Page 7 | HOLIDAY/BIRTH CERT CRISIS 😩

OHFUCKCRAP · 2023-09-10T18:44:00+00:00

Name changed incase anyone can link me to previous posts. IM PANICKING. me and my dd age 7 are due to go abroad in 2.5 weeks. We have different surnames and I’m seperated from her father. Got his permission to take her out the country and he’s going to provide a letter no problem. On the gov website it says I need her birth certificate to prove I’m her mother. Lovely ! Collect it from my stepdad (he keeps all my important documents always has done) and he’s fucking LAMINATED it 😩😩😩 so god knows what they are going to do if they ask for it. I go back on the gov website to order a new one that is posted the next working day. AMAZING. Only I’m putting in her details TIME AND TIME again and nothing is coming up. Can’t even find her on the GRO index. I’ve rambled and I’m sorry but WHAT DO I DO NOW?!! She has had a very shit year and if they turn us away her heart will break 😩😩😩

bellac11 · 10/09/2023 22:09

I dont get this father's surname angst

It also makes no logical sense to push marriage (as is often the case on this site) and say this is why you should give the child your own name if unmarried, implying that you only give the father's surname if married?. Given that there is no obligation to change your name on marriage, you either end up with mum, dad and child with different surnames or mum, dad and child with father's surname (given the general trend is that wives take their husbands surname).

Bizarre.

JudgeJ · 10/09/2023 22:11

OHFUCKCRAP · 10/09/2023 20:06

I’ve just looked online and it doesn’t look as easy as the others are kindly saying. I’m not attempting it

Does the laminated certificate contain the registration details, I think that there are two numbers, Volume and Page, you have these then the GRO website is fairly straight forward, you'll need to register for an account and I think that the certificates are £11, I bought one recently.

If you can't find the registration on the BMD website try slight variations in the spelling, very occasionally there are errors.

Flufferz · 10/09/2023 22:12

As someone who has worked for UK immigration for over 10 years it being laminated will not be a problem. Not carrying the birth certificate will not be a problem. Your kid is old enough for us to ask her questions if we had any reason to believe she is being trafficked. However as an alternative you could bring your marriage/divorce paperwork showing your name change. Or a letter from her dad signed alongside a photocopy of his passport to match the signature to.

TheStoryof10 · 10/09/2023 22:13

In my experience, with the plastic and the machine that i use, the laminate is stuck to the paper. A sheet of laminate sticks to each side of the paper. If you manage to peel apart the laminate, then the paper will also part ways with itself, attched to two separate pieces of plastic. That's my experience, I'm just adding it in so that op knows that it doesn't always work the way people are advising. It might work for her, but it might not just be as easy as cutting and sliding out as others have suggested.

PeopleAreWeird · 10/09/2023 22:16

Yes they can and do and should.

Its for the safety of children - Child trafficking

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 10/09/2023 22:19

Crisis? Really?

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 10/09/2023 22:19

icklehels · 10/09/2023 20:42

A teaching assistant here. Depending on the laminator the plastic could very well be stuck to the certificate and take the print off. DO NOT TRY AND REMOVE IT!!!

Also a teaching assistant and am glad someone else has said this! I've never once had stuff slide back out after laminating even when the lamination hasn't held, the paper has always been stuck to the pouch. There's no way I'd risk trying it!

Wowokthanks · 10/09/2023 22:19

You call up the central number, they hold all birth certs, I needed to get copies of mine, DDs and my mums to get our passports, they sent them next day.

Don't panic, just call up and they're really helpful

girljulian · 10/09/2023 22:24

OHFUCKCRAP · 10/09/2023 21:50

you know I don’t need to explain why but considering the VIPERS are out in full force tonight I think I’ll let you know why my lovely stepdad has my important documents.

i do know the reason why he laminated it, my dds dad isn’t a very nice man nor is he a very nice father. that man beat me black and blue, tore every single thing I had into peices. Clothes, documents, photos EVERYTHING. I left with nothing. my wonderful stepdad to protect it from him laminated the last copy of my DDs birth certificate so it couldn’t be destroyed by that monster. I’ve now asked him until I get a safe to keep everything important for me. I left my ex the day after he did this.

so I’m sorry if some of you like to use that against me but there is the reason. I’m not strange, ridiculous nor do I thrive on drama.

some of you need to learn to be kind and realise not everyone has a perfect situation

thank you to the kind ones who helped and have reassurance. I’m going to leave this thread as it’s become way to personal

So all the more reason she shouldn't have his name then? He might be her father but he's obviously not her dad as much as you're her mum!

girljulian · 10/09/2023 22:26

bellac11 · 10/09/2023 22:09

I dont get this father's surname angst

It also makes no logical sense to push marriage (as is often the case on this site) and say this is why you should give the child your own name if unmarried, implying that you only give the father's surname if married?. Given that there is no obligation to change your name on marriage, you either end up with mum, dad and child with different surnames or mum, dad and child with father's surname (given the general trend is that wives take their husbands surname).

Bizarre.

Because it's not pushing marriage -- the idea is that you end up splitting from your temporary bloke, you and your child have the same name. If you marry him and take his name, you can change child's name if you want. If not, you and child still have the same name. How is that hard?

NothingTraLaLa · 10/09/2023 22:27

Certain countries in Africa definitely require you to show a child’s birth certificate before they let you leave, whether or not the child is travelling with both parents (an anti-trafficking measure). We were stuck behind a family who didn’t have all the paperwork (properly authenticated letter from non-travelling parent) and it was touch and go as to whether they’d be allowed to proceed. They just about managed it in the end with phone calls to the non-travelling parent but it was a bit hairy for them! Anyway, always best to check entry requirements rather than assume that you don’t need anything more than a passport.

boozeclues · 10/09/2023 22:30

They won’t check. Imagine how many single mums etc go on holiday with their kids.

