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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Make up

433 replies

ettieb · 04/09/2023 08:17

Do you wear make up every day? I do...I know I look better and younger when I wear it and feel so much better. I know so many people who don't wear make up on a daily basis who look stunning when they put make up on to go out. Why wouldn't you want to look the best you can all the time? It doesn't need to take a lot of time...5 mins for basic eye liner..mascara.. blusher and lipstick...I have a friend in her 60s and if we go out she wears lipstick and mascara and looks 20 years younger! I also would wear make up if I'm just at home hanging out with my DP...I want to look my best for him. I find it baffling that people will do their hair and make up to go out with with work colleagues but don't do the same on a daily basis for their partner...

OP posts:
IHeartGeneHunt · 05/09/2023 11:53

I actually once tried lard on my face after reading how good it is for your skin. The dog wouldn't leave me alone. Never again.

dreamcatchmee · 05/09/2023 11:55

I used to wear make up every day, stopped a couple years ago.
I love make up, I do like wearing it, but I also like the way I look without it and feel confident so I don't spend the time on it anymore.
I don't dress for others and lots of people think my clothes are a bit weird, but again I wear what makes me smile and makes me feel happy.

I think it's absolutely fine to wear make up all the time if it makes you happy and fine not to. I don't usually notice what my friends are doing with their make up and hair when we meet up.

marblesthecat · 05/09/2023 11:55

IHeartGeneHunt · 05/09/2023 11:53

I actually once tried lard on my face after reading how good it is for your skin. The dog wouldn't leave me alone. Never again.

One of my dogs goes crazy for migraine strips and tries to take them off my head to lick them.

dreamcatchmee · 05/09/2023 11:56

I'd like to add to my PP that although I don't wear make up daily, I do always have my nails done as I really like it!

SirenSays · 05/09/2023 11:58

I like wearing make up. I like the peaceful me time in a morning to do my make up. I like extreme gory sfx or costume make up too.

I still never wear make up around the house when it's just me and my DH. He finds me attractive without it and my make up is expensive and precisely done, it doesn't need to be smeared around during kisses and cuddles

ToughFuss · 05/09/2023 11:59

IHeartGeneHunt · 05/09/2023 11:53

I actually once tried lard on my face after reading how good it is for your skin. The dog wouldn't leave me alone. Never again.

How we suffer for beauty 😂

CoalCraft · 05/09/2023 12:01

Comedycook · 05/09/2023 10:58

So you never get your hair cut @CoalCraft ?

Nope, I haven't had it cut in five years. It's at its natural length now, about halfway down my back. I'd have it longer if I could!

MissTrip82 · 05/09/2023 12:04

I wear makeup every day. I think I look better with it. But I don’t think my husband needs to wear it…..this is how I know I’ve been conditioned socially to wear makeup. I’d have to be very stupid indeed not to realise this. If his face doesn’t look ‘tired’ or undone without makeuo, why does mine? Answer: it doesn’t.

There’s plenty of internalised misogyny on the other side too of course - the disdain for a ‘face full’ of ‘slap’ or ‘goop’ or the sly comments that you’d assume a women wearing makeup was (gasp) ‘older’ or ‘insecure’ etc doesn’t come from a place of empowerment either.

HeatherMoores · 05/09/2023 12:12

I know so many people who don't wear make up on a daily basis who look stunning when they put make up on to go out. Why wouldn't you want to look the best you can all the time?

Because, some people may look stunning when they put make up on to go out, but many of those people also think they look absolutely fine and ok without it and just as attractive to their partners. Your face without make up is the real you and many people’s parterres are attracted to that.

Also you could ask the same about going out clothes. If you look so stunning when you go out, why not wear those clothes every day? Because it’s unpractical, expensive, time consuming and unnecessary to present like that all the time!

BIossomtoes · 05/09/2023 12:22

See I don’t have “going out” clothes either - apart from glittery evening garments. I want to get my money’s worth out of my clothes so I wear them all the time.

Edited to add that it takes the same amount of time to get dressed whatever clothes you wear so time doesn’t come into it.

bryceQ · 05/09/2023 12:28

I'm not interested in makeup but i love skincare products and that part of my evening is very important to me. It feels lovely to massage my face and i love waking up glowing.

phoenixrosehere · 05/09/2023 13:20

Dreemhouse · 05/09/2023 10:39

How do those who don’t wear makeup feel about dying their hair/styling their hair, having their nails done/other aesthetic things? Genuine question. A lady I worked with had the most beautiful skin, didn’t wear any makeup at all but would regularly have her nails and hair done. I wonder if there is a difference between doing your own makeup, or having somebody else do your nails and hair which maybe feels more like pampering. I personally love doing makeup but I understand it might not be enjoyable for others. Hate styling my hair!

Nails are done professionally maybe 3x a year if that. Think I had them done once this year due to a sale on a healthier alternative to gel nails I wanted to try (bond builder, I think). I have tried gel nails once and didn’t like the take down and don’t want to damage my nails. I have naturally long, healthy nails that I trim and keep clean. They look lovely without nail polish. With gardening and simple household cleaning and chores, they just get chipped when I wear nail polish and then I get annoyed by how it looks so happy to do without and I don’t think the cost is worth it because of it.

