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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would this mum also annoy you

147 replies

blulight · 01/09/2023 21:21

Sometimes I think I'm just a mean / evil person.

This is rather lighthearted btw.

There's this mum at school, who used to go to the school she's now sending her DC to and she just won't stop going on about it..

we had a teacher meet up and I heard her telling the same stories about how she used to go to the school to three different sets of people. She has also managed to reference it a few times in the watsap group..

I find this really irritating and find her annoying.

Am I just an evil person ?

OP posts:
Myfavouritepenguin · 01/09/2023 22:14

I get it OP. I am irrationally annoyed by loads of things and people! I assumed everyone was…

There are a few mums at school who really irritate me. I know I’m mostly being unreasonable so I’m as nice as pie to their faces!

Zanatdy · 01/09/2023 22:15

It’s just an easy conversation starter. I don’t know why she annoys you so much! Maybe she’s a naturally annoying person, I mean schools mums you’re always going to get one or two people who pee everyone else off

mewkins · 01/09/2023 22:17

Hearing the same thing repeated to different people would make me a bit embarrassed for her. Probably irrationally so.

SamAndEIIa · 01/09/2023 22:18

Sunnydays41 · 01/09/2023 22:06

Ha ha, same!

I shudder when I hear new-area friends realise they went to school with so-and-so's mum or old-area friends yap on about local gossip and what thingymajig who we knew 30 years ago is up to now...

I can't think of anything worse than going into town, knowing you're going to bump into an old school friend, friend of a sibling, neighbour, teacher or anyone else who knew you as a child!

Show quote history

I guess you maybe live in a relatively small/remote place?

I live very close to where I was brought up; my child goes to my old school. I never meet anyone I knew from being young though; unless I want to. My daughter goes to my old school; but all the staff who taught me have left.

It’s a big town.

Original poster
blulight · 01/09/2023 22:18

Prescottdanni123 · 01/09/2023 22:14

It depends if she has mentioned it in 3 seperate chats with people she hadn't told yet - in which case she is just making conversation. Or does it has more of a "I went to school here as a child, and when I was here, this, this and this happened and I know some of the current teachers because I went here and now my son is going here and did I mention that I went to school here?" tone.

She mentioned it to three groups.. which wasn't weird but I just kept overhearing her do it and just thought ' is that all you have to say ?'...
Then on the WhatsApp she keeps sliding it in for no relevant reason.

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 01/09/2023 22:19

Which year are the kids -she may calm down if it’s reception. If it’s KS2 there’s no hope.

SamAndEIIa · 01/09/2023 22:19

blulight · 01/09/2023 22:18

She mentioned it to three groups.. which wasn't weird but I just kept overhearing her do it and just thought ' is that all you have to say ?'...
Then on the WhatsApp she keeps sliding it in for no relevant reason.

Show quote history

Maybe - and this is an out there suggestion, so bear with me - you should spend more time getting involved in conversations; rather than just earwigging on someone else’s.

Radical, I know.

Mindovermatter247 · 01/09/2023 22:20

I wouldn’t say evil as everyone has different things that annoy them, it sounds like a you issue though . Dsis, DS & dd all went to the same primary school and have had many of the same teachers, dd is practically living in thier shadow as everyone knows us. I’ve spoken to other parents about it. It’s not really an issue, we talk about the teachers and that’s that… a non issue in my opinion.

Hooplahooping · 01/09/2023 22:25

I have a theory its vicarious embarrassment. Part of your brain shouting ‘STOP TELLING THE SAME BORING STORY TO EVERYONE’ at her.

I get this all the time, probably because I know I talk to much when I’m anxious. My own faults are always infuriating in other people!

Original poster
blulight · 01/09/2023 22:26

@SamAndEIIa I just wasn't in a mood that day to massively engage and chose to observe a bit. I was more making sure my DC was ok and looking around the room at all the learning materials and exploring that, watching how the teachers interacted with the children. That was more important to me that day. There were lots of parents doing that kind of thing, rather than actively talking constantly just to the adults. I did have chats with other parents and teachers but chose to be a bit more observant.

I wasn't following her around or anything but she always seemed within ear shot.

OP posts:
Fairydustxox · 01/09/2023 22:29

berksandbeyond · 01/09/2023 22:04

I don’t get why this is something to be proud of?

