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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Make up

433 replies

ettieb · 04/09/2023 08:17

Do you wear make up every day? I do...I know I look better and younger when I wear it and feel so much better. I know so many people who don't wear make up on a daily basis who look stunning when they put make up on to go out. Why wouldn't you want to look the best you can all the time? It doesn't need to take a lot of time...5 mins for basic eye liner..mascara.. blusher and lipstick...I have a friend in her 60s and if we go out she wears lipstick and mascara and looks 20 years younger! I also would wear make up if I'm just at home hanging out with my DP...I want to look my best for him. I find it baffling that people will do their hair and make up to go out with with work colleagues but don't do the same on a daily basis for their partner...

OP posts:
cardibach · 07/09/2023 00:30

LeilaDarling · 04/09/2023 16:23

I wear make up Monday - Friday for work as I have to look immaculate and well presented for a very public facing position, often recorded. I would not look or feel right without make up. Either Saturday or Sunday I give my face a rest unless we are going out. Have never not worn make up ever for work since I started in the late 90’s. Shows effort and a good, polished look.

Do men in your role wear it so they can present ‘a good, polished look’?
Or are they considered professional without it?
The only job in which your answer would be ‘yes’ is something involving tv or performing, which is rather different from a ‘normal’ life or job. People in those jobs actually need make up because of the lights. Most of us don’t have to contend with the flattening effects of strong lighting (or if we occasionally do, it doesn’t matter).
So. Tv/stage so irrelevant Leila, or do men manage your role without make up?

cardibach · 07/09/2023 00:40

Lilibert456 · 04/09/2023 18:54

I wear makeup every day of the week. Would not dream of even going to the local shop without it. I wear it for me. Husband doesn't care whether I wear it or not.

Don’t you think it’s odd how few men wear makeup for themselves? Or anyone else…

reallyunderstandsometimes · 07/09/2023 00:43

IHeartGeneHunt · 04/09/2023 08:42

Mascara, because I have white hair and grey eyes and without it I look like an albino woodlouse.

Grin
cardibach · 07/09/2023 00:45

Comedycook · 05/09/2023 15:19

Am I the only one who when a woman says "my husband prefers me without make up" thinks, yeah sure he does?! 😂

Do you always have such a low opinion of men?

cardibach · 07/09/2023 00:53

Chipsahoy · 06/09/2023 11:53

I am so pale I am ghostly. If I don’t wear make up people tell me I look ill which is lovely.
I wear mineral foundation and blusher each day. Sometimes mascara. Never lipstick or eyeliner. I also have lots of acne scars lately as seem to be going through peri menopause and have teen skin again. So I will wear it at home more often I usually do.

That’s because you normally wear make up to change your skin colour. If you didn’t, people wouldn’t think anything of your pale skin.

MarbleParched · 07/09/2023 01:55

Makeup is so over rated, my mum used to use it every day but as she lost her sight I used to have to, with her permission, remove most of which she did for herself.
It was so sad but she still thought that she couldn’t go out without makeup.
in the end she just used lipstick.

MarbleParched · 07/09/2023 01:59

I can’t bear to wear makeup every day, I do do my eyebrows but beyond that, nada.
if I put anything else on my eyes or face it makes me feel knackered by the end of the day.

Comedycook · 07/09/2023 07:25

cardibach · 07/09/2023 00:45

Do you always have such a low opinion of men?

Show quote history

That's nothing to do with my opinion of men....most just say it because they think it's what we want to hear and that it's what you're supposed to say.

Chipsahoy · 07/09/2023 08:29

It matches my skin colour so I don’t change my skin colour with foundation, I cover up the scars I have on my face. I add blusher so I don’t look unwell. people I’ve never met before ask me if I’m alright when I don’t wear blusher. I am the palest person ever.

Gertrudetheadelie · 07/09/2023 08:34

I also think there are some men who do envy women to use make up to help them feel more confident - especially during puberty. When I was a teacher, a few boys said as much to me about how they wished they could use concealer without judgment! It's not like all men are just confident with their faces and women aren't.

I wish it was just okay either way for either sex. Great if you want to, great if you don't. It's a pity that, on both sides of this debate, it has turned to people feeling attacked for their choices.

Minglingpringle · 07/09/2023 09:44

Why is this important to you? Bully for you if sex is at the forefront of your mind the whole time but why do you need it to be like that for everyone else as well?

