To think these things don’t matter and you should save money for dc instead?

[leapgro]

Genuinely interested as to whether it affects them etc.

DC coming up to 1, lots of people having big parties, even balloons costs 20 quid let alone everything else. Hiring venues etc. Same with expensive baby clothes, trips to legoland etc. Surely unless you enjoy this yourself/have enough money to waste, it’s not actually beneficial for the child? Or is it? Am I wrong?

I think it depends what you get out of it. We organised a 3rd birthday party at a big venue. New to the neighbourhood it helped us get to know lots of people and make friends.

There are however expensive toys we would have been OK without. But people are addicted to buying.

I didn’t have a big party for either of mine for their first. But I still get laughed at for thinking lasagne was a typical safe food for 1 yos 😂

Why shouldn’t a parent spend their money on something they enjoy?

Now I see you mean all these things for a one year old! If parents can afford it and want to, then why not?! Particularly the parties, it’s for the adults to celebrate and enjoy

I definitely wouldn’t bother taking them to Legoland that young in the absence of a sibling, nothing for them to enjoy and we are too old for it! Most people used to go to a farm when my DC turned 1 but we didn’t bother with that either, just took them to local soft play!

I don't think you are 'genuinely interested' in those things at all but to take you at your word, no, as you know perfectly well the expensive trappings of a party such as balloons etc are not necessarily beneficial to child development. What is beneficial for both the child and the parents is to grow up with a solid, supportive network of friends and extended family, and one thing that people like to do with such a network is to celebrate landmark events.

As you will be well aware, the first year of new parenthood is really hard. A first birthday party is as much a celebration of the parents' achievement and opportunity to thank the people who have supported them as it is an enjoyable experience for the birthday boy or girl.

I think if you are spending serious coin on a young Childs birthday but have no savings for them, you're an idiot.
If you have thousands in the bank but your child never has treats at their birthday then you are miserable.
As always, balance is key.
I'm not sure it affects development as such, but it's like saying the only reason to learn anything is to pass an exam. What's wrong with just finding the joy in it? YOLO etc..

Nobody has kids to save money.
This is so true @BrawnWild 🤣

We are considering a 2nd birthday party for DD and I'm considering getting her the Legoland toddler pass (she gets in free but if she has the pass, I get in free, too). As she's our youngest, part of the reason we do things with DD is so DS gets to do them, too.

Life would be pretty shit if we only did things that benefit our child’s development. Doing things for the sheer joy of doing it is a valid use of time and money.

Whilst babies and young children won’t remember the experiences, it is good for overall brain development to expose young children to lots of stimuli and different experiences. Kids who aren’t fare worse psychologically as older children and adults.

It doesn’t mean you have to spend over the odds for a first birthday party by any means but trips to legoland, why not if you have the money to do so? The parties are more for the parents at that age of course but it’s lovely to have the photographs to look back on when they’re grown.

Life. Is. Too. Short.

Have the party, have the days out, have experiences. Spend your time having fun. Life is for living, children aren't children for long.

Sure save your money instead but there's no guarantee any of us will reach the point where we get to spend those savings.

I've had friends who have lost children, and let me tell you, they'd rather have spent money on the things that you think is a waste of time and money and had those experiences with their children than have a few hundred pounds more in the bank.

It's hard to seperate the "thing" from the dynamic of the family.

So a party and balloons probably aren't important to a baby, but having family around them and opportunities for the family to stay connected to them definitely are.

They might not remember a trip to Legoland, but there's a value in being part of a family that enjoy spending time together and the habit of days out is likely to last to an age where it does impact them.

I didn't have big parties or days out when my dc were little as we couldn't afford it, but I can understand why people would choose to spend money on things that the whole family takes pleasure in. A baby definitely benefits from being part of a happy family group.

There are millions of families in the U.K. who are not struggling at all. There’s a two-year waiting list for the latest Lotus and latest Range Rover, it’s difficult to get a table at good restaurants, and there will be an awful lot of British people in St Barts this summer and St Moritz this winter.

I bet you're fun at parties OP...oh wait!

I would say that everything that happens to you as a baby goes into the melting pot of making you who you are. So maybe a 1st birthday party with lots of people and balloons is a great way of becoming sociable and beginning to know who your family are for example.

All I would say is people shouldn't feel they OUGHT to do these things but they also shouldn't feel they oughtn't if they want to.

One of the things that i initially struggled with as a parent was its ok to do things for me.

Big parties and balloons arent my idea of fun, but if the parent organising gets joy from that experience then thats good. We only live once and the early years are short. its not going to harm the baby.

My parents never took me anywhere and I didn’t even go to a theme park till I was an adult. I had no problem with it as a youngun but looking back I think it did shape my personality as I am a real stick in the mud now and happier to stay home

Come off it! There was LOTS of judging. You know we can tell that by how you wrote it don’t you?

why do you care what other people spend their money on?? That sort of thing wasn’t for me but each to their own.

@berksandbeyond i didn’t say it wasn’t.

@DonnaBanana that’s interesting, a friend said similar. We’ve only been to local places and never anywhere bigger with dc yet.

In an ideal world we would have our ds first birthday party at home with minimal fuss but our home isn't big enough to accommodate the number of people we need to invite as we both have large immediate families who we're very close to. So renting a venue is the easiest thing for us to do. We don't bother with expensive baby clothes but we do take ds on trips because being out and about is still great exposure stimulation and learning for him. Yabu on judging how people choose to spend their income, it's up to them what their budget allows. Some people will be hit harder than others by col crisis. Plus you've no idea if those fancy baby clothes are second hand... we've a few fancy bits that were gifted to ds cousins originally and he since grew out of but they're new to us.

@GalileoHumpkins 😂 I like to think I am! Though have no experience of one year old parties…yet

I do think parents go OTT and personally try and be more sensible, but my 4 year old still vividly remembers his third birthday party and talks about how much he enjoyed it, so I think it was a wise investment.

I think first birthday parties, which could be easily passed off as vacuous and unnecessary, can be an opportunity to gather all the family and friends together and be part of building a supportive village around your child and thanking those who may have made life easier in the last year.

These are the kind of shared moments, the soft skills and moments in nurturing a community, and drawing people in together.
It's up to you how much you value that.

How can anyone genuinely think any of it would actually be for the 1 one year old themselves?

Sure have it or not but it is for the adults not the birthday child at that age

Mine too! We took him to Thomas Land for his third birthday and he has been talking about it ever since! In fact, he's decided that we need to take his baby brother to Thomas Land for his third birthday too as it's the only acceptable celebration apparently 🥳