoland etc. Surely unless you enjoy this yourself/have enough money to waste, it’s not actually beneficial for the child? Or is it? Am I wrong?

It’s for the parents. And - in the same way as an expensive wedding, flashy car, luxury holiday - people choose to spend their money in different ways. I think that’s the long and short of it.

I think you should do what you want and not be so judgemental.
1st birthday parties are often a celebration of the parents surviving the first year, I don't regret what we spent on DD's at all and I don't care what you think about that.

If those things aren't important to you then don't do it.

It's just personal choice and means nothing to your soon to be one year old.

I get more pleasure looking at the photos of my DC's early birthday activities and remembering the fun we had than an extra £150 in the bank account.

Personally I wish people would stop validating their lives with expenditure on ‘stuff’ that ends up in landfill and depleted finite resources (helium).

@toomuchfaster no need to be so defensive! I was genuinely interested as to whether it affects development/the child. We have money for these things and never do it as I know one day they will want the new trainers, a car, phone etc! There was no judging.

Not beneficial at 1 years old but definitely beneficial to have days out, treats, birthday parties as they get older.
it contributes to a happy childhood doesn’t it and that’s important for mental health and self-esteem?
it would be miserable if your parents cut out fun and treats in favour of just saving for you. And what if you don’t want the things they are saving for (university etc)?
creating happy and fulfilling childhoods is important. How much this costs is up to you but denying your children treats and parties in favour of just saving is very miserable in my opinion

It’s not either / or for most families, who can likely afford a party with balloons and also to feed and clothe their children.

@CuteCillian fair point!

People can have a party if they’re able to afford one - it’s for the parents but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing.

Why is Legoland lumped in here? I can understand it’s not necessary for a baby but it’s great for older ones (or adults if you like theme parks) just from a fun pov, and also good for inspiring kids to play with Lego.

At this age it’s a party for the parents. Which is absolutely fine, but dressing it up as “Ohh the baby loves Bluey, let’s have a Bluey themed party!” makes me rage. See also, ££££ on a party and gifts and then “Hey does anyone know how me or hubs can make a bit more money this month, we’re a bit skint between now and Christmas”.

So no, I wouldn’t, but unless it’s causing hardship I think you politely smile and leave them to it.

@BHRK yes I am only referring to the first 18 months to two years. Obviously a two year old can experience things more broadly.

Your kid - do what you want and don’t judge others who do what they want.

If you want a simple party - awesome.

Big parties are better when they are around 6 IMO, when they’ll actually appreciate it and it helps you meet other parents and build friendships.

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing legoland, Alton towers, etc anything like that really… doesn’t seem beneficial for a one year old? I agree they are great places in general!

Experiences such as a birthday party, day out to Legoland or wherever = yes, they’re important experiences. But you don’t have to spend X amount for them to be meaningful.

Designer clothes for babies are a total waste of time and a mug’s game.

I was genuinely interested as to whether it affects development/the child.

Surely anyone can figure that out for themselves, doesn't take a genius...

If you don’t want to, then don’t 🤷🏼‍♀️
I get a lot of joy out of doing these things for my child, her recent birthday party cost over £500, we can afford it and didn’t have to sacrifice anything else to pay for it. That’s my right, same as it’s your right to not do it?

And then people will judge you for wasting money on branded trainers and 'phones. How is that contributing to a child or teenagers development or beneficial to them? Surely you shouldn't encourage such consumerism and buy into brands and trends?

So maybe it would be good if everyone stopped judging.

A party is for the parents. For many it can be about surviving the first year or just feeling like socialising after the haze of a newborn starts to lift. I’m toying with the idea of a birthday party for DDs 2nd birthday, not that she’ll know what it is for or get any benefit from it but because I want an excuse to have my family together and celebrate. I think we won’t have a party because we have some other stuff going on and we don’t have the time or energy to organise a party.

As for doing activities, we took DD somewhere she’d love for her first birthday. She didn’t realise it was for her birthday but she had a great day. She picked a teddy from the shop and she sleeps with it every single night.

A lot of parenting is a slog so no, I cant get worked up about families trying to enjoy having a child.

Nobody has kids to save money.

You don't have to do any of those things.
Just do enough so your dc feels loved and secure and doesn't feel like they're missing out.
We only ever did small birthday parties after school. Like a big play date with their closest friends where we had food, cake and games.
I saved money, yes but to spend it on different things like holidays, weekends away, clubs and tuition.

Each to their own. Some people love hosting and will happily spend on a big party but not in other areas. I wouldn’t have the balloons/decor due to environmental impact alone but can’t deny it looks good. Children love parties and I wouldn’t be able to host them at home so hiring a hall/venue is essential. We don’t do it for every birthday but it’s worth it at least once for them to have the experience

Days out such as Legoland are very much for the kids! I can’t think of anything I want to do less than spend hours traipsing around and standing in queues but they love it and want to see the models and rides so do it for them. I would much rather they have the experience than spend the money on buying lunches at work/ordering a couple of takeaways that month

Of course it's not beneficial for a baby, it's for the parents, and, as you said, it's ok if they can afford it.

However, planning ahead, we spent as little money as possible on the kids when they were younger, even though we could have afforded to, mainly because they didn't care about stuff (bought what we could from car boot sales etc), but also so that we could save money for when they were older and wanted more expensive stuff like trainers and phones.

I agree, OP. I thought there was a COL crisis!

First birthdays...other than family, who is interested? We just had cake and grandparents.

I do wonder, as an older person, how so many people - not just the well-off - manage to afford all these American-style celebrations which never existed when my children were young (or I was!).

Eg: Hen dos away, Engagement dos, Hollywood-style weddings, Gender Reveal, Baby Showers, First Birthdays - to name but a few. How on earth do people afford them??

I’m not sure a one year old would get much from Legoland either!

I guess it would just be if the parents like it, and the baby would go along with them.