Reborn dolls in the pram bay

[gezelligheid]

A couple of times now I've been unable to get on the bus with my baby in a pram because there are two local women who take their reborn dolls out in prams and take up the pram bays. I know they are reborn dolls as I've seen the dolls in their pram.

I understand people have reborn dolls for many different reasons but to take up a space meaning a real baby can't get on the bus surely isn't fair?

I've complained to the bus service and they've said they cannot monitor whether babies are real or not so if they get on the bus first I should ask them to put their pram down upon boarding.

I'm worried this will cause an altercation on the bus so I'm wondering AIBU to say something on the bus even though it may be embarrassing for the women?

Don’t some reborn owners think they have a real baby? So they wouldn’t necessarily understand that they need to take their pram down?
also, isn’t it quite hard to distinguish a sleeping baby from a reborn doll by just glancing at the pram? Imagine the next thread… this woman with baby got on a bus and took my baby out of their pram 😮.
Op, there are some slings that you can just pop a baby in - from about 4 months they look like a closed loop scarf, and you wear your baby on your hip. Perfect for carrying in your pram! