Mrs and Mr Smith

[Oysterbabe]

When I write client letters I always put the woman's name first in the address and write
Dear Mrs & Mr Smith. The letters have to be checked before posting and my boss always swaps the names back because 'it doesn't flow properly'
AIBU for always writing the woman's name first?

In 2019 Thomas Cook (RIP) changed my husband to lead passenger even though I'd listed myself, paid with my credit card and used my email address. To add insult to injury they then sent a confirmation to my email addressed to Dear Mr Husband.

Another one - the Land Registry. I was sole owner of a flat. Boyfriend moved in. We got married (didn't change my name). Added him to the title. They put his name first even though I'd owned it alone for years.

When we bought our latest house, like another pp I was the main earner and the mortgage offer put my name first as the offer was tied to my salary not his. I also paid most of the large deposit out of my personal savings. I watched with interest to see how the Land Registry would register the title. Yep, him first again. Then there was a surplus on the client account with our solicitor. They sent a cheque made payable to my husband ONLY despite dealing with me for the whole transaction (I'm a solicitor myself). Both conveyancer and her assistant were female. I did complain about that and heard nothing at all in response.

Despite all that I'd struggle with saying Mrs and Mr! But I think as another poster said, someone who's taken her husband's name isn't likely to be concerned. I suppose because he "had the name first".

Unless the wife can prove a higher professional/social standing with a recognised honorific- it’s like the order of precedence at court or in C18th and pre-C18th social settings. If a woman had a higher rank, she would sit down before the lower ranking man. I’m not sure that’s more comfortable than the sex-based assumptions but there you go.

i always put my person first on a card. so for my brother, i put his name first. for dh's sister I put her name first

What part of “that’s probably true today, but years ago that’s how they did it” do you not get. I’m 60 and I clearly remember there being dots after things like Mr and Mrs YEARS AGO!

You’re sounding like a stuck record now.

Nah, the odd comment on here whilst waiting for my kids is not the same as systematically changing every single letter I send out at work is it now? 🤣

Not sure I trust this source due to the use of 'husbands'.

with all this time on your hands, perhaps you could make substantive change instead of handmaidening it whilst shouldering the burden of childcare. Mothers load and all that.

1600 posts under your name. That’s a heck of a lot of “odd comments here and there” @Tessabelle74

😂

For me the interesting part of the Op is that she’s concerned about the order of Mrs/Mr but not the fact that her boss feels the need to check every piece of correspondence she sends out under her name!

@Strawberryboost well that depends on what they do and company policy.

Many businesses will have reports etc checked by a supervisor or just a second pair of eyes before they are issued to a customer.

I remember it too. Glad to know we're not both going mad!

But checking everything?

Anything that includes legal advice, especially if written by an unqualified person working under supervision, yes (we're not lawyers, but provide a lawyer like service on some specific regulations and it's the rules under which we operate).

Anything providing legal advice shouldn’t be issues from someone unqualified to do so 😐

No, it would be prepared by someone unqualified and then checked/signed out by the necessary person.

I work in accountancy and check all letters/emails prepared by juniors, even if not technical. It’s not unusual ☺️

But they're working under supervision, hence the checking. It's standard in the industry and approved by the regulator.

It's completely normal in my line of work. A second pair of eyes to sense check because there's a lot of specific details that need to be correct.

So the letter would be from you?

I know letters are peer reviewed in law, but they are not issued to the client from someone not qualified to give legal advice

they may be written by someone unqualified but The letter is checked and issued by the qualified accountant / lawyer

Well maybe other industries operate differently to the legal profession?

Yeah if it’s from me I obviously need to see it!

But we also check most emails being sent by juniors themselves - just for grammar/typos etc. They don’t often do letters but if they did I would check them too.

I’ll often get a four eyes check on my letters/emails too if they are long or technical!

Oooh my very own stalker, only taken +1600 comments to get one! How exciting 😁

a client will receive letter containing legal advice from someone unqualified to do so (yes checked but their name at the bottom of the letter?)

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takes a second

although someone with 1600 posts under their belt (oh just the “odd comment” 😂) would know that!

The OP made clear these letters are being sent out signed by her