Ex wants to install antenna to use Internet from my property

[Wifispy]

My ex reluctantly left a few months ago as he was emotionally abusive and controlling, and hurt the children more than once. He rents a shared property around the corner and over the road (bit too close for comfort, but at least he's not in the house).

I was concerned he had access to my phone somehow, he knew things I'd talked about in private etc and he's extremely tech savvy (part of his job). So I bought a new phone and haven't connected it to the house WiFi, which he still pays for. Now he wants to install an antenna on the outside of my house so he can access the WiFi at his new place. He needs a good connection for wfh, and says the Internet at his new place is rubbish (we have the fastest you can get here). He won't ask his landlord about upgrading or moving his contract over there, claiming it would require the house to be rewired.

AIBU to think he wants access to spy on me somehow or am I being paranoid? When I asked him who the internet was with the other month he claimed he couldn't remember, and I don't have the password to access it (my laptop and the TV etc are already connected so I only ever ask for it if I have a guest who wants to connect, and he never tells me).

There are companies that can check your house for devices and assist you in sorting out your internet passwords, check for spywear, beef up your online security and so on?
I would be very tempted to remove and replace any unusual electronic devices in your house that he has had a hand in (radiator stuff, lightbulbs) but physically keep them. A discussion with police might be helpful
Keep a record of all convos that strike you as a bit odd eg your discussion with him about the weird plans for an antenna on your house or any other 'helpful' things he suggests.

My ex was similar.

When we were together, he knew stuff that he shouldn't have known, and would often ask me really strange questions that seemed just odd.

Turns out he was able to access my email, chat, messages etc... so was reading every chat dialogue I had then asking questions relating to what he'd read to try and catch me out!

Another guy I knew stalks his wife online too. All because their child has a Pokemon account logged in with her gmail login, which means he then has access to every search history, and anything she logs into with gmail e.g. her facebook account etc... She always assumed that it was through the wifi and she was safe when out the house.

I'd wait until you have the new wifi with a new router password before connecting this phone to the wifi, and absolutely do NOT let him have this antenna thing! He shouldn't even be connecting to your wifi!

Take the bulbs out and see if there's a manufacturer printed on them. Sometimes the writing fades but some bulbs say which company and how many watts.

Good for you! His Wi-Fi is his issue. There is literally no way he needs to put an antenna on your house unless he’s spying on you.

just ignore him. Don’t respond to him on anything except the bare essentials, dc. Nothing more.

get yourself a new number while you’re at it and migrate everyone except him to the new number

It's pretty easy to pop the top off, why you'd want to is beyond me. The black squares look like a pretty integral part of the bulbs, but I have no idea what the inside of an LED bulb is supposed to look like! He does have his own soldering iron and works with circuit boards so could feasibly have tampered with them.

Assume these things are bugged and smash them up then throw them out. Tbh I'd be moving or hiring a company to do a sweep of the entire house and getting some extra internet/device security features. Anything the kids bring back with them should be kept outside/in a garage or shed. Apart from clothing of course.

Your ex sounds like a conniving pain in the arse.

Right, hes certainly a tinkerer 😆 What hes done there is change the current limiting resistor for a different value one to make it brighter/dimmer, i couldnt make out the colours but its not important.
Its not a camera, that said, if i wanted to be careful, the lower power line has also seen some interferance, it could have a mic hidden further inside but I doubt it. Id change it as a matter of course so my house didnt burn down if anything, they are cheap enough.

Hell no

Get out of your current contract (even if it means claiming to be your Ex like someone did on a thread recently)

Set up a new Internet contract with a different supplier and never let the Ex know anything has changed

I dont think hes a spook or has superior technical skills BUT change you provider ( youll get a new hub/router) protect it with a good password, check your social media, messaging, icloud if applicable and email are secure, consider making a new email address to use for 2factor authication so if someone tries to change or recover your password its sent to this new email.

Regards devices leaving the home and coming back onto your home network, it is possible if your security is lacking that a 3rd party could use this to spread malware which would reinfect your devices, but at this point i think its fine.
He sounds like he might be simple having a snoop through your stuff, easily* sorted.

^This 💯. He sounds dodgy as fuck.

Could the 'antenna' he wanted to install be some sort of camera like a ring doorbell. If he is the suspicious type I could see him wanting to see who comes and goes to your house.

Do you own or rent your home?

massive squishes @Wifispy.

id be checking for any devices plugged in to hidden away plug sockets etc (I have one hidden behind a cluttered sideboard I wouldn’t notice something being plugged in unless I specifically checked).

Ensure no Alexa etc gadgets in home.

How old are the children? I’d be getting someone tech savvy or in a shop to help with the settings and check that they aren’t linked to something he can access.

If he’s aware of private conversations you’ve had that weren’t around the children then something is definitely going on.

also consider new phone is fine but what apps etc do you have on phones and laptops?

make sure you change passwords for everything.

set up 2 factor authentication

good luck.

It's not your responsibility to enable him to wfh with good internet. Tell him to sort something out yourself. He is not to come in your house. I would be searching for any listening devices too or hidden cameras

Before you change everything, set him up.

Have a friend round and talk loudly about moving to Australia or similar.

Then get rid of anything like Alexa, change passwords and get everything forced logged out.

This.
He is lying to you. There is no way an antennae on your house will get him faster broadband at his place. He is up to something.

Good for you for changing your provider. Make sure you use a different password from before too. Also change your google etc passwords in case he knows them. If you have autobackup from your phone he will be able to access the photos from the cloud if he knows your password and username and you haven't set up 2 factor authentication. (Or if he's managed to add his phone no as one of the 2 factor options).

You need to change your passwords for EVERYTHING whilst not using the home WiFi

Assume he had a key logger and has ALL your passwords to everything. Messenger, FB account, Mumsnet, emails even a work one.

I'm not that tech savvy but I'd be concerned also that's he's put some software on your laptop that allows him to access it. Can you afford to replace it or could you get it checked out for malware?

Absolutely this.

Why do you think he's asking to install an antenna please? What could he do from that?

there is a little gadget which is not expensive that you can buy and use to "sweep" the houses for bugs!! I would certainly be doing that/ Change all the lightbulbs in the house and just bin them. Get the radiators converted back to normal ones cos it is actually a pain for anyone in the house to adjust the temperature control!! your ex has no right to be in your house for anything and certainly has no right to be putting an antenna up so he can use internet, bite the bullet and just do all of those things.

Don't use the wifi password on the new router, he could easily take a snap shot of it on the back of the box if he's in the house at any time. Make your own name and password not BT-6BG5 or whatever, make it sod off you nosey bastard and a password only your know.

I agree

Do not allow any antenna to be installed at your property

Change provider

Change passwords (not pet names or anything easy)

I would also get someone to check your laptop for any installed software for key loggers etc!!!

He is probably looking to install an antenna wifi booster so that he can use the OP’s wifi from his rental around the corner. This will mean 2 households on 1 wifi, which is fraud and the ISP will detect it and likely blame the OP landing her in debt and possibly court.

It also means that he will be able to control all wifi controlled devices in the home- the OP has said the radiators are wifi controlled so he can shut off their central heating if he feels like it. He can secrete wifi enabled cameras and microphones in the house and then activate them- he’s already tried to sneak an Alexa in to do that.

He can also monitor all their internet activity by sharing the wifi and using spying software.

That’s why. He has a BS excuse about not being able to get good wifi at his place.