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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would your thoughts be if you received this text message?

485 replies

Cantsleep1234 · 08/09/2023 01:12

For context I have been messaging this person and sometimes I don’t reply quickly due to working or other things and this is what he says. Top message supposed to say ‘at messaging’ I’m guessing..I’m mid twenties and he is mid thirties.

What would your thoughts be if you received this text message?
OP posts:
Catsarego · 08/09/2023 09:08

Immature sex pest

Helpmepleaseimbusy · 08/09/2023 09:08

He's trying to flirt, and it depends on whether you like this kind of sexual banter. Some do, and some don't. I don't love bad spelling, but I don't think he is doing anything massively wrong or being awful.

If it makes you uncomfortable, then just stop talking to him.

I think everyone saying he is controlling etc based on one message are being silly. You can't make that judgement based off two messages.

febbabies2023 · 08/09/2023 09:09

Trez1510 · 08/09/2023 01:38

He's your prince. Nab him quick before someone else does.

Hahahaha stop it this made me chuckle. A lot

Silverdogblue · 08/09/2023 09:12

Namechange666 · 08/09/2023 01:40

Eww is all.

Took the words right off my keyboard.

watcherintherye · 08/09/2023 09:12

blendedfamly · 08/09/2023 05:35

It's a passive aggressive way of saying they don't like it when you do that. My ex mil use to do it "I'll have to give blended a smacked bum if she does that again " Tinkly laugh.

It's patronising, irritating and shows a lack of ability to communicate proficiently . Also I would be annoyed at feeling like I have to jump when he texts. It would be a no thank you from me.

I agree, except I think I’d find it difficult to feel patronised by someone who uses the phrase ‘smacked bum’!

Keyworks · 08/09/2023 09:13

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Shouldbeworkingnotreadingtalk · 08/09/2023 09:16

YoureALizardHarry11 · 08/09/2023 01:35

He’s laying down his controlling expectations early while disguising it as a joke. He also comes across a bit thick, so it would put me off for that alone.

This.
This is absolutely what he is doing, testing boundaries, seeing how quickly you "jump" when he says jump.
Go into it with eyes wide open.

geip · 08/09/2023 09:16

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@Keyworks it’s possible to use grammar correctly AND have a life. Give it a go, you might manage it.

Keyworks · 08/09/2023 09:18

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Luckingfovely · 08/09/2023 09:19

My thoughts would be, how quickly can I block this stupid waste of space?

Lifeomars · 08/09/2023 09:19

It's the "lol" that really made me cringe, none of it is clever or appealing but the lol really shows a total lack of self awareness.

instantick · 08/09/2023 09:20

is he a crackhead

PictureConsequences · 08/09/2023 09:20

Raisinnola · 08/09/2023 05:48

I would actually assume he’s testing the water to see if you’d be open to a bit of bedroom related spanking. I can almost guarantee.

Agreed

DoctorTeeCee · 08/09/2023 09:21

Topseyt123 · 08/09/2023 01:22

I'd think it must have been written by an illiterate thicko.

Same.

ChaChaRealSmooth · 08/09/2023 09:22

Anyone who says ‘lol’ is an instant ick for me 😂

Lifeomars · 08/09/2023 09:23

MyBrownEyedHandsomeBoy · 08/09/2023 07:19

Ok so he could possibly be dyslexic which could explain the spelling errors, which if so, then he can't help that.
As others PPs have said, the lol is to try and soften the fact he's pissed off you're not replying quick enough which could be a controlling red flag OP.
The second message shows he's trying to be a bit cheeky and see where he can get with it. IMO he's immature just from these 2 messages. You know him better than us. What do you think???

I have a mate who has dyslexia and some of their texts take a bit of unscrambling but they are articulate and well expressed. No "lols" either!

geip · 08/09/2023 09:24

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@Keyworks some people actually just are lazy with grammar. Analysing the ‘lol’ and the reference to spanking, I think we can comfortably said he falls into this category.

It’s very sad you don’t see the value in using grammar correctly. As I said up thread, which you ignored, it is possible to double check online if you struggle and/ or are lazy.

instantick · 08/09/2023 09:24

if you are sharing it for thoughts then you already know what you think x block

Keyworks · 08/09/2023 09:24

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geip · 08/09/2023 09:24

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@Keyworks cross posted. Some people are lazy.

TenderDandelions · 08/09/2023 09:27

He'd get one reply before I blocked him.

"Charming"

Skybluecoat · 08/09/2023 09:29

I would let the shit SPAG go if English isn’t his first language.

Nothing would change the way I feel about him telling me he thinks he can smack my bum if I don’t respond quickly enough.

As PP have said, bin and block.

Ýsette · 08/09/2023 09:30

How did my 4 year old get your number

🤣🤣🤣

Tandora · 08/09/2023 09:31

Run run run run run run

GLORIAGloriarse · 08/09/2023 09:31

Ignoring the SPAG in case he is dyslexic, I don't think this is about sex, flirting or spanking. I think it is a clingy, needy man. You haven't met (or many times at least) and he is criticising you for not working to his preferred timeline. It's passive aggressive. Fuck him off. He doesn't sound very bright. I've done far too much OLD to be very tolerant (and it has paid off with a goodun) and I would be very much turned off by this.