Am I being defensive or would you find my DH adivce annoying too?

[EasierThanTherapy]

DH gives me little bits of 'advice' constantly.

An example today. DH called to say he won't be able to cook dinner tonight as he's not back until later. I said - no problems, I do a bolognase for when you get back (we need to eat the mince, it's TOO HOT for spag bol I know).

And he says "thanks. make sure you cut the carrot really small and and fry it before the onion. bye"

Says it totally politely, but it riles me up. He gives me these little things like this at least once a day.

I feel like a cow getting riled up as it's so minor but it always winds me up.

Am I being unreasonable/weird?

Yanbu, he doesn’t seem to think you’re a competent adult

That has made me cross just reading it!!

Yeah, I'm seething just thinking about this, couldn't put up with that on a daily basis!

That’s exactly the kind of thing I would say to my DH… because he’s an awful cook 😂
And yes it does wind him up.

That's so random. Unless you have form for lazy big chunks of carrot.
Oh and onion should be first, what's he on about?
Have you got more examples OP?

That's not advice. Advice is given a. When asked for and b. In situations where someone doesn't know what to do or is doing something new for the first time, or where someone is doing something that might hurt them or others. What he is doing is patronising you and passively aggressively implying you're shit at cooking

I wish there was a You Are SO NOT Being Unreasonable vote because I would have clicked it!

Also I grate the carrot , much quicker and can then be added after the onion

Annoyed on your behalf.

Ooh - that would make me very cross. Very cross indeed. So cross in fact, that I would have to reply with "I'll cook it however I bloody well want to, and if you don't like it then you can cook all your own meals from now on."

Id tell him to stfu, and be done with it

Carrot doesn't belong in spaghetti Bolognese so he's talking out of his arse (I absolutely put it in mine, but since he's being a picky cunt...)

At risk of sounding like your DH I’d grate the carrot. It’s much less faff 😋

Well it kind of does because the base of any good bolognese is a soffrito - carrots, onion & celery finely chopped etc etc. However - what OP should do is what theresastormcoming said.

He is the normal cook by the way. It's his one thing he does in the house. And he acts like he owns it now. But he does this with lots of things. For example asking why I've bought this or that for the kids or saying I should have bought another pair of school shoes etc. He alwsya says 'it's not a big deal, am i not allowd to give my opinion' which seems fair enough - but it just winds me up. i work full time and have enough on my plate and the advice just seems patronising to me.

Yanbu mine likes to end monologues with “does that make sense?” Every. Single. Time.

Fry the onion first and see if he notices.

Urgh. Tell him he's becoming a mansplaining twat

I put yabu because it seems a bit petty to get wound up about and I always say things like that as well.

Massive chunky carrots it is! (Although I'm petty)

I like your thinking.

Just smile and nod, make hm noises and do it your own way. Surely he is advising not mandating. The amazing thing about advice is that you can just ignore it.

For example asking why I've bought this or that for the kids or saying I should have bought another pair of school shoes etc

Mr Know It All would get zero answer from me. I'm good at maintaining absolute silence in the presence of pointlessness. He may get a quick "OK you do it then" if I felt inclined but that's it.

Oh y s I would go down the massive chunky carrots route 😅