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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would your thoughts be if you received this text message?

485 replies

Cantsleep1234 · 08/09/2023 01:12

For context I have been messaging this person and sometimes I don’t reply quickly due to working or other things and this is what he says. Top message supposed to say ‘at messaging’ I’m guessing..I’m mid twenties and he is mid thirties.

What would your thoughts be if you received this text message?
OP posts:
HelterSkelter224 · 08/09/2023 09:33

Ugh 🚩

Crikeyalmighty · 08/09/2023 09:34

My first thought would be that he is thick

BlackJumpsuit · 08/09/2023 09:35

HelterSkelter224 · 08/09/2023 09:33

Ugh 🚩

Came on to say this.

Double ugh in fact. That spelling would have me running for the hills never mind anything else.

Block.

MenopauseSucks · 08/09/2023 09:41

Yuk 🤢
Would block asap!

3peassuit · 08/09/2023 09:42

An instant dismissal.

JoanOfAllTrades · 08/09/2023 09:42

Yeah, the spelling and grammar don’t do it for me!

He’s supposedly in his thirties and wants to give you a “smak” bum? Yeah, nah.

I've seen less red flags at a Chinese Communist Party Convention!

Applesaarenttheonlyfruit · 08/09/2023 09:45

I’d think that LOL is covering up for someone that will be smacking you in the face one day.

TooOldForASugarDaddy · 08/09/2023 09:45

I am a snob, a hypocrite if you wish but… in my younger years at OLD he would have been blocked just for using “your” instead of “you’re”.

GG1986 · 08/09/2023 09:49

Bloody weird and immature and I would no longer be interested.

Doggymummar · 08/09/2023 09:50

I couldn't date someone who can't spell correctly.

PeppermintMandy · 08/09/2023 09:54

Yikes…the amount of comments calling him an illiterate thicko are disturbing. The smacked bum bit is a huge ick but the spelling/grammer could be for a million different reasons. He could be dyslexic. He could have had poor schooling either from going to a terrible school or from having a horrible home life that’s made learning difficult.

Also if he is “illiterate” because he’s “thick” does that make him a bad person? Do people who struggle with spelling not deserve a romantic relationship? Are people assuming if he has problems constructing sentences that is because he’s was lazy as a primary school aged child so didn’t grasp written English well?? So now he’s unlovable?

The message would be ick even if perfectly written but the ableism in the comments is sickening.

Proudgypsy · 08/09/2023 09:55

Doggymummar · 08/09/2023 09:50

I couldn't date someone who can't spell correctly.

You and all the others who have said the same or worse are absolutely disgraceful.

God forbid someone have any sort of disability.

Stressyfab · 08/09/2023 09:58

Ew

twilightermummy · 08/09/2023 10:00

Trez1510

He's your prince. Nab him quick before someone else does.

🤣

PictureConsequences · 08/09/2023 10:01

Spelling aside (although doesn't everyone have autocorrect anyway?), I don't like the way he sends the second text to tell you off. It's creepy, I think he's trying to be saucy 🤢. He failed. And you respond when you're ready, no excuses about not being able to use phone at work. You are not answerable to him..!

ImGoingThroughChanges · 08/09/2023 10:01

Fair enough about the spelling snobs but it’s not a disability to be a controlling creep so can we still agree on “ew”?

Endlesssummerof76 · 08/09/2023 10:01

Proudgypsy · 08/09/2023 09:55

You and all the others who have said the same or worse are absolutely disgraceful.

God forbid someone have any sort of disability.

Show quote history

Like it or not, many people have clear criteria when choosing a partner. Based on the comments on this thread, illiteracy (due to whatever reason) combined with laziness would be a deal breaker for many people.

Keyworks · 08/09/2023 10:01

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Loubelle70 · 08/09/2023 10:01

Blueeyedmale · 08/09/2023 01:27

Sounds quite needy smacks of I want all your attention and you should give it to me now that can also potentially lead to controlling behaviour there is also an aspect of immaturity to it also

This

TottenhamGirl · 08/09/2023 10:03

He needs a smack with a dicktionary! 🙄

Stressyfab · 08/09/2023 10:05

It’s an ew to a grown adult saying someone needs a smacked bum for not replying yet! Regardless of spelling.

Maatandosiris · 08/09/2023 10:06

Unless they were 4 years old, I would assume we had nothing in common (eg the possession of brain cells) and block.

whereaw · 08/09/2023 10:07

If they said
"Your so much fun to be around, I'm enjoying getting to know you."
And they were a sweet, caring guy who maybe struggled with spelling, was dyslexic etc. it wouldn't bother me. It's WHAT you say not how you say it. I know many articulate people with very little empathy, creativity or imagination.

BUT in this case it just gives me the total ick. If you're talking down to someone like they're a child and you can't even write correctly, then I will call you out on it in this case.
Mate. You sound like a tool.

Loubelle70 · 08/09/2023 10:08

Nothing to do with illiteracy, but OP would still be able to go no if that is a no for her. We have to be on similar intellectual intelligence to converse.
If he text me the bum text , id txt bk (a day or so after cos im a bas*ard with ownership and dating). ..."and youll have a swift punch on the nose" adios. It would be a deal breaker for me. Its ick indeed. I had a few dates with a guy who started to infantile the way he spoke...i was wtf. I said i didn't like it ..and he text back 'sowwwy' roflmao...and not in humour either. Made me laugh though. None of the gear and still no idea.

joelmillersbackpack · 08/09/2023 10:09

As another poster once said, my fanny would clamp shut so fast you’d hear it go clang