I am unmarried (by choice) and even went to dubai with my partner and our son - all different surnames - and it’s apparently illegal for unmarried couples to share a hotel room - zero fuss

unclench dear

Thisismynewusername1 · 10/09/2023 22:31

girljulian · 10/09/2023 22:26

Because it's not pushing marriage -- the idea is that you end up splitting from your temporary bloke, you and your child have the same name. If you marry him and take his name, you can change child's name if you want. If not, you and child still have the same name. How is that hard?

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Why is it so essential to have the same name?

some people choose not to.

some people marry, split, remarry, take new blokes name and still end up with different names to their kids.

it’s not a problem.

CherryMaDeara · 10/09/2023 22:36

OHFUCKCRAP · 10/09/2023 21:56

The man was a perfect partner up until that flip out! He is her dad I will not justify why she has his last name. Jesus Christ

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Nothing says dc should get their dad’s surname.

As resident parent, dd should have your surname.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 10/09/2023 22:37

Bring a few extras like her red book etc is that has your name, do you have abank acc for her on your phone? You should be fine.

I just flew to Spain with two children, on my own one a friends child, and no one asked me if I wa related to him. Was surprised after that they let me (but he's 10 and they did ask him a couple of questions about his holiday so maybe that was a friendly way to work out if he was scared or not?)

Thisismynewusername1 · 10/09/2023 22:39

CherryMaDeara · 10/09/2023 22:36

Nothing says dc should get their dad’s surname.

As resident parent, dd should have your surname.

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Why?

a child can have any name you choose to give them.

there’s no rule about “should” have any name. Nothing says they should have the resident parents name. That’s just your opinion.

Original poster

OHFUCKCRAP · 10/09/2023 22:40

girljulian · 10/09/2023 22:24

So all the more reason she shouldn't have his name then? He might be her father but he's obviously not her dad as much as you're her mum!

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What more needs explaining fgs!!!!! She has her dads surname like MILLIONS of other children with unmarried parents also like myself! Also like my brothers. Her surname isn’t an issue to me she loves her dad as he was a wonderful dad up until he did what he did!!!!! I will not explain any further. There really is some nasty people on this site.

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Original poster

OHFUCKCRAP · 10/09/2023 22:42

CherryMaDeara · 10/09/2023 22:36

Nothing says dc should get their dad’s surname.

As resident parent, dd should have your surname.

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HE WAS A RESIDENT PARENT !!!!

he is her father. She is half of him!!!! You do not get to judge ANYONE or tell them what name their child should have. it’s not unusual for children to have their fathers last name for Christ sake.

OP posts:

Original poster

OHFUCKCRAP · 10/09/2023 22:44

girljulian · 10/09/2023 22:26

Because it's not pushing marriage -- the idea is that you end up splitting from your temporary bloke, you and your child have the same name. If you marry him and take his name, you can change child's name if you want. If not, you and child still have the same name. How is that hard?

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i find this so bizarre. Just give it a rest Ffs

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Iwasafool · 10/09/2023 22:44

QualityNeverGoesOutOfStyle · 10/09/2023 19:51

I'm not separated but my toddler and I have different surnames. I've travelled solo plenty of times with him and have never been asked for a birth cert. They shouldn't be able to ask you for one just on the basis of having different surnames!

It is to protect children from being abducted. If you had a child abducted abroad in your family you would understand how important this is. It is disappointing that children aren't being protected. They should also check the other parent has agreed to it, again a parent going abroad with a child and you never see them again is a nightmare. It isn't just the surname though, even if you have the same surname they should check. The children who were abducted in my family were abducted by a parent without the consent of the other parent. It is heartbreaking.

Original poster

OHFUCKCRAP · 10/09/2023 22:45

Iwasafool · 10/09/2023 22:44

It is to protect children from being abducted. If you had a child abducted abroad in your family you would understand how important this is. It is disappointing that children aren't being protected. They should also check the other parent has agreed to it, again a parent going abroad with a child and you never see them again is a nightmare. It isn't just the surname though, even if you have the same surname they should check. The children who were abducted in my family were abducted by a parent without the consent of the other parent. It is heartbreaking.

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I totally agree with things being checked.

I’m sorry to hear about you’re family, that’s honestly my worst nightmare

OP posts:

Original poster

OHFUCKCRAP · 10/09/2023 22:47

Decided, to stop the arguments. She will not have the name of any parent

She is now

PRINCESS CONSUELA BANANA-HAMMOCK THE SECOND

hope it makes you all happy x

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EconomyClassRockstar · 10/09/2023 22:49

I don't have the same surname as my children and I haven't once been asked for a birth certificate, permission from a parent, anything! I just travel.

EconomyClassRockstar · 10/09/2023 22:50

But if you're going to rock a name, you might as well rock that one!

Iwasafool · 10/09/2023 22:50

Flufferz · 10/09/2023 22:12

As someone who has worked for UK immigration for over 10 years it being laminated will not be a problem. Not carrying the birth certificate will not be a problem. Your kid is old enough for us to ask her questions if we had any reason to believe she is being trafficked. However as an alternative you could bring your marriage/divorce paperwork showing your name change. Or a letter from her dad signed alongside a photocopy of his passport to match the signature to.

That is awful. The children who were abducted in my family were with their father but too scared to say they didn't want to go. Why don't you check with the other parent? Children abducted to a country that isn't a signatory to The Hague Convention will likely never see their other parent again.

Lives ruined for the sake of a simple check.