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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you prefer a piss head or a pot head

138 replies

Wantafluffybathrobe · 08/09/2023 22:38

As your Dh/Dp?

If you HAD to choose one?

In my circle of main friends (mums) the partners/husbands all seem to have issues with booze-drink too much, go out with mates to the pub/football etc and drink a lot. They are generally fairly sporty-play golf or football

Dh rarely drinks, has the odd beer here or there, but isn’t fussed, hates football and golf, but surfs/snowboards etc. He doesn’t go *Out with the lads, but has either a beer with the odd pal or friends from work or more likely goes to friends houses, they listen to music, chat, watch a film and have a joint.

Which would you prefer?

OP posts:
MrsApplepants · 09/09/2023 00:06

Neither - they both stink the place out

BeeVer · 09/09/2023 00:09

MrsApplepants · 09/09/2023 00:06

Neither - they both stink the place out

Most pot users I know have a gummy before bed (but it’s legal here, I imagine smoking is more common where weed is illegal).

StEtienne93 · 09/09/2023 00:10

Out of the two options, although neither are ideal, I'd go for the pot head. I've had both types of partners, but my stbxh and also my dad were both very nasty drunks. It was a miserable life living with both of them. I never felt unsafe or on edge like that living with a pot head.

SheSaidHummingbird · 09/09/2023 00:13

Single!!

uncomfortablydumb53 · 09/09/2023 00:17

I'd stay happily single, thanks

Original poster
Wantafluffybathrobe · 09/09/2023 00:25

The choice isn’t single 🙈or they’d be no point asking

OP posts:
BeeVer · 09/09/2023 00:33

Could I go the other way and has a polyamorous relationship with both of them?

CallieQ · 09/09/2023 00:47

Lexxxx · 08/09/2023 22:39

my DH is back smoking weed after years off. No tobacco. Home grown. he’s much happier and joyous to be around

Haha this is not at all good for him in the long run!

Seddon · 09/09/2023 00:49

Wantafluffybathrobe · 09/09/2023 00:25

The choice isn’t single 🙈or they’d be no point asking

It really is!

'My husband is shit but he's less shit than yours' doesn't sound like a fun game to me.

Ponderingwindow · 09/09/2023 01:41

If I had to choose, pot. Much less likely to beat the crap out of you

QueenBitch666 · 09/09/2023 01:43

Neither. Both absolute losers

QueenBitch666 · 09/09/2023 01:45

And it's joyous to be single Grin

DrinkingWineInBed · 09/09/2023 01:46

Neither. Your bar is in hell if you’re willing to settle for either type of loser.

CherryMaDeara · 09/09/2023 01:47

Neither. Interesting that you’ve tried to set up the options to make your DH look better.

The rest of the men all have drink issues and drink a lot but your DH surfs, listens to music, chats and smokes a joint.

undermine · 09/09/2023 01:55

I dunno how the voting works but I’d rather date someone who drinks. I drink (I don’t overdo it though) and I don’t smoke. I don’t want to be around smoking, the smell, drug dealers, the mess or anything associated with it. The bad teeth, the lifestyle. Smokers do tend to be short tempered too.

hates football and golf, but surfs/snowboards etc. He doesn’t go Out with the lads, but has either a beer with the odd pal or friends from work or more likely goes to friends houses, they listen to music, chat, watch a film *
people that drink alcohol can do all this too? Weird take to think it’s an alcohol vs weed thing

Wheresmemum · 09/09/2023 02:48

Neither, both are addictions and a cause for concern. Women shouldn't have to be making these choices and if men feel they need these addictions to manage life they need support for it, genuinely.

Brightandshining · 09/09/2023 02:51

I mean neither.. but if you forced me at gunpoint then pothead.

TheGirlFromTomorrow · 09/09/2023 03:13

TheMoth · 08/09/2023 23:19

Where's his weed coming from? Delivered by teenagers who have been dragged in to county lines?

I highly doubt it would be sold by a teenager. I don't think I've ever met a drug dealer who was a teenager.

Just FYI, an actual drug dealer is normally an Asian man in his thirties who comes round in a different BMW each time. You get his number from someone or he gets your number from other dealers and messages you with what's available. They stop outside your house or meet you near the pub. You usually see them for all of about thirty seconds. Or you can not see them at all. Some of them you can bank transfer them the money and they'll post it through your door.

It's a bit like Deliveroo these days.

Georgie743 · 09/09/2023 03:18

I'd rather buy several good vibrators.

ISeeMisledPeople · 09/09/2023 03:23

Definitely single.

If I had no choice but to date one or the other - then they would have their own place, I wouldn't stay over and I wouldn't tell them where I lived.

ISeeMisledPeople · 09/09/2023 03:26

@TheGirlFromTomorrow my next door neighbour was a teenage drug dealer. I've never met an Asian one. Plenty of middle aged white men and one young white women, but no Asians.

What's normal where you are isn't normal everywhere.

Honeychickpea · 09/09/2023 03:39

CallieQ · 09/09/2023 00:47

Haha this is not at all good for him in the long run!

Show quote history

It probably is actually. Cannabis is legal where I live and all sorts high functional professionals use it. The sort of low functioning users that you are thinking of would be low functioning no matter what. One excuse is as good as another.

3tumsnot1 · 09/09/2023 03:43

Neither. I have a piss head who can now no longer drink booze. We can’t enjoy a glass of wine with a meal or Friday night beer together. He’s on and off depressed because of this and now smokes pot to make himself feel better. Which makes him lazy and short tempered. He lives for his evenings. It’s shit on the rest of us…

TheGirlFromTomorrow · 09/09/2023 03:54

ISeeMisledPeople · 09/09/2023 03:26

@TheGirlFromTomorrow my next door neighbour was a teenage drug dealer. I've never met an Asian one. Plenty of middle aged white men and one young white women, but no Asians.

What's normal where you are isn't normal everywhere.

I'm not aware of any dealers selling party drugs who don't deliver these days. I can't see a teenager being able to keep up. They need to be able to run a car to deliver to their customers in a city and I have never seen a teenager going around on a bicycle doing it.

I'm sure it happens but I've never seen it. Not even when I was a teenager did I see a teenager dealing.

The white dealers tend to the ones selling crack and heroin, so I'm describing your typical weed dealer since that's the point of the thread.

ISeeMisledPeople · 09/09/2023 04:01

No, you are describing your typical weed dealer.

The drug dealers I know mostly deal in weed and amphetamine - not crack and heroin.

The teenage drug dealing neighbour was selling at school. That was exclusively weed. No need for a car.