Am I being defensive or would you find my DH adivce annoying too?

[EasierThanTherapy]

DH gives me little bits of 'advice' constantly.

An example today. DH called to say he won't be able to cook dinner tonight as he's not back until later. I said - no problems, I do a bolognase for when you get back (we need to eat the mince, it's TOO HOT for spag bol I know).

And he says "thanks. make sure you cut the carrot really small and and fry it before the onion. bye"

Says it totally politely, but it riles me up. He gives me these little things like this at least once a day.

I feel like a cow getting riled up as it's so minor but it always winds me up.

Am I being unreasonable/weird?

True however mushrooms are great in a veggie or vegan bolognaise, they give it a meaty flavour! One of my faves is bolognaise made with lentils, walnuts and mushrooms (and carrots, obvs)

long story short - these are top tips from viz which should help your (d) h navigate life tomorrow.

MOTORISTS: When going through a speed camera, flash your lights twice quickly and watch the driver in front hit his brakes when he thinks he's been caught.

BANGING two pistachio nut shells together gives the' impression a very small horse' is approaching.
DON'T waste money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and I hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.
CINEMAGOERS: Have consideration for pirate DVD viewers by using the toilet before the film starts.
DRIVERS: If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send them on their way.
PREVENT burglars stealing everything in the house by moving everything into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, move it all back again.
CAR THIEVES: Don't be discouraged if nothing is on view. The valuables may be hidden in the glove box or under a seat.
RAPPERS: Avoid having to say: "Know what I'm sayin'" all the time by actually speaking clearly in the first place.
SHOES last twice as long if only worn every other day.
SINGLE MEN: Convince people you have a girlfriend by standing outside Topshop with bags of shopping, looking at your watch and occasionally glancing inside.
EMPLOYEES: Only use the loo at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid.
SCROOGES: Save money at Christmas by returning last year's cards to the sender with the simple inscription "Same to you".
MICRA DRIVERS: Attach a lighted sparkler to the roof of your car before starting a long journey. You drive the thing like a sodding dodgem car anyway.
ANGLERS: Attach a helium balloon to your line and bait the hook with an acorn. Then sit under a tree and "fish" for squirrels. An upturned laundry basket would make an ideal keep-net, but don't forget to throw the squirrels back into the tree at the end of the day.
SINGLE MEN: Get a glimpse of married life by taping Woman's Hour on Radio 4, then playing it back at a higher volume than the TV while trying to watch something on Discovery Wings.
TIGHT-ARSED blokes: Only date girls called Natalie, Carol, Holly or Eve. Chances are their birthday is around Christmas and you won't have to shell out for a present until then, by which time they will have chucked you.
BOIL an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping it into boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60mph. After three miles, phone your wife to take the egg out the pan.
SHOPPERS: Take one grape to the till. It won't register on the low-tech, insensitive scales so you will get it for free. Repeat this procedure 100 times or so and you have yourself a free bunch of grapes.
McDONALD'S: Make your brown carrier bags green so they blend in with the countryside after they've been thrown out of car windows.
A POST-IT Note stuck beneath the nose is an ideal way to foil lip-readers.
AMERICANS: Save valuable time by not pending "God bless America" to your every sentence.
TOWN COUNCILS: Reduce litter problems by issuing blind folk with pointy sticks.
WHEN visiting a motorway service station for a cup of tea and a slice of cake, make sure you arrange your bank loan or second mortgage before you get to the tills, saving time and embarrassment.
CYCLISTS: Avoid getting a sore behind by simply placing a naan bread over your saddle. This will comfort your ride and when you return home, hey presto! A warm snack.
HOUSEWIVES: Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment, circle the soiled area with a permanent pen so that when you remove it from the washing machine you can check the stain has gone.
SKY TV viewers: Avoid repetitive strain injury by holding down the "prog+" button on your remote control and taping your finger in place.
YOUNG mothers: Calm hysterically crying children in the supermarket by firmly slapping their legs and then tugging them along by the wrist.
PHILANDERERS: Avoid the embarrassment of shouting out the wrong name in bed by having flings only with girls who have the same name as your wife.
FOOTBALLERS: Remember there is plenty of time to get drunk after your playing career has ended.
HORSE whisperers: Speak louder. The animals will hear you more clearly, thus speeding up training times.