Show quote history

Why not? Proud that my son went to the same village school, learnt the same school and life values and started his school life off the same way I did.
You sound like a bore tbh

Meowandthen · 01/09/2023 22:29

Seems the people making the judgy comments of “don’t judge” (yawn) missed the part about the post intending to be lighthearted. No need to get all offended.

cheeseandcrackers89 · 01/09/2023 22:31

Everyone annoys me..I must be super evil.

BHRK · 01/09/2023 22:32

Op isn’t being lighthearted though, she’s being bitchy.
I think if that’s a reason to dislike somebody you’re going to struggle to make new friends at school. So what if she mentioned she went to school there a few times?

merryhouse · 01/09/2023 22:33

Well, I remember the Early Years lead (about 8 years older than me, which kind of made it worse) telling us that {fellow nursery-mother} had been one of her first pupils (I'm pretty sure she wasn't in Early Years at the time, mind)

and lord help me I felt jealous. I live 200 miles from where I grew up and I wish we had the roots in the area so many people have (both sons have friends with cousins all over town).

So I have a strong suspicion your initiation into school life and the community it represents is similarly bringing home to you what you may be missing. And as others have said, that's why it's annoying you so much.

YesitsBess · 01/09/2023 22:33

blulight · 01/09/2023 22:26

@SamAndEIIa I just wasn't in a mood that day to massively engage and chose to observe a bit. I was more making sure my DC was ok and looking around the room at all the learning materials and exploring that, watching how the teachers interacted with the children. That was more important to me that day. There were lots of parents doing that kind of thing, rather than actively talking constantly just to the adults. I did have chats with other parents and teachers but chose to be a bit more observant.

I wasn't following her around or anything but she always seemed within ear shot.

Oh no this is brilliant.

Please tell us more.

cherry2727 · 01/09/2023 22:35

I don't get how she annoys you? She happened to mention the same story to different audiences - how is it annoying ? You just happen to be within earshot every-time !

Also , it's probably a conversation starter considering she is speaking to school parents . Not much else to say if you don't really know the parent !!

YesitsBess · 01/09/2023 22:35

Fairydustxox · 01/09/2023 22:29

Why not? Proud that my son went to the same village school, learnt the same school and life values and started his school life off the same way I did.
You sound like a bore tbh

Show quote history

I get the first part of your post, same teachers, same parish and in our case same vicar.

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 01/09/2023 22:35

You aren't a bad person for finding it irritating.

However, I struggle socially and will pre-rehearse scripted things to talk about ahead of stressful social situations. I would imagine that starting a child off at what is, for the child, a new school might be stressful for this mother. In her situation, I would have rehearsed and memorised "small talk" and "about me" and "about my son" scripts to use when meeting the new people. Perhaps she has done the same thing? That doesn't mean that you must like it, but it does offer a possible reason why she's doing it.

MrsSkylerWhite · 01/09/2023 22:36

I think I’d just feel a bit sorry for her. Smile and nod.

Thedogscollar · 01/09/2023 22:37

MrsSkylerWhite · 01/09/2023 22:36

I think I’d just feel a bit sorry for her. Smile and nod.

Why would you feel sorry for her? What an odd comment.

berksandbeyond · 01/09/2023 22:38

Fairydustxox · 01/09/2023 22:29

Why not? Proud that my son went to the same village school, learnt the same school and life values and started his school life off the same way I did.
You sound like a bore tbh

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I’m the bore? When you’re the one who has stayed in the same small area your whole life? Ok!

Thedogscollar · 01/09/2023 22:46

berksandbeyond · 01/09/2023 22:38

I’m the bore? When you’re the one who has stayed in the same small area your whole life? Ok!

Show quote history

Warren Buffet one of the wealthiest individuals in the world has lived in the same city all his life.
It doesn't seem to have had any detrimental effect on his life.

Spaglol · 01/09/2023 22:47

Yep! 😅

berksandbeyond · 01/09/2023 22:51

Thedogscollar · 01/09/2023 22:46

Warren Buffet one of the wealthiest individuals in the world has lived in the same city all his life.
It doesn't seem to have had any detrimental effect on his life.

Show quote history

The same city maybe, but the same school catchment? I doubt it.
You don’t have to agree, but I know that the people who stayed in the same small village I grew up in.. they all have very small lives shall we say. Just my opinion 😊 I don’t think having gone to the same school as your kids is anything to brag about, so the woman was probably just making nervous small talk as a few people have said!