Make up

[ettieb]

Do you wear make up every day? I do...I know I look better and younger when I wear it and feel so much better. I know so many people who don't wear make up on a daily basis who look stunning when they put make up on to go out. Why wouldn't you want to look the best you can all the time? It doesn't need to take a lot of time...5 mins for basic eye liner..mascara.. blusher and lipstick...I have a friend in her 60s and if we go out she wears lipstick and mascara and looks 20 years younger! I also would wear make up if I'm just at home hanging out with my DP...I want to look my best for him. I find it baffling that people will do their hair and make up to go out with with work colleagues but don't do the same on a daily basis for their partner...

@cardibach Do men in your role wear it so they can present ‘a good, polished look’?
Or are they considered professional without it?
The only job in which your answer would be ‘yes’ is something involving tv or performing, which is rather different from a ‘normal’ life or job. People in those jobs actually need make up because of the lights. Most of us don’t have to contend with the flattening effects of strong lighting (or if we occasionally do, it doesn’t matter).
So. Tv/stage so irrelevant Leila, or do men manage your role without make up?

Well I imagine the men in her role do other regular grooming that the poster doesn't have to do - daily shaving, month haircuts etc, so it is swings and roundabouts. There are also typical professional standards for men.

That's actually a very good point. A couple of weeks ago someone started a thread asking why so many people don't use the English language properly and was called judgey/snobby etc

For the last time, it doesn't have to make up OR clever/interesting/engaging conversation.

I realise OP put people's backs up by implying that they weren't looking their best without make up but that's no reason to imply that those with make up aren't intellectually their best either.

I wasn't implying it was an either/or situation at all.

I'm pointing out that these expectations (and threads) are only ever around looks and not other ways to spend our time.

@fruitstick apologies if that wasn't your intention. I think it just gets my back up as it is a general theme that women who do like make up/nail varnish etc are incapable of broader thought. I think I said further up thread that I've had to have words with make teachers who have said to girls I taught that "clever girls" shouldn't care about mascara.

I find the language that has been thrown at those of us that do choose to wear make up often insulting. That said, I can see that the OPs own turn of phrase has led to a bit of tit for tat.

I haven’t worn makeup properly since I was 25 (now 49). I know when I stopped and it was actually something my husband said to me when we first started dating. He said he loved the fact that I wasn’t always caked in makeup. I met him at work and I didn’t tend to wear much makeup as I was too rushed in a morning and it was all worn off by the end of the day anyway. I might stick some lipstick on occasionally. Maybe some
blusher if I’m looking washed out but that’s it.
I don’t get the false lashes, fish lips, and highlighter craze at all. I also don’t understand why ‘looking your best’ means not looking like yourself and looking much younger than you are. I’m often told I don’t look my age but that’s not my aim in life. And to the OP I would say, what does your husband to to look his best for you? What effort is he going to for you? I can’t help but think you sound a little scared that I’d you don’t look like you did all those years ago he won’t want you any more and that makes me sad and also grateful to my husband of 21 years who has never made me feel that way.

Are you also sceptical when women say they prefer their husbands without makeup? Because it’s exactly the same.

My DP likes my face, finds it attractive, and prefers it when my face looks like my face. Why do you find that such a radical idea? I would find it strange to be with someone who didn’t like my face. He also doesn’t like the feel of makeup and will avoid kissing me and touching my face if I’m wearing it.

(And no, he’s not drooling over heavily made up models on insta/OF. He doesn’t even use social media.)

Are you also sceptical when women say they prefer their husbands without makeup? Because it’s exactly the same.

It's not "exactly" the same, because we have all sorts of cultural beauty norms and men wearing makeup don't tend to fit them. I would find my dh less attractive if he wore make up.

Why wouldn't you want to look the best you can all the time?

Because not everyone thinks looks are important.

I wear makeup most days. I like the way I look with makeup on and, for the most part, I quite enjoy putting it in on. However, I don't feel the need to 'look the best I can all the time'. If I really wanted to 'look the best I can all the time' I would do a full face of makeup every day, touch it up every couple of hours, and wear a dress, heels and shapewear every day. But I don't because a) style is about what's appropriate for the occasion and b) there are things that are more important to me than looking perfect every day. Sometimes I want to give my skin a rest. Sometimes I'm going for a run or digging the garden over or chilling out in the garden with a cold drink and a book.

Saying that it's weird to wear a full face of makeup at work but not for relaxing at home with your partner is a bit like saying it's weird for your partner to wear a suit and tie to the office, but not for having breakfast at home on a Sunday morning.

So you accept that makeup doesn’t make people look objectively better and it’s more down to social conditioning then? In which case it’s hardly surprising that many men don’t think their wives look better in makeup.

In which case it’s hardly surprising that many men don’t think their wives look better in makeup

I don't think many men think their wives look better without make up. Most will think their wives look better with it. That's not to say they think they're unattractive makeup free...but they will think they look better with it. It's an uncomfortable fact but it's true.

As for beauty standards and how our culture and society influences them, well you could probably write a PhD on it.

There are general beauty standards which are universal and are linked to health and therefore our supposed ability to produce healthy offspring. So clear skin, healthy hair, bright eyes, a healthy weight etc.

@Comedycook I’m sorry to hear your experience of men has led you to this conclusion.

Makeup for the most part does not make people look healthier. You could argue that it covers up blemishes on skin but it’s always visible when people do that, it doesn’t erase them.

Thanks for your passive aggressive faux concern for my 'experience of men'. I'm all good. It's really quite obvious what most men find physically attractive...you can see it all around us.

Makeup for the most part does not make people look healthier.

Depends on the person. My mum thought I look ill without it. She was absolutely right. Nobody looks good with no eyebrows and pallid skin.

My wife married (civilly- partnered!) me, not a load of old face paint. If you want to wear make-up then go right ahead, but I'd ask yourself why you think your husband would rather see you with a mask on.

Thanks for saying us pale women look ill. Lovely generalisation. 😍

I don't wear make-up daily. If I'm going somewhere special I will, and the person/people I'm meeting, know I've made an effort for them. It's my way of saying they are deserving of my energy and my time.

I don't see make up as a mask. It covers my bad bits ... uneven skin tone...and enhances other things like eyelashes and brows. It's an enhancement not a mask

Sometimes I do, mostly I don't. Certainly not if I'm just at home with no visitors. Probably not if just popping out, going for a walk, going to a friend's house for an impromptu cuppa. Maybe for work. Usually if going out in the evening.

I just don't care that much about looking different in the way that make-up makes you look different. I don't think it is necessarily better.

@ettieb Does your DP wear make-up for you? Shouldn't he be making himself look younger and better with a bit of concealer and mascara?

See, I just can't bring myself to see natural skin tone as bad, or natural brows or eyelashes somehow being better after being changed.

In that way I don't see it as an enhancement, I see it as a deliberate act of making yourself look different.

Not better or enhanced, just different.

An enhancement suggests that you gain some kind of special ability by doing it, which I'm not sure you do by changing your brows or eyelashes.

I didn’t. I said I do. Zero generalisation. And nothing to do with you, unless you too are sans eyebrows.

You said:
"Nobody looks good with no eyebrows and pallid skin."

I look good with no eyebrows and pallid skin. It's just the way my body was built and it's great.

I look good with no eyebrows and pallid skin.

You don’t. You’re deluding yourself or arguing for the sake of it.

I think I look my best without makeup, because the only makeup I can do is 2000s era emo. Probably best that I don't wear that to the office (the blue hair is already pushing my luck)