GAMBLERS: For a new gambling opportunity, try sending £50 to yourself by Royal Mail.
EMPLOYERS: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the CVs into the bin.

MEN: When listening to your favourite CD, simply turn up the sound to the volume you desire - then turn it down three notches. This saves your wife having to do it.
DRIVERS: Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone while driving. Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea.
CINEMAGOERS: Have consideration for pirate DVD viewers by using the toilet before the film starts.
DRIVERS: If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send them on their way.
PREVENT burglars stealing everything in the house by moving everything into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, move it all back again.
CAR THIEVES: Don't be discouraged if nothing is on view. The valuables may be hidden in the glove box or under a seat.
RAPPERS: Avoid having to say: "Know what I'm sayin'" all the time by actually speaking clearly in the first place.
SHOES last twice as long if only worn every other day.
SINGLE MEN: Convince people you have a girlfriend by standing outside Topshop with bags of shopping, looking at your watch and occasionally glancing inside.
EMPLOYEES: Only use the loo at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid.
SCROOGES: Save money at Christmas by returning last year's cards to the sender with the simple inscription "Same to you".
MICRA DRIVERS: Attach a lighted sparkler to the roof of your car before starting a long journey. You drive the thing like a sodding dodgem car anyway.
ANGLERS: Attach a helium balloon to your line and bait the hook with an acorn. Then sit under a tree and "fish" for squirrels. An upturned laundry basket would make an ideal keep-net, but don't forget to throw the squirrels back into the tree at the end of the day.
SINGLE MEN: Get a glimpse of married life by taping Woman's Hour on Radio 4, then playing it back at a higher volume than the TV while trying to watch something on Discovery Wings.
TIGHT-ARSED blokes: Only date girls called Natalie, Carol, Holly or Eve. Chances are their birthday is around Christmas and you won't have to shell out for a present until then, by which time they will have chucked you.
BOIL an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping it into boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60mph. After three miles, phone your wife to take the egg out the pan.
SHOPPERS: Take one grape to the till. It won't register on the low-tech, insensitive scales so you will get it for free. Repeat this procedure 100 times or so and you have yourself a free bunch of grapes.
McDONALD'S: Make your brown carrier bags green so they blend in with the countryside after they've been thrown out of car windows.
A POST-IT Note stuck beneath the nose is an ideal way to foil lip-readers.
AMERICANS: Save valuable time by not pending "God bless America" to your every sentence.
TOWN COUNCILS: Reduce litter problems by issuing blind folk with pointy sticks.
WHEN visiting a motorway service station for a cup of tea and a slice of cake, make sure you arrange your bank loan or second mortgage before you get to the tills, saving time and embarrassment.
CYCLISTS: Avoid getting a sore behind by simply placing a naan bread over your saddle. This will comfort your ride and when you return home, hey presto! A warm snack.
HOUSEWIVES: Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment, circle the soiled area with a permanent pen so that when you remove it from the washing machine you can check the stain has gone.
SKY TV viewers: Avoid repetitive strain injury by holding down the "prog+" button on your remote control and taping your finger in place.
YOUNG mothers: Calm hysterically crying children in the supermarket by firmly slapping their legs and then tugging them along by the wrist.
PHILANDERERS: Avoid the embarrassment of shouting out the wrong name in bed by having flings only with girls who have the same name as your wife.
FOOTBALLERS: Remember there is plenty of time to get drunk after your playing career has ended.
HORSE whisperers: Speak louder. The animals will hear you more clearly, thus speeding up training times.

FEMALE shop assistants: When a garage mechanic comes to your till, add on a selection of random items they didn't know they needed and charge them s50 labour costs for the transaction.
SINGLE MEN: Fool folk into thinking you've got a girlfriend by standing outside Topshop with loads of bags

Husband will ask me to cook one of the things he really enjoys and knows I do well. Will then suggest how I should be doing it.

I remind him that I do it better than him and if I take his advice he'll be eating his inferior version.

YANBU .

