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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

FIL walking round with his top off

98 replies

MrsHsGirl · 03/09/2023 09:41

We are staying at FIL's this weekend and he has got up and made a coffee, had his breakfast, had a sit down and read the paper and played with DS all wearing absolutely nothing on his top half.

It's his house and he can do what he likes but is it just me that thinks that's a weird thing to do when you have company?! The sight of his nipples within touching distance of me while he chowed down on his weetabix will stay with me for a long time 😂

OP posts:
CoteDOpale · 03/09/2023 09:57

NeverDropYourMooncup · 03/09/2023 09:45

What's for dinner - a lovely bit of Squirrel?

My first thought too. 😂

WessexPrincess · 03/09/2023 09:58

NeverDropYourMooncup · 03/09/2023 09:45

What's for dinner - a lovely bit of Squirrel?

🤣🤣🤣

CaputDraconis · 03/09/2023 10:00

My FIL does this and I think it's disrespectful. It's one or two mornings, just cover up.

We don't stay anymore because of this.

DisquietintheRanks · 03/09/2023 10:00

He has nipples? OMG

Havanananana · 03/09/2023 10:01

Reminds me of this ...

DrasticAction · 03/09/2023 10:02

Interesting, I'm not sure how I would feel a bout this with my fil 😂.

However my own df and db always tops off when hot and sunny.

So it's something I'm used too.

TiredDonut · 03/09/2023 10:04

NeverDropYourMooncup · 03/09/2023 09:45

What's for dinner - a lovely bit of Squirrel?

Just way I was thinking 😂🤣😂🤣

CowboyBootsForAllOcassions · 03/09/2023 10:04

NeverDropYourMooncup · 03/09/2023 09:45

What's for dinner - a lovely bit of Squirrel?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

AutumnCrow · 03/09/2023 10:05

We have the occasional reenactment of Friday Night Dinner here too, but my Martin always listens to his Jackie and puts a top on for company. To be fair, so do I. We have equal ops repression here.

He actually also does an annual oiling of the door hinges.

Original poster
MrsHsGirl · 03/09/2023 10:10

So interested by the response here, this is why I love AIBU!

To be clear I wouldn't think twice about anyone having their top off outside on a nice day etc.

It's just that both growing up and now no one in my house (bar my 2 yo) would ever hang around in the living room etc half dressed - it just seems so strange ti me!

OP posts:
Blondebutnotlegally · 03/09/2023 10:12

Although logically it IS his house, it is a bit weird isn't it? If I were to walk around topless or even for the sake of the argument in a bra, it would be deemed SUPER inappropriate with guests.. my in laws walk around in their underwear all the time 😅

ZiriForEver · 03/09/2023 10:12

What is so wrong with your views about a human body?

I agree it would be more sociable to put on a t-shirt, but "nipple in the touching distance" is strange focus. And another poster suggesting men should wear some top while swimming?

ClairDeLaLune · 03/09/2023 10:15

NeverDropYourMooncup · 03/09/2023 09:45

What's for dinner - a lovely bit of Squirrel?

😂😂😂

BathingBeauty · 03/09/2023 10:16

My FIL did the same. Didn’t matter on the season. There’s nothing like eating your breakfast and him standing right next to you with his moobs in your face. Scarred for life.
DH bought him a dressing gown which he refused to wear.
It wasn’t just at his house, but ours too. Gives me chills to think about it.
I don’t like men walking about on the street with no top either.

Oblomov23 · 03/09/2023 10:26

Men with tops off don't bother me.

CoffeeCantata · 03/09/2023 10:29

I would hate that, OP. I hate seeing men with no shirt on. I don't know why they think anyone wants to see them in this state. Oh wait - they're not considering what other people want.

