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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Make up

433 replies

ettieb · 04/09/2023 08:17

Do you wear make up every day? I do...I know I look better and younger when I wear it and feel so much better. I know so many people who don't wear make up on a daily basis who look stunning when they put make up on to go out. Why wouldn't you want to look the best you can all the time? It doesn't need to take a lot of time...5 mins for basic eye liner..mascara.. blusher and lipstick...I have a friend in her 60s and if we go out she wears lipstick and mascara and looks 20 years younger! I also would wear make up if I'm just at home hanging out with my DP...I want to look my best for him. I find it baffling that people will do their hair and make up to go out with with work colleagues but don't do the same on a daily basis for their partner...

OP posts:
Brightandshining · 06/09/2023 16:38

No way. Its the sensation of it and the stress of putting it on. I wear very basic makeup to work and more elaborate makeup to events/parties.
If I'm just mooching round the house, collecting kids from school, hiking or dog walking or even a day out with just my husband and kids I don't wear any makeup at all. Who can honestly be bothered with the time and expense. I don't feel like I need to hide my natural face from the people I love most. I wash and dress nicely. That's all I expect from my husband tbh why would I be there doing a full face of makeup for him every day?
I feel like never showing my natural face would also be a bad example for my daughters. I've no problem with having a bit of fun with makeup.. but I don't want to promote the idea that women have to wear it to look presentable

Kasparthecat · 06/09/2023 16:40

Does your partner put make up on to look 'better' for you? Why does this almost always apply only to women? Are you actually an advert for the make up industry?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 06/09/2023 16:43

I've added a 'thanks' for your post. This really is the crux.

I find OP's post reminiscent of Stepford Wives; utterly creepy. She needs to wear makeup to look better? Great, she can paint herself however she likes. She doesn't get to impose that on other women.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 06/09/2023 16:44

herewegoroundthebastardbush · 04/09/2023 12:05

And that, right there, is exactly the whole point and what the OP should probably have said to herself before posting. Chacun a son gout.

Show quote history

This post; Blossomtoes and herewegoroundthebastardbush Star

lto2019 · 06/09/2023 16:45

I wear make up every day - I love it. I fell in love with makeup around 13/14 and have never fallen out of love with it. I look fine without it and wear it for me not any partner. I love it all makeup /skin care/ nail varnish

deveronvalley · 06/09/2023 16:46

Never worn make up and didn’t ever learn how to apply it properly, so I’m very used to seeing myself with my natural face! I don’t feel like it’s affected me at all. I don’t have 2 versions of my own face, a better and a worse one, I just have my only one! I don’t have to worry what people think about my effort levels on any particular day.

Catza · 06/09/2023 16:56

I hardly ever wear make up and when I do, it's just eyebrows, mascara and a lippy. I am 40 and I look stunning without and don't give monkeys about looking younger. My partner also thinks I am beautiful just the way I am. So, as far as I am concerned, I always look my best and make up has nothing to do with it.

InterFactual · 06/09/2023 17:03

I imagine your life is quite sad OP. You don't see beauty in natural skin, you think we are there to please our partners visually and that men deserve a woman who wears make up at home on a lazy Sunday. You come across as having little respect for work colleagues who choose to go natural. What a terribly sad viewpoint on life and how degrading of others value as well as your own.

I feel very sorry for you and I recommend you work on acceptance and self esteem.

To answer your question many people like the way they look without makeup, even if you don't. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Many people find it expensive, faffy, time consuming, skin clogging and sticky feeling to wear makeup. I'm sure you've become accustomed to the feel of it on your skin but many people get itchy, streaming eyes and awful spots the day after wearing it.

If someone is washed and clean then mind your own business.

ETA: I have no hate for anyone who enjoys wearing make up. Each to their own and if you enjoy it go ahead. I suspect the majority of people who enjoy make aren't sitting in judgement and criticising those who don't, unlike the OP.

HangingOver · 06/09/2023 17:03

@AmazingSnakeHead you've blown my mind with this comment.

Why would I want to appear younger than I am? I have no interest in befriending people who would look down on me for being my actual age. So there is no benefit to appearing 20 years younger

I hope I can learn to feel this way. It makes so much sense.

paulthepython · 06/09/2023 17:08

Is this a joke thread? A troll? A man? Seriously...do absolutely whatever you want but your tone is so spiteful. I think the long and the short of it is that other women are considered so beautiful, and are so beautiful, by their partners when they arent wearing makeup that they simply dont need to enhance themselves. Basically, if you are a queen, you dont need to! If the only reason you wear makeup is to look good for your partner though aren't you worried that you aren't enough for him without it? If he needs the makeup to think you are attractive you need to reevaluate your relationship. Wearing makeup because you like it, it makes you feel good, you enjoy it is absolutely fantastic but wearing it out of some intent to improve what your partner has to look at when he hangs out with you is frankly a self esteem that deserves counselling. On the flip - if that's genuinely your logic - don't you think he's missing out on seeing you made up for a night out? Because basically there's zero improvement is there (not that there needs to be, see above). I think you need to look inwards to sort out some of your issues, hiding what you see in the mirror isn't going to change your mindset.

