To think that having a bbq on a Saturday afternoon is perfectly acceptable?

[fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft]

I live on a new build estate and a group of neighbours have for,ed a nice friendship group. On Saturday afternoon one of the group hosted a small bbq , planned from 3-9. There were 10 of us to begin with but people drifted off . We were sat around a table in the garden, the Alexa speaker on the doorstep playing the radio but not loudly as we were all chatting.

At 7pm a bloke appeared at the back gate to say he was trying to get his 1 year old to bed and would we turn the music off. We did but continued to sit in the garden .

At 8 pm a post appeared on the community Facebook page saying that people having bbqs were selfish and had no regard for parents trying to put their little,ones to bed in weather we were not equipped for and with no option to close their windows .

I responded simply saying peaceful enjoyment of your own garden is not prohibited, that yes they did have an option to close the windows and this was the first bbq my friends have had in the 2 years they've lived there , that we weren't exactly having a rave , that we all have or had children, that having kids doesnt give you autonomy to tell others what to do and that if they didn't want to hear other people living on an estate wasnt a good idea.
I also said we were planning on moving inside the house at 9pm
Then the insult's started. I did respond (I know I shouldn't have) saying perhaps if anyone had an issue they could come and knock on the door and discuss it like adults instead of being keyboard warriors.someone
Posted a copy of the councils nuisance noise policy ( which ironically showed night hours to be between 11pm and 7am ! ) this was 8 pm

More insults . Gifs with popcorn . Someone said " i suggest you blah blah blah blah blah .
I lost it . I said I suggest you fuck off before I turn the music back on

Today the whinging post had been removed

What the fuck is wrong with people ? It was a sedate afternoon bbq consisting of 10 people aged 35 ~ 50, not an all night rave !
Aibu ?

I agree with you OP, you've done nothing wrong. I saw a Facebook post recently complaining about music being played in one of the gardens on our street. The poster complained they were trying to get their dc to sleeps. The music offenders live next door to me. It really wasn't loud and they have a pre schooler and reception aged child themselves - so music is never on late.

I really wanted to post back that we have to listen to their kids screech most days. The sound goes right through you. It think it was the way the post was written - so entitled - that got my back up. Plus my neighbours are lovely.

I didn't respond to the post though because I'm a wimp 😆

Why should they move inside on a nice evening?
I certainly wouldn't - I have a garden because I want to enjoy nice evenings in it, not sit and look at it from inside because the person next door has kids.

Having kids was their choice, not having air conditioning was their choice. YANBU.

Neighbours from hell are the one thing cheering us up when it's pouring with rain and we can be spared the drunken shouting and loud music.

It's not "a bbq on a Saturday", it's a loud party that no-one really wants to have to hear going on for hours!

It was 7pm on a Saturday evening ffs.

I didn't respond to the post though because I'm a wimp

you’re not a wimp, you have an awareness (perhaps unconsciously) that gobbing off on Facebook is futile and does bugger all apart foster negative relationships with people you have to live near.

Over something most people would have calmed down about and forgotten by now.

that had been going on all afternoon, and the neighbours had no way of knowing how long they planned on drinking with the loud music!

Good on him to politely asking them to turn it down.

It' s irrelevant if the neighbour has young children or not, everyone is entitled to peaceful enjoyment of their home, it's selfish, rude and inconsiderate to make yourself a nuisance for others.

You don't need "Alexa" to have a bbq!

This was the first outdoor event we've had in 2 years tho , surely even those with young children sit in the garden and talk ?

It really really wasn't a loud party . We aren't young kids , we're mid 30s to me the oldest at 51.

We did everything we were asked , turned the music off at 7 and went inside at 9,

What's the point in having a garden, a bbq or friends if you can't occasionally enjoy them on a weekend day when most people don't have to get up,for,work next day

The street is full of kids and they can be super noisy . I wouldn't write a fb post complaining about them though!

BTW, you enjoying yourself in the garden with a barbecue, drinks and music can mean that your neighbour has to put up with the smell of the barbecue, noise of music and loud people, when they might want a quiet relaxing time in their garden. Neither party is being horrible, they want different things.

If it was a weekly event through the summer, I would agree. But as a one off event, I’d put up and shut up.

omg, let it go. Why are you so determined to hang on to this?

You pissed off someone then they pissed you off. The end.

It really really wasn't a loud party . We aren't young kids , we're mid 30s to me the oldest at 51

maybe one of you has a grating, obnoxious voice/laugh/opinions - who knows. It’s done now.

Ok the end . I was curious about others opinion and chat on the forum is what makes it work , I thought posting was the idea , if we did t post man would,don't make much money now would it

I'll get me coat.

Ffs typos

Yes, but it’s not much of a chat if your contribution is just repeating the same line over and over again.

Funny how this never seems to apply when it's kids shrieking during others' preferred quiet time.

Honestly OP you’re onto a losing battle. This is Mumsnet where everyone expects everyone else to live in complete silence 24/7 and even so much as farting in your garden is loud and anti social. I think a lot of people on here are just downright miserable and entitled and should probably see their GP to get some help with their noise sensitivity issues.

I think the difference is kids make noise just being kids living their kids lives in their gardens.

There are loads of things that are different when kids do them in comparison to adults.

People can still be annoyed but most people would think they weren't deliberately trying to be antisocial or piss off neighbours.

Parties and barbecues are different surely? Yes neighbours might be accused of being unreasonable being pissed off but there's a definite difference between kid noise and adult noise. The planning, control and intent for a start.

Literally just been reading another thread doing precisely that.

as I tell my dd - not everyone wants to hear what you’ve got to say. Applicable to adults and children alike I’d say.

Just adults have access to the internet to bitch about it 🤷‍♀️

You may not have thought you were noisy, but to someone sitting there peacefully it was a different story. Apart from the stench of BBQ 🤢 I wouldn’t mind if I knew when it would end, that’s the thing that gives me stress. It’s been hot & tempers are raised, I know I really let rip at a neighbour last week. Although there have been many issues over a long period of time.

If it's sweltering and the sun's up then windows closed, curtains drawn is the best way to keep cool. So they're talking out of their arse if it was sweltering where you are.

People who have barbecues in estates that are built really close together (most new build estates tbh) do piss me off though, along with burning rubbish. It is antisocial when everyone has washing out and windows open. drove me nuts when I lived in a house on one as it was a regular occurrence. I moved, problem solved!

And to think I felt bad about the time I finally snapped and shouted out of the window at 4am to tell next doors drunk teenager to SHUT UP. This was after 18 months of being woken up every fortnight by her and drunk mates hollering up and down the street with music booming and taxi's coming and going.

OP, they were being unreasonable, but probably at the end of their tether with a small child. Ignore them and BBQ on. Just careful if drink is flowing that you're not all overly loud, laughing and screeching more than you realise.

The stench of BBQ

...is delicious.

I’m confused by this idea that people are entitled to make a racket in their garden but other people aren’t entitled to peace and quiet. How does that work?

is it a numbers thing? If one person had been being noisy and ten people had complained would that be different?

Were there any males present or females only? Id like to be he wouldnt have mouthed off at a man like that.