But then I'm of the view that all kinds of things are everyone's business - eg how you dress vis a vis other people - and I know MN is always 'none of your business!' I just don't get this point of view - how can it not be your business if you have to look at and get close to someone's naked torso when you haven't chosen to? Yuk,

Letitgonowgr · 03/09/2023 10:32

My dad does this. He has a massively huge belly too! Doesn’t bother me at all. Might if we had a family gathering etc but it’s when we pop over and doesn’t offend me nor my husband. Nipples are hardly offensive! If it was your MIL then yes!

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 03/09/2023 10:33

MrsHsGirl · 03/09/2023 09:41

We are staying at FIL's this weekend and he has got up and made a coffee, had his breakfast, had a sit down and read the paper and played with DS all wearing absolutely nothing on his top half.

It's his house and he can do what he likes but is it just me that thinks that's a weird thing to do when you have company?! The sight of his nipples within touching distance of me while he chowed down on his weetabix will stay with me for a long time 😂

Do you often have to control yourself not to touch men's nipples?

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 03/09/2023 10:34

ZiriForEver · 03/09/2023 10:12

What is so wrong with your views about a human body?

I agree it would be more sociable to put on a t-shirt, but "nipple in the touching distance" is strange focus. And another poster suggesting men should wear some top while swimming?

It's very weird isn't it?
I can't think of any context in which I'd sexualise my feelings about my father in law.

Truemilk · 03/09/2023 10:58

ZiriForEver · 03/09/2023 10:12

What is so wrong with your views about a human body?

I agree it would be more sociable to put on a t-shirt, but "nipple in the touching distance" is strange focus. And another poster suggesting men should wear some top while swimming?

Some people don't like to see other people half naked, nothing wrong with that imo

A lot of men that walk about with their tops off are hairy or have a massive belly, it's really not pleasant to look at.

It's the double standards too, if an overweight woman wanted to walk about with a crop top on with her tummy hanging out she'd probably receive a lot of abuse, mostly from men!

Men just seem to aloud to flounce through life doing whatever the fuck they want without being called out on it.

gannett · 03/09/2023 11:03

Truemilk · 03/09/2023 10:58

Some people don't like to see other people half naked, nothing wrong with that imo

A lot of men that walk about with their tops off are hairy or have a massive belly, it's really not pleasant to look at.

It's the double standards too, if an overweight woman wanted to walk about with a crop top on with her tummy hanging out she'd probably receive a lot of abuse, mostly from men!

Men just seem to aloud to flounce through life doing whatever the fuck they want without being called out on it.

Show quote history

Then don't look.

I see overweight women in crop tops all the time and no one is abusing them. They're going about their lives just fine and no one should have a problem with that.

Ditto to a man going topless in his own home.

The consistent revulsion for the human body is a very weird MN theme. It really isn't hard to avert your eyes if you're that offended.

andrainwillmaketheflowersgrow · 03/09/2023 11:07

Everyone saying it's acceptable, would you all feel the same if your MIL decided to sit and have her morning coffee completely topless?

If not, why is it acceptable for a man?

andrainwillmaketheflowersgrow · 03/09/2023 11:08

I see overweight women in crop tops all the time and no one is abusing them. They're going about their lives just fine and no one should have a problem with that.

We're not talking about a crop top. We're talking about completely topless.

If it's okay for a man to wander around with his nipples out, surely it's okay for women to do the same thing?

BitOutOfPractice · 03/09/2023 11:08

NeverDropYourMooncup · 03/09/2023 09:45

What's for dinner - a lovely bit of Squirrel?

He’s probably boiling!

DisquietintheRanks · 03/09/2023 11:08

Truemilk · 03/09/2023 10:58

Some people don't like to see other people half naked, nothing wrong with that imo

A lot of men that walk about with their tops off are hairy or have a massive belly, it's really not pleasant to look at.

It's the double standards too, if an overweight woman wanted to walk about with a crop top on with her tummy hanging out she'd probably receive a lot of abuse, mostly from men!

Men just seem to aloud to flounce through life doing whatever the fuck they want without being called out on it.

Show quote history

So what are you arguing for exactly? That people should be able to police others clothing or that they shouldn't?