My hair however is a different story. I have four different hair types in my head and it takes 4+ hours for me to do my own including styling due to hypermobility in my hands (my fingers will move out of alignment with too much repetitive motion). I enjoy going and having my hair done because it takes the stress off my hands and arms and I get to catch up with my hair stylist. I usually see her 5 times a year, but this year it has only been once due to illness and no openings on her end.

When it comes to beauty, usually spend more on hair appts, skincare second and lip stains (only make-up I buy) third. Skincare products purchased maybe a handful of times a year and lip stains 1-2 a year (all during sales)

Tootsweets84 · 05/09/2023 13:23

I wear makeup sporadically. Id I'm out and about I like the way it looks, but if I'm just at home or popping out to the shops I don't. I like the feel of a clean face better. I also don't wear makeup 'for my husband' because he likes my face the way it is. If he didn't I wouldn't be with him. Actually, he tells me I'm more beautiful without it

marblesthecat · 05/09/2023 13:35

bryceQ · 05/09/2023 12:28

I'm not interested in makeup but i love skincare products and that part of my evening is very important to me. It feels lovely to massage my face and i love waking up glowing.

Same. I do wear basic makeup if I'm going out but I don't get joy out of it like I do with skincare.

bryceQ · 05/09/2023 14:01

@marblesthecat

Best part of make up is cleaning it off with a lovely balm! So satisfying

andrainwillmaketheflowersgrow · 05/09/2023 14:03

BIossomtoes · 05/09/2023 11:44

Well done @andrainwillmaketheflowersgrow. You’re currently the front runner in the “I don’t give a shit about my appearance” competition. Doubtless someone will be along in a minute claiming they wash their face with a Brillo pad and moisturise with lard.

Where did I say I didn't give a shit about my appearance? Confused

You're just making shit up now. You can care about what you look like without needing to visit the hairdresser or pay someone to do your nails.

andrainwillmaketheflowersgrow · 05/09/2023 14:06

Comedycook · 05/09/2023 11:52

I think it's a bit of a myth that beauty treatments are relaxing and enjoyable. I think most of us find them a chore. I go to the hairdressers but I absolutely hate it. I hate looking a mess more though!

My mum is one of those people who loves a pamper - she can spend hours in the hairdresser and gets her nails done every 2-3 weeks. I can't think of anything worse Grin

It's nothing to do with "not giving a shit" (as PP so delightfully said) and everything to do with sensory overload. I cannot stand people touching my hair or playing with my hands. I find it incredibly overwhelming and it genuinely makes me want to scream, lol.

I do it myself at home because it gives me control.

MammaTill2Pojkar · 05/09/2023 15:12

ettieb · 04/09/2023 11:43

I think it's interesting that people who have replied to the part of my post about putting on make up for my DP think it's because he makes me or I'm a 50s housewife. He couldn't give a toss what I do.. but I love him and he loves me and I want to look as attractive as I can for him... the attraction is part of a relationship and important. I would be interested to know how many married mumsnetters wore make up on their wedding day... if you did.. surely it was too look your best and wouldn't you want to continue to do this?

My husband actually prefers me without make up, he is not a fan of make up and neither am I, especially heavy caked on layers of make up. Very light make up is okay, but I don't have the time to faff around doing that daily so it's just for special occasions such as our wedding day, literally just had some mascara, eye shadow and lip stick for that. So I am looking my best as far as he is concerned when I don't wear make up. I also feel like I am hiding my true self with make up, not enhancing myself, but being a fake version of myself.

pinkyredrose · 05/09/2023 15:14

IHeartGeneHunt · 04/09/2023 08:42

Mascara, because I have white hair and grey eyes and without it I look like an albino woodlouse.

😂

Comedycook · 05/09/2023 15:19

Am I the only one who when a woman says "my husband prefers me without make up" thinks, yeah sure he does?! 😂

favouriteyellowsocks · 05/09/2023 15:21

I agree with everything @VeridicalVagabond said.

Curseofthenation · 05/09/2023 15:25

I wear make-up every day, but only spend 5 minutes applying it. Factor 50 sunscreen as a base, light foundation, eyeliner and light eyebrow pencil. I put the same make-up on no matter the day, for me.

Pre-kids I would go out to do a sport with friends in the early hours. I wouldn't bother wearing make-up for that as I'd come home, shower and then apply it.

Heavy make-up is definitely very ageing now though. I think this is mainly the case as a natural look is more fashionable at the moment. Obvious make-up can look very dated.

Comedycook · 05/09/2023 15:28

I think this is mainly the case as a natural look is more fashionable at the moment

I don't think it is at all.

Meadowflower2023 · 05/09/2023 15:39

Regholdsworthswaterbed · 05/09/2023 11:17

I can't stand these threads, it's ends up as a competition as to who is the most low maintenance. You also get the patronising make up free crowd judging those of us who do wear it, making out like anyone who wears a bit of lippy is brainwashed and stupid. Bore off.

👏🏼

Lampzade · 05/09/2023 15:47

Comedycook · 05/09/2023 15:19

Am I the only one who when a woman says "my husband prefers me without make up" thinks, yeah sure he does?! 😂

No, you are not the only one