I don’t put carrots in my bolognaise and after his comment I would advise you to leave them out too. His attitude is domineering and insulting. Ignore him, correct him and maybe leave him to do it himself.

depends if they are competent in having done the task before or if they make errors with it regularly

Next time he asks if he's allowed an opinion say no.

No, you're not and I don't want your unsolicited advice, it's patronising and it makes me like you a bit less every time you do it.

Also stop letting him get away with only doing the cooking.

And yes to the whole carrot served on top. Or shoved up his arse. Either way should make the point nicely.

You could give him 'tips' on his cooking. If he looks frustrated say you're allowed an opinion.

Okay you win at pedantry. But still, he's not saying "make sure you spend several hours making soffrito". He's being a picky twat about incorrectly (technically!) wanging carrot in a Bolognese. Which isn't how it's supposed to be done, so he can get to fuck with his wrong advice. He can make it himself if he's that bothered. I used to date someone who would tell me to remove every bit of pith from peppers because it's bitter and he could taste it. He couldn't 🥴

That was meant to quote someone 😂

Thanks everyone! I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets annoyed at this.

I'm afraid I just made spaghetti bol. No massive carrot or salad. I did check with him that the carrots were cooked a tad sarcastically and he did a "wow you're sensitive" type comment. And then said something about my hormones and the heat.

He started telling me I need to be more of a "bitch" at work and stop pandering to people tonight. He doesn't know what he's on about. Just like the spag bol.

Problem is he thinks I'm sensitive for not listening to his advice. But if I say don't want his advice he gets so defensive himself.

Sometimes he'll test me on what words mean randomly. I mean...come on

My DH sometimes randomly checks I know what words mean. It’s annoying. I have a degree in two languages. Some really good suggestions here.

I would go nuclear

He's shutting you down.

Ask him why he’s got an inferiority complex.

Next time he asks you what a word means, say ‘it means fry the camrrot first’.

If DH did that I'd do the opposite of what he suggests.
He reminds me to leave the key under the flower pot nearly every time I go out but I did forget a few times - he has too but conveniently forgets that.
When he retired he helpfully gave me tips on how to arrange things in the fridge, bought sharp knives to further clutter the cutlery drawer and other helpful stuff that I hadn't learned during my 40 odd years of running the home (with 0 help from him).
I would completely lose it a few times - magically they suddenly think twice before spouting forth.
He is an arrogant, supercilious TWAT.
Blaming your hormones!
All these sneaky suggestions to 'get one over on him' above are not enough he is a seriously unpleasant man, treating you as some inferior being. Get tough OP.

I starched all of his underpants, just enough so they would feel crunchy but not enough for him to notice when he put them on. 30 years without ironing now.

This depends.

my husband made a spag bowl
and made the carrots so big I thought I was eating a roast dinner!!! Plus kids will never eat that.

so I told him when he did it again to cut them smaller

That has pissed me off just reading it. Very patronising!! I couldn’t let him do it without saying something back. It’s a damn cheek. Do you like your carrot chunkier than him?

Try doing it back to him. Every morning given him some patronising piece of advice, e.g. "Remember to look in the mirror before you manoeuvre"; "Remember to turn your lights on when it gets dark,"; "Remember to check your emails"; "Remember to pay for anything you buy before you leave the shop". When he gets annoyed, tell him he's hormonal.

It's not advice, it's instruction. He's a micromanager.

Sometimes he'll test me on what words mean randomly. I mean...come on

I hope you respond with "It means Fuck Off and stop patronising me" every time.

i could not put up with this (and I’m generally pretty passive). He’s using the “you’re too sensitive”/ getting upset etc to shut you down so he can continue to advise you so that you feel like his subordinate. I’d suggest calling it out every single time and ignoring the “too sensitive” stuff. The ridiculousness of a man who is so sensitive he gets upset if he’s not allowed to give his wife useless advice calling you sensitive for reacting to what basically amounts to constant criticism!

Or just say literally nothing in response to any unsolicited advice and change the subject.

@ChocolateCinderToffee that made me really laugh. Thank you 😊

I finely chop the onion in the food processor, then grate the carrot in there as well, and cook both together.

If it annoys you that much, why don’t you tell him to STFU when he does it. I would.