Ex wants to install antenna to use Internet from my property

[Wifispy]

My ex reluctantly left a few months ago as he was emotionally abusive and controlling, and hurt the children more than once. He rents a shared property around the corner and over the road (bit too close for comfort, but at least he's not in the house).

I was concerned he had access to my phone somehow, he knew things I'd talked about in private etc and he's extremely tech savvy (part of his job). So I bought a new phone and haven't connected it to the house WiFi, which he still pays for. Now he wants to install an antenna on the outside of my house so he can access the WiFi at his new place. He needs a good connection for wfh, and says the Internet at his new place is rubbish (we have the fastest you can get here). He won't ask his landlord about upgrading or moving his contract over there, claiming it would require the house to be rewired.

AIBU to think he wants access to spy on me somehow or am I being paranoid? When I asked him who the internet was with the other month he claimed he couldn't remember, and I don't have the password to access it (my laptop and the TV etc are already connected so I only ever ask for it if I have a guest who wants to connect, and he never tells me).

This phone will be fine, dont connect to it just yet though

Have you used this username in the past, before you realised he was tracking you?

If so, he knows it.

Also

>I'm not spying on you!

Sounds like my nephew 'I haven't had a biscuit!' when no one was talking about biscuits.

Op you can get a device to check your home for hidden cctv too . If you find something that’s a serious offence . He sounds controlling and working within the legal industry and divorces , it’s more common that people realise

Visit www.whatismyisp.com to find your your provider details

what is my isp . com

dont know whats mumsnets done there

You're right to be cautious. I'm sure you already do this but it's good to use

• a password manager.
• something where he won't be able to answer the questions. You don't have to answer any security question accurately, you just need to note/remember what the word/phrase was..

@Thatladdo I'll try and post a picture of the bulbs. They're a little tough to open but it can be done and then they can be put back together again. I can't see any reason why someone would do that though, so when I saw them I got suspicious.

What is his job / line of work?

Thers no good reason to interfere with those at all unless you were modifying it.

What model is your home router ( the wifi box )?

If your kids take their devices to his house, you need to make sure that they are set up so that he can't change the passwords on them or download software that logs keystrokes and sites visited etc Location data is a popular way to spy. It might be easiest that you suggest that the kids have devices at each house so that you're not faced with being the bad guy and turning off gadgets that he bought that could be loaded with spying software.

Look, you know you don't have to do anything for him any more, you're not in a relationship with him, and you owe him nothing. The advice to not engage is good. Get used to just saying, 'no, I'm not going to do that,' or 'No, that will not be happening'. Don't respond to any follow ups, or just repeat the same phrase until he gets bored.

Get into the habit of changing your WiFi password regularly, use complex non guessable passwords, and learn how to access your router and see what devices are connected to it. You might be able to set up alerts when a new device connects to your WiFi, ask your provider for some help.

Regarding the radiators, if you can keep your network secure, then set them up on your new network. If you can't keep it secure, then have a plumber swap them for standard thermostats. Give him back the WiFi enabled ones, or sell them to cover the cost of the plumber.

Finally any devices he's left in the house might not be using your WiFi to communicate, so it's worth doing a thorough search, and perhaps scanning your home with a Bluetooth device scanner app.

If you find any evidence he is watching you or listening to you, hand it over to the police.

I would honestly want to move and start afresh.

I wonder if you can hire an ‘expert’ to check your home out for bugs.

Failing all that you could think up some ‘wagatha Christie’ style story to see if he is spying.

I would really want to move out. You need your home to feel safe.

Also, I've never managed to get it to work, but there's that thing where you can allegedly press a button on the router to connect a nearby device.
but the router out of sight, or disconnect it if he visits.

It would be very interesting to see what devices are connected to your home wifi network that he is so keen to connect to.
When you know your provider / hub type log in to check whats going through it.

That LED lamp in the ceiling appears to have something black and square on the rear of the reflector and theres no good reason to open one up.

Just curiosity - do the lightbulbs he messed about with look like the others in the house?

I was also wondering what the black bit is. None of my led bulbs have that.

I would consider going outside to a phone box if you can find one and calling 101.

Yep I was thinking that. What is the black square in that bulb. I don't think I've ever seen that before and I'm in tech.

IF it was a tiny little ip camera it should be visable on the list of connected devices on the router

That is very fishy. Stay safe

Hmm that's concerning that other LED bulbs don't have the black square. It's the only room in the house with those bulbs, but I remember him being super keen to get them. Maybe I should take them out and order some more.

One of the light fittings in the hallway had an adapter fitted to connect a screw bulb to the original push in fitting, which I found when the bulb needed changing. That was odd as the rest of the house has a variety of push and twist and screw bulbs. I removed that.

He works in a job involving circuit board design, and has always used VPN's and whatever that thing is that makes the internet think it's in another country etc. I always thought he was being paranoid, but maybe it's because he was spying so he knows where all the weaknesses are.

YES take them out. Id love to see a better photo too!.

Is the one in the hallway a smart bulb? that could be what the adapter is for, but check it certainly.
Did he ever show interest in electric sockets? are they all working correctly ie all sockets / usb sockets work? no blanks or other suspicious looking lumps or bumps?

I think I’d be calling 101 as well. The police have teams that can check for these sorts of electronic surveillance. If they do it, then it can be further evidence against him as being controlling and coercive. They wouldn’t need a warrant as it is your home and you are requesting them.

I don’t think I’d disturb anything. I’d be calling the police at this point. It could be evidence.

Lets see the lamp first, there would need to be some physical evidence for them to act or it will sound like hysteria