AlocasiaPolly · 06/09/2023 17:08

I work in a chemistry lab, often up to my elbows in all kinds of muck. I can't wear tidy clothes because they'd end up ruined. So scruffy jeans, polo shirt and a face full of makeup would look utterly ridiculous. I also have incredibly sensitive skin, which likes to breathe at all times.

Newusernaming · 06/09/2023 17:12

When I was younger, I didn't wear make up, other than occasional lipstick and eyeliner. I used to have nice complexion and decent lashes. Now in my 40s, I look a bit tired with thin lashes and brows, can't be bothered with foundation but I use eye pencil and light lipstick everyday. It makes me feel good.
I still dont know how to apply eyeshadow and other things despite watching a million youtube videos 😅

Whatthebarnacles · 06/09/2023 17:14

I find it baffling that people will do their hair and make up to go out with with work colleagues but don't do the same on a daily basis for their partner

... make up is for the person wearing it - not everyone or anyone else. So I hugely disagree with your reasoning for being "baffled"

I wear it if I feel like it, for me. To make me feel better. If I'm going on a night out I wear it for me, to add to the outfit or finished look.

Anyone feeling the need to wear make up for their friend or partner has self esteem issues.

AllstarFacilier · 06/09/2023 17:15

I don’t like the feel of make up on my face, I’m very aware it’s there and I feel like it makes my eyes feel sleepy. I like the look of my face with make up on, but not enough to do it daily. I definitely wouldn’t put it on for anyone other than myself, including my husband.

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 06/09/2023 17:23

I do look my best for my husband.
My best isn’t wearing makeup.
I’m glad he likes my face. He’s stuck with it.

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 06/09/2023 17:27

ettieb · 04/09/2023 11:43

I think it's interesting that people who have replied to the part of my post about putting on make up for my DP think it's because he makes me or I'm a 50s housewife. He couldn't give a toss what I do.. but I love him and he loves me and I want to look as attractive as I can for him... the attraction is part of a relationship and important. I would be interested to know how many married mumsnetters wore make up on their wedding day... if you did.. surely it was too look your best and wouldn't you want to continue to do this?

I wore a very small amount of makeup on my wedding day so I wouldn’t look washed out in the pictures. But I don’t live my daily life being photographed.

Jenny5511 · 06/09/2023 17:43

I think your post speaks volumes about you rather than those that don’t wear makeup. Honestly, I feel really sorry for you that you probably won’t see why.

Islandgirl68 · 06/09/2023 19:10

I only wore make up when getting dressed up for a night out. Have not worn make up for years. Money was tight after kids so could no justify the money for make up. Yes I am sure I would look younger etc with it on, but got better things to spend money on.

FoxClocks · 06/09/2023 20:39

It's a sensory thing for me, even brushing my teeth and putting on sunscreen daily is difficult. I don't judge people either way though. My dd loves makeup and gets a lot of joy from it.

Allthatwegotisthispalebluedot · 06/09/2023 20:46

There is something so incredibly repulsive about the amount of posters coming on here saying ‘my husband comments on other women’s make up and says he prefers a natural look’. Serious ick. If you are one of these posters, get a hold of yourselves. If my husband felt the need to comment on what another woman was wearing on her face, I would think he’d lost his damn mind.

toomanyleggings · 06/09/2023 20:53

I wear makeup every day but there are plenty of people that I think look lovely without it and in their shoes I wouldn’t bother either. There are also plenty of people who look crap barefaced and would prob look a lot better if they wore it. I can still understand why they don’t bother though. It’s a faff, they might think they look fine without, they might not be bothered what others think…Lots of valid reasons why they don’t wear it. This is a weird thread.

Comedycook · 06/09/2023 21:09

Allthatwegotisthispalebluedot · 06/09/2023 20:46

There is something so incredibly repulsive about the amount of posters coming on here saying ‘my husband comments on other women’s make up and says he prefers a natural look’. Serious ick. If you are one of these posters, get a hold of yourselves. If my husband felt the need to comment on what another woman was wearing on her face, I would think he’d lost his damn mind.

Their husbands may tell them that they prefer them with no make up but the women they're most probably drooling over on Insta or onlyfans are probably caked in make up!

OneCup · 06/09/2023 22:16

Why do you want to fool people? Just show them your real you. I'm sure you look great without make up. So many people do.

AveAtqueVale · 06/09/2023 23:21

Mostly I just can't be arsed 😂. I'd rather have an extra ten minutes in bed. I used to be not bad at doing it (though actually probably terrible now through lack of practice) but frankly can't be bothered with the time, effort or expense, and one day about ten years ago I sat staring at myself in the mirror thinking how bizarre it was to be putting all this random stuff on my face just to wash it off again at the end of the day. So I stopped and haven't bothered since. I did put on a tiny bit for my wedding day - which in retrospect was an error as it felt weird and was all melting down my face by the time we got to the reception - so I scrubbed it off with hand soap and water in the loos and felt much more myself!

MarvellousMonsters · 07/09/2023 00:19

I do look my best. I don't need a layer of paint to look presentable. Does your partner get all done up, every day? No. Why do you think you need to wear make up? Has the beauty industry done such a good job of convincing you that you're only fit to be seen if you're wearing make up that you even feel inadequate at home without it?