HOLIDAY/BIRTH CERT CRISIS 😩

[OHFUCKCRAP]

Name changed incase anyone can link me to previous posts.

IM PANICKING.

me and my dd age 7 are due to go abroad in 2.5 weeks. We have different surnames and I’m seperated from her father. Got his permission to take her out the country and he’s going to provide a letter no problem.

On the gov website it says I need her birth certificate to prove I’m her mother. Lovely ! Collect it from my stepdad (he keeps all my important documents always has done) and he’s fucking LAMINATED it 😩😩😩 so god knows what they are going to do if they ask for it.

I go back on the gov website to order a new one that is posted the next working day. AMAZING. Only I’m putting in her details TIME AND TIME again and nothing is coming up. Can’t even find her on the GRO index.

I’ve rambled and I’m sorry but WHAT DO I DO NOW?!! She has had a very shit year and if they turn us away her heart will break 😩😩😩

How does that make a difference?

I’m married but my kids have their dads name, so we have different names.

it’s not the different names that’s the issue here anyway. It’s a lone parent travelling with children.

many cultures don’t have the paternal naming system we do, having different names is not the massive drama people seem to think it is.

Thank you for the kindness. I’m going to take the laminate I think.

I was asked for birth certificate last time I travelled alone with daughter. Out of curiosity I asked what would happen if I'd forgotten it. They said that they'd ask her some questions like her name, who her mum is, where she is going. They also recommended me filling my name as first emergency contact on her passport to demonstrates a legit relationship. By recommended, I mean they told me off for leaving that page blank. So it seems there are ways even without birth certificate though they may be painful. I think you'll be ok.

I can completely see why you stressed about this, I would be too. I have been asked to show the birth certificate so it does happen. Hopefully as you have 2 weeks you are able to get it sorted and can travel stress free. It’s good that you have realised now and not the day before, good luck

Yes, this, great idea!

you know I don’t need to explain why but considering the VIPERS are out in full force tonight I think I’ll let you know why my lovely stepdad has my important documents.

i do know the reason why he laminated it, my dds dad isn’t a very nice man nor is he a very nice father. that man beat me black and blue, tore every single thing I had into peices. Clothes, documents, photos EVERYTHING. I left with nothing. my wonderful stepdad to protect it from him laminated the last copy of my DDs birth certificate so it couldn’t be destroyed by that monster. I’ve now asked him until I get a safe to keep everything important for me. I left my ex the day after he did this.

so I’m sorry if some of you like to use that against me but there is the reason. I’m not strange, ridiculous nor do I thrive on drama.

some of you need to learn to be kind and realise not everyone has a perfect situation

thank you to the kind ones who helped and have reassurance. I’m going to leave this thread as it’s become way to personal

I mixed up another poster with you, they said they were with the dad... oops my bad. You should look after your own documents though, you wouldn't be having a meltdown over a laminated document if you kept it at your own house. You do sound highly strung though, not exactly a crisis 2.5 weeks before you go away, chillout!

I didn’t change my passport to my married name and travelled loads with my kids solo. They always just ask the kids where’s/who’s mum? If your child is 7 and can answer border control you won’t have a problem. It’s only when you come back into UK anyway. I’ve never had them check when leaving the country.

You didnt need to justify where your documents are. Theres nothing wrong with that.

Read what I have just posted you perfect person

OP I used to order a lot of certificates for work. First of all, how old is your daughter, because the system wasn’t fully digitised until about 2006 and there are so many clerical input mistakes before then.

Try searching for her with spelling variations eg Clare instead of Claire, or Clark instead of Clarke, that kind of thing. A friend of mine couldn’t find his birth record but it turned out there was a letter repeated in his surname when the handwritten certificate was uploaded, just human error.

Well that’s a reason not to give your child their surname if I’ve ever heard one

well done for leaving, hope you and your child enjoy your holiday

Well the operative word there is should which is why I suggested the Op laminate something else & try!

It seems as if you'll be OK for this but longer term will need to make sure that you have an unlaminated copy.

@OHFUCKCRAP I’m sorry this thread has been so upsetting for you. Before you go though did you see the link I posted about alternative documents to take?

I wouldn’t cut it out the laminate just in case it gets damaged or it’s stuck to the plastic if it got overheated etc..
Just take it with you and any other official letters with your name and DDs name on them ( hospital appointment? Child benefit? Anything from school?) if anyone comments on the laminate shrug and say we’re a messy family, so much stuff gets messed up.
Have a great holiday and relax.

The man was a perfect partner up until that flip out! He is her dad I will not justify why she has his last name. Jesus Christ

I've travelled several times with my two nephews who have a different surname, I've never been asked to prove who I am and I'm not their mother anyway so a birth certificate would be useless!

Same with SIL and her step son, we go on holiday abroad every year together and she's never been asked to prove who she is (different surnames too, he's her ex's child) most people probably don't even know this is a thing!

yes I did thank you.

it costs nothing to be kind to others and not make personal remarks about them without even knowing them.

your so kind thanks again

You. Have. Two. Whole. Weeks.

Ignore those who have gone off topic. Calm down. Go to bed. You have loads of time to get this certificate (that you probably don't need).

Walk away from the thread and breathe.

Firstly, calm down.

Secondly, ignore the vipers.

Thirdly, get some sleep.

Tomorrow after you’ve had a decent sleep try ordering one off the website again and if not give them a ring.

If they do next day delivery then you have plenty of time.

I don’t think it’s a good idea to keep important documents at your stepdads as they’re you’re responsibility and things like this can happen.

I don’t understand why some people think you shouldn’t give a child their fathers surname.
Why is it ok to get the mothers surname and not fathers and most people end up getting married anyway.

Not everyone on here is a bitch. Sorry he did that to you. You don’t have to explain yourself to strangers. Good luck with the holiday! :)

Not read the full thread, just apply to the register Office where she was born! Most counties will have a website for the registration service where you can order! I work in admin at a registration office, very easy and costs approx £11 slightly more if you want it quick. Don't panic!

If this is true then crisis averted as no birth certificate required and the laminated one will do as extra confirmation?

Another one saying do not try to split the laminate! If you look at the pouches, they have a kind of dull, dry glue over the whole area on both inside sides. When you put this through the machine the glue melts into the paper, and the edges where there's no paper fuse, and everything goes clear and shiny. That's why they work when you laminate odd or small documents (eg cuttings). I'm sure you can get edge only pouches, but they would be obvious, so chances are the whole thing is totally stuck together. Yes, I spend way too much time playing with laminators.

Sending love OP. Sounds like you’ve already worked out that this is not the disaster you were worried about. If it helps I have only once been asked for the birth certificate of my DD and I didn’t have it but they let us go anyway so I don’t think it’s a big thing.