Days out, wanky names, and whining kids

[Tonightsthenight91]

I know ibu and this is a light hearted ish thread. Feeling riled after yesterdays and todays outings.

yesterday went out to a popular attraction with my DC. Very busy with it being last day of summer holidays for most. Today to a local park, some schools have gone back near us and some haven’t.

Both times - EVERYWHERE there were kids crying, whining, parents flustered, kids having tantrums and/or injuring themselves. Sometimes I take a step back and observe scenes like these and think WHY do we do it to ourselves? It seems the vast majority of parents are stressed up to their eyeballs on days out with kids that can’t seem to be pleased. Watching parents struggle whilst sun cream gets slapped on, soggy picnic sarnies, ice creams attracting wasps.

Then there’s the insta mum brigade trying to keep everyone picture perfect for photo shoots getting worked up when their kids aren’t Co-operating shouting at their oh-so-uniquely-named kids to pose/keep clean/don’t go in the mud/hug their sibling. Ugghhh it’s draining to even overhear never mind be in it!

every time kids are around I’m silently cringing at the “unique” name trend some parents seem to be on. Do people not realise the more unique they try to sound they ironically appear more common in the try hard to be different group?! Some that stood out to me were “kitch” 3 siblings called “blue beaux and B” “winter” “Adonis” and the best of all “darling dolce” 🙃

I know iabu I’m just grumpy after a long 6 weeks and sick of having to do child friendly stuff every day. Roll on Wednesday when my DC are back 😂

I heard a mum call her kid ‘Adventure’ last week 🤣

I have never like dull names like Eleanor and Sarah or Jonathon, so actually prefer more creativity. A dull name can have the same or a worse impact than an unusual one.

"dull " 🙄

That's what 6 weeks off does. Whoever thought of the 6 weeks holidays didn't have kids or was a teacher 🤣

I have a name that sounds normal but spelt weird and I hated it until I was in my 20s.

About the tantrums- would just like be the SEND parent and say don't judge ! Please ! We are embarrassed and probably screaming inside with frustration. My daughter to any stranger behaves like a spoilt brat, however she has ADHD and high anxiety and her behaviour is noisy and aggressive, usually because she is overwhelmed. My son is autistic, he doesn't really understand that other children have their own thoughts and wants, and therefore finds sharing and following unwritten rules very very difficult. This summer he was reduced to terrified tears when a man yelled at him for going up a slide ( I cannot be in multiple places at one time).

To the extreme that both my SEND kids wear lanyards with cards detailing their issues to try and deter parents from intervening or complaining in earshot because its an utterly shit feeling.

They all have boring normal names.

It’s short for Edward. At least for the kids I know.

I read a newspaper article very recently that suggested that parents who know that their children are unlikely to own much throughout their lives (think cars, houses etc) give them unusual/invented names to make sure that they at least have one individual thing of their own. It was suggested that their name may even be 50% of what they will own. “You may not have much but at least you have a unique name.”

My brother is called Nigel. He was born in 1966 when England had just won the World Cup and my Dad was berated for calling him that at work. People said he should be called after a footballer. I’m not sure it was the easiest name to grow up with, but he managed and is still called Nigel, a really rare name. I’m so glad my parents stuck to their guns because I couldn’t imagine him called anything else. My SIL insisted they call their son Nigel as a second given name.

😂

You need to be really careful if you use her real birth name to people. It can make a child identifiable and at risk.

Of what, and how, and how does one disclose a child’s name carefully as opposed to non carefully?

Didn't know this is such an emotive subject (or is it end of summer holiday fray nerve?) I don't have school age kids actually. Having heard from parents complaining about how they struggle to entertain / engage their children and how they struggle to balance childcare with work commitment, including many on this thread. I just wanted to suggest a debate on the merits of long summer school holiday. I'm not after anything, certainly not free child care, rest assure.

It's so hard to find suitable entertainment for autistic kids. Most low stimulation autism friendly environments are just that, low stimulation and not much fun for kids. I feel for you. Sending you hugs and strength.

People moan about the long summer holidays, too expensive, kids are bored, bla bla.

But really make them shorter causes a zillion others issues.
Most employers have a maximum of x many staff off at the same time. That causes issues for two parents trying to get 2 weeks of at the same time. I know couples who already struggle to get the same two weeks off.

Kids need a break from homework and schooling. And time to do stuff away from school. Lots of sports competitions happen over summer.

People with family overseas need time to actually get there and have quality time with family.

Maintenance work gets done in schools over summer.

Teachers salary/ hourly rate doesn't include the summer holiday. They'd need paid more.

The holidays is a huge attraction to the teaching profession.

The UK tourist industry would have an even shorter season so holidays will become only for monies people
I'm sure they'll be more reasons why it's a bad idea

I am that flustered mum who looks close to tears and can’t keep up with her kids. I’m normally running behind them with a pushchair begging them not to hit each other or pick up a dog poo. The packed lunch I lovingly prepared smeared over them and me. At least one child whinging.

I always ask myself “why do I do this to myself?” when I’m out. And then on a “stay home day” I remember they are twice as batshit at home and at least if we’ve been out for the day they will be knackered enough for an earlier bedtime AND I won’t have to tidy up because we haven’t been in the house to trash it.

You are doing a grand job, and one day you will look back and remember the dog poo, the stress, the funny moments with tears in your eyes and kind of wish for it back and the messy muddled life that comes with little children

Unfortunately, this isn't true. I was bullied horrendously. I've got one of the more unpronounceable Gaelic names. The shortening I invariably get would have you mercilessly teased over in Ireland.

Adonis might be a great name for a little boy but what if he grows up to have a face for radio? What if little Nellie becomes overweight? She'll invariably get called 'Nellie the Elephant' and it'll likely affect her forever. That's why I always cringe when I see threads about 'baby names'. They will spend a good 60 or 70 years as a fully grown adult.

Everything was believable until you made the names up :D

if they are talking loud it’s probably because the kid is massively over stimulated with all the stuff in the supermarket and the parent is trying to make sure they listen.

My older kids grew up before Instagram but the 'keep those shoes clean' and 'stay out of the mud' mums very much existed and I always felt so sorry for their kids while mine were fully immersed in the forest/river/sea mud.
I think many kids now have less tolerance for outside stuff because they spend much more time plugged in. I've been a teacher for 25 years and have definitely seen a downward trend in children's ability to amuse themselves outdoors.
And the names, oh yes, they're wonderful and so unique 😂

You need to be careful because it can mean a birth family could track the child down, especially if the name is unusual. Some adopted children have been removed from their birth family for good reason.

As for how you disclose a child's name "carefully" the answer is that you don't. Especially not on a large social media site. It might be OK within close family or friends but not announcing a very unusual name on Mumsnet!

Remember all of our names were unique once, they are socially constructed (like most things),
someone somewhere once thought John smith was a strange name I’m sure

Several thousand years ago maybe.

Does that matter? It just means society keeps evolving and norms keep changing. People just need to live their own lives and let people be happy. Especially when what other people do has no affect on them

Using your kids for a public instagram absolutely agree.

However there are other reasons to share - for instance my entire family & most of my friends are abroad. If I don't share photos of my kids they miss out. I have nearly 20 uncles/aunts all with 5 kids, all married, so sending photos individually is not a thing and it's the only way to keep them updated.

In terms of names, I don't get it, but equally don't care unless I'm asked my opinion 😂 The harder bit is meeting an Adonis as an adult - especially one who doesn't reflect his name sake 😂