Since you ask, I don’t wear make up because:

  1. it is a hassle to put it on
  2. it is uncomfortable to wear. In particular I have to make sure I don’t let anything touch my face, otherwise I smear the make up or make the thing touching it dirty. This is very unrelaxing.
  3. I am very happy with how I look without it.
  4. the main reason I would ever wear make up would be to signify that I had made an effort - the same reason why I might wear a dress or high heels for a special occasion (reluctantly - also very uncomfortable).
  5. I’m not into make up. I might as well ask you why you don’t wear the same style clothes as me.
Minglingpringle · 07/09/2023 09:51

Also, I don’t want to devote the whole of my married life in trying to attract my husband. My married life is my WHOLE life so I mainly want to spend it just living my life on my own terms for me. If I want to attract my husband, that’s a side hustle. I don’t want to think about it constantly.

fruitstick · 07/09/2023 09:59

I can't be arsed everyday.

I don't like how I look with lots of makeup. I think I look like a man in drag.

If I go out I'll wear foundation, mascara, eyeliner and lipstick but have never got to grips with contouring, blusher or fancy eyeshadow. But around the house? Shopping? School run? No thank you.

My skin has always been good so have never had to worry about spots etc.

Each to their own I suppose but I don't see why you think that not wearing make up is not 'looking your best'

I have my hair cut and coloured regularly, and gel on my nails so they look 'groomed'. I try to keep my eyebrows under control.

I'm happy with how I am thank you very much.

cardibach · 07/09/2023 09:59

Comedycook · 07/09/2023 07:25

That's nothing to do with my opinion of men....most just say it because they think it's what we want to hear and that it's what you're supposed to say.

Show quote history

It is though. You think they are all so shallow that looks are something that bothers them, and that they are all so misogynistic that they expect women to change their appearance while they don’t do it themselves.

cardibach · 07/09/2023 10:01

Chipsahoy · 07/09/2023 08:29

It matches my skin colour so I don’t change my skin colour with foundation, I cover up the scars I have on my face. I add blusher so I don’t look unwell. people I’ve never met before ask me if I’m alright when I don’t wear blusher. I am the palest person ever.

You said the problem was you looked rubbish because you were pale. If your makeup is the same colour then your explanation makes no sense. The blusher is changing your colour - stop using it and people would stop noticing.
I mean - wear it if you genuinely enjoy it, but it doesn’t sound like you do.

BIossomtoes · 07/09/2023 10:02

You think they are all so shallow that looks are something that bothers them,

No, you think that. I don’t think it’s particularly shallow to find someone’s looks appealing. That’s being human.

Funkyblues101 · 07/09/2023 10:02

I find it baffling that you place so much importance on how you look "at all times". There's also the problem that if you do look your best at all times, people think you make no effort when you go out, because that's just how you look...

Comedycook · 07/09/2023 10:03

cardibach · 07/09/2023 09:59

It is though. You think they are all so shallow that looks are something that bothers them, and that they are all so misogynistic that they expect women to change their appearance while they don’t do it themselves.

Show quote history

Bit of a reach. But yes, we were talking about what men find more physically attractive. Men who say they prefer the no make up look probably are lying or they have no idea that what they think is a no make up look, is actually just natural looking make up. The truth is that being completely bare faced is not actually seen as attractive by most men unless you are model beautiful. That's not to say men don't love their wives and girlfriends if they don't wear make up.

cardibach · 07/09/2023 10:04

BIossomtoes · 07/09/2023 10:02

You think they are all so shallow that looks are something that bothers them,

No, you think that. I don’t think it’s particularly shallow to find someone’s looks appealing. That’s being human.

Someone’s looks, yes.

Not liking them as much when they don’t change their appearance…that’s shallow, once you know the person.

marblesthecat · 07/09/2023 10:05

I'm interested to know if all the posters who think all women look better with makeup also think all men would look better with makeup?

FWIW I actually do think most women look better with some makeup but I acknowledge that's a result of societal conditioning.

BIossomtoes · 07/09/2023 10:05

No, mate, that’s human. I hate my bloke with a beard and don’t want to kiss him if he’s got one. So he shaves every day.

MrsSkylerWhite · 07/09/2023 10:06

No, can’t be bothered.

fruitstick · 07/09/2023 10:08

It also annoys me that this only ever applies to looks and not anything else. People are allowed to be judgey about effort in this but not other stuff.

I read a lot. So would rather spend that 10 minutes with my book than in front of a mirror.

However, I don't come on here shouting 'why don't people read every day? Don't they want to be more interesting? Don't they want to be well-read for their partners so they don't get bored by their conversation? I'm baffled that people don't care about improving their mind'

... wanders off to start thread.

Comedycook · 07/09/2023 10:08

The thing is most men don't actually want to say to their wives, yeah you look better with make up even if it's true. Mine says I look better with make up...he's right. I do look better with it. If I didn't, I wouldn't wear it would I??

Createausernameplease · 07/09/2023 10:10

Jesus, my husband is lucky if I wear more than joggers and a t shirt when we’re at home let alone make up. He married me knowing what I look like 😂 if he was not attracted to me because I wasn’t wearing make up he could get in the bin