Would you prefer a piss head or a pot head

[Wantafluffybathrobe]

As your Dh/Dp?

If you HAD to choose one?

In my circle of main friends (mums) the partners/husbands all seem to have issues with booze-drink too much, go out with mates to the pub/football etc and drink a lot. They are generally fairly sporty-play golf or football

Dh rarely drinks, has the odd beer here or there, but isn’t fussed, hates football and golf, but surfs/snowboards etc. He doesn’t go *Out with the lads, but has either a beer with the odd pal or friends from work or more likely goes to friends houses, they listen to music, chat, watch a film and have a joint.

Which would you prefer?

My first husband sat around in his sweats and smoked weed. He was in sales.
My second husband sat around in his bathrobe and drank scotch. He was a pilot.

They were both arseholes. I’m a lousy judge of character.

There will be no third husband.

Well, since none of us are at school, or talking about anyone at school (I hope) it's not really relevant to include any teenagers you know who only sell to children.

And no, I'm describing the average dealer of everyone I know and have ever met over the last twenty five years (probably talking about 200 or so people), which covers London, Reading, Leeds, Leicester, Manchester, Bradford, Sheffield, Derby, Birmingham, Oxford, Worcester, and likely some other places that aren't coming to my head. None of the dealers have ever been anything even remotely close to teenage age.

I knew a woman who sold ketamine once but she disappeared off the radar about fifteen years ago. She was about 40.

I just don't see older professionals buying drugs or having the opportunity to buy drugs from a teenager. I'm sure it does happen but it's not typical.

Pot head.

This. An actual pothead is a much of a pain in the arse, lying, irresponsible & expensive twat as a pisshead.

I'm staying single, thanks 😂

Have you asked the question because you want to be told that the pothead is a better choice? You feel luckier than your friends or do not mind? May be a pothead is barely ok for a teenager boyfriend. Really sad someone would need to choose between these two types as a grown up to start a family. However, most men never mature it seems.

I work with both piss heads and pot heads and can say with confidence that I would choose neither. I am grateful that my DH only occasionally socially drinks and has a beer with dinner on a Saturday night. I wouldn’t be with anyone who smokes or drinks excessively. Both so anti-social and damaging.

Neither, same as I wouldn't be one and would assume my husband wouldn't be with me if I was

Snap

Neither. My exH was both dependent on his mood/ the situation. Drinking times he would become annoying and when he was smoking would be super paranoid even more abusive and lazy/ messy. I know a few people who can't hold down a decent job and have mental health issues who regularly smoke. Both are detrimental to physical and mental health.

Uh-huh @TheGirlFromTomorrow . All I'm saying is that you seem to think your experience is universal. It isn't.

Many of those places have a lot of Asian people living there. Not everywhere does. As I said, I've not been aware of any Asian drug dealers. So it's clearly not the same everywhere.

Fwiw I have never bought drugs, but I know quite a few people that do on a regular basis, including my ex.

I'm also aware through my work of people coming to the area to sell drugs. They were specifically selling to the dealers and they were almost exclusively young white university students. I didn't include them first time round as they were mules rather than sellers. I don't work there any more so I haven't heard anything about that in the last couple of years.

It obviously completely depends. In the situation you describe i'd take a bit of weed smoking any day. But I know a grown man whose mental health has gone to shit, goes on and on about conspiracy theories and is now divorced - all thanks to weed.
Booze and weed are both drugs and should be used in moderation.

NEITHER!!! Run away now! I was a young idiot and didn't smoke (anything) and hardly drank however, he convinced me it was basically herbal. Eventually realised all his friends were the same and also coke heads let alone booze.

If I absolutely had to choose one, had to, if there were no 'stay single' option, then pot head. Since I gave up drinking I really struggle being around drunk people.

If I had these choices of males. No option to be single. I would try and date a woman with none of these problems.

Addiction to either is as bad as the other. My alcoholic xh switched from alcohol to pot and nothing changed except that he smelled different. But a lot of the sheer ignorance about pot being more harmless meant that a lot of people acted like it really was different and he was sober now. And I got painted as the bad guy for not accepting this new version of him. Some of his most terrifying episodes happened when he couldn't get access to his pot.

Questions like this are dangerous if you aren't willing to accept that it's not different. Addiction to one drug isn't better to addiction to another. You are clearly hoping to hear pot addiction is better. It isn't. If your partner is addicted, as opposed to a casual user, then you are in for just as much misery as if he was alcohol addicted.

My personal opinion is that only dopes smoke dope.
I always know when my DH has been smoking weed.

Booze, I only have the odd pint myself. Not bothered.
DH drinks at home & goes to the pub every weekend.

I used to think I was lucky as DH didn't go to the pub/drink. He'd rather sit in the shed smoking weed, occasionally at first.

Then it got out of hand and cannabis induced psychosis set in. I think I would have preferred alcohol as I would have maybe seen it coming!

I wouldn't choose either, I wouldn't want someone who did drugs to be around my children (or me really) and I hardly drink so I wouldn't be with someone who drank a lot. There is never a situation where I'd have to choose.

Pothead. Sounds like a lovely evening tbh.

Unless you're growing your own, weed is part of a chain of human misery including trafficking, so from that point of view I'd take a pisshead.

Infuriates me when people talk about having a 'cheeky' joint as if there's no human cost in its production.

Neither - there are decent men in the world!
Illegal drugs are a complete dealbreaker for me.
Alcohol in moderation is ok, but by that I mean a drink now & then, split a bottle of wine when going out for dinner occasionally, not a few drinks a day. No need/excuse for inebriation and at the first signs of dependency I’m out.

If I had to... a drunk. Because I like a drink sometimes and I can generally handle them.

Potheads are boring, lazy and paranoid. Paint drying is more interesting than watching them zone out. And I'm allergic to weed so can't join in (it gives me seizures).

Thankfully I have a lovely man who is addicted to knitting 🤣

The choice you’ve given us makes a lot of assumptions about the personality traits that go along with booze and weed.

It is simply not true that someone who likes a drink means a loud, laddish sports fan, or that someone who smokes weed is quiet and gentle and likes films.

My DP drinks more than is good for him, definitely. But he is also a quiet, shy, gentle type who is not remotely laddish and likes arthouse cinema, restaurants, architecture, history, the arts and quizzes.

By contrast, I used to know a very keen weed smoker who barely drank, but was a loud, aggressive racist who beat his wife and child and ended up in prison for stabbing his wife’s brother.

Neither!