To think that having a bbq on a Saturday afternoon is perfectly acceptable?

[fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft]

I live on a new build estate and a group of neighbours have for,ed a nice friendship group. On Saturday afternoon one of the group hosted a small bbq , planned from 3-9. There were 10 of us to begin with but people drifted off . We were sat around a table in the garden, the Alexa speaker on the doorstep playing the radio but not loudly as we were all chatting.

At 7pm a bloke appeared at the back gate to say he was trying to get his 1 year old to bed and would we turn the music off. We did but continued to sit in the garden .

At 8 pm a post appeared on the community Facebook page saying that people having bbqs were selfish and had no regard for parents trying to put their little,ones to bed in weather we were not equipped for and with no option to close their windows .

I responded simply saying peaceful enjoyment of your own garden is not prohibited, that yes they did have an option to close the windows and this was the first bbq my friends have had in the 2 years they've lived there , that we weren't exactly having a rave , that we all have or had children, that having kids doesnt give you autonomy to tell others what to do and that if they didn't want to hear other people living on an estate wasnt a good idea.
I also said we were planning on moving inside the house at 9pm
Then the insult's started. I did respond (I know I shouldn't have) saying perhaps if anyone had an issue they could come and knock on the door and discuss it like adults instead of being keyboard warriors.someone
Posted a copy of the councils nuisance noise policy ( which ironically showed night hours to be between 11pm and 7am ! ) this was 8 pm

More insults . Gifs with popcorn . Someone said " i suggest you blah blah blah blah blah .
I lost it . I said I suggest you fuck off before I turn the music back on

Today the whinging post had been removed

What the fuck is wrong with people ? It was a sedate afternoon bbq consisting of 10 people aged 35 ~ 50, not an all night rave !
Aibu ?

We were not being antisocial in any way in our conduct

Yes I was cross and shouldn't have replied to the Facebook goaders

And thanks for the ageism ! I think you are allowed to be friends with people of different ages. I have other friends raging from mid 20s to mid 70s

It's not really an age thing . It's about how well we get along as a group .since I've become single my social life has got so much wider and better.

It’s not a huge deal. But great that you have a fun group of friends. I think the guy was just hot, exhausted and sounding off.

Good luck

You are definitely not being unreasonable. In any way. Give as good as you get. World doesn't revolve around someone else's kids. They'll get their own back when they are teenagers anyway.

I'm wondering if you live in the new build estate near me! Where the residents have gripes over the slightest thing! Is it something to do with new builds? Folk mortgaged up to their eyeballs living in 5 bedroomed yet tiny "executive" houses, living in each others pockets and expecting to all be besties?

Regardless, YANBU, a one off BBQ and drinks with a few friends as a one off is absolutely fine.

You sound like a selfish idiot.
Having a bbq so no other neighbours can open their windows on a hot evening, listening to music and talking loudly and then being rude and aggressive when they post about it. Sort yourself out.

Op, I do suspect your friends were laughing and egging you on to your face, but will be utterly cringing behind your back

it does come across like you are overly excited to have some friends.and maybe you went too far. It wasn’t even your house, half the group had left, and you were the only one telling a neighbour to fuck off like some teenage lad on the drink.

There's nothing untoward about a Saturday night BBQ or playing the radio in one's garden of a weekend.

Oh ffs. People need to get over themselves. My neighbour is single and has friends over with music well after my kids are asleep. It’s annoying but I don’t doubt my kids out playing aren’t much fun for her.

Live and let live

You know how Canada Goose jackets went from slightly exclusive to their new target audience now?
Well...

Other people ruin everything?

YANBU. I hate this narrative that people need to walk on egg shells in their own gardens now to appease the moany bastards next door. We have bbqs with lots of people round, we also host Christmas with lots of people. I love it! Sure we’re probably a bit noisy but we’re talking 3-4 times a year. Let people live!!!!!

YANBU for the BBQ. We love on an estate and have kids screeching and screening, footballs hitting fences, socialising in gardens, grass cutting first thing in the morning, DIY and the whole nine yards (and we are guilty for some of these things too)… it’s just part and parcel of living in close proximity and at some point each and every person on your estate and mine will make noise, it’s inevitable… People need to get a grip and live and let live!

I get they have small children, but that was their choice and their choice alone, like moving near other people was too. Unless you are making excessive noise or noise is outside of reasonable hours then it is what it is.

mad for the responding on FB, I get totally why you did it and I would have had to sit bloody firmly on my hands to not do so myself in this situation, but it’s best not to engage with idiots… I have this photo saved to my phone to remind me why I don’t!! Although does sound like they might have thought better of their actions since….

I love that photo I'm pinching it 😂

YANBU

Normal behaviour for summer. I have 4 young children and wouldn't care at all about a BBQ next door even at 9/10pm.

My Plymouth Bretheren neighbours wheel their piano outside on the patio and play Jesus songs til 2am, and don’t stop until they decide they are done, even if asked politely to be quiet.

Once the response was ‘we have friends over from New Zealand’. At 2am I didn’t care if they were from Mars, I wanted them to kindly stfu & burn their piano.

Shame, they sounded like fun!

What on earth is selfish about having a bbq in the nice weather fgs ! Nothing selfish about having a bbq and enjoying time with friends it was early evening and the neighbours could open windows if they had wanted … she doesn’t control the temperature in their house and you don’t have to be silent just because your neighbour has a baby- that’s there problem to deal with … she was going about normal life not having a rave at 4am.

We often attend or have barbecues on a Saturday afternoon, it’s the best day because for most of us there’s no work in the morning. We never had any complaints from neighbours. We also have children with us, staying up a little later than normal as it’s usually a family event. By the way none of us go on Facebook, it’s done more damage to mental health and causes more aggro than anything.

Your first reply sounds perfectly polite and reasonable OP. They had no right to complain in the first place, you did what they asked, you turned the music down and weren’t exactly causing a riot.

I hope you remember who the man was because the next time he has an event I would be right round complaint about his music and posting on Facebook about him 😆

I think we must live in the same place, totally sounds like our Facebook page too. I don’t think you were being unreasonable, I think get the BBQ out again next weekend!!!

Not a thing wrong with it!! Generally they are done on SAT or Sunday afternoon. I'm a mom and grandma and they were way out of line . 11pm , ok complain?! But 7 or 8? That's ridiculous!

In our congested suburban living we have to give and take, expect noise and try to get our little ones used to it. There have always been some loud celebrations going on somewhere different times...quiet calming alexa on, dark room with a lamp on, fan on...Doesn't sound like UWBU at all, very considerate actually. We all have get together in gardens and council rules state times, how loud music and how often. When their DC is a bit older and they want friends round they will realise.

TBH if I was acting in a perfectly reasonable way, as the OP was, and had to put up with bullshit like that, I’d start playing Highway to Hell cranked all the way up to 11. Give him something to really complain about. what’s the worst that can happen? A copper comes round to ask you to turn it down?

Never mind the ins and outs of the law and the regulations about noise.
The starting point is someone is unhappy, and the response is fuck you I am allowed to do what makes me happy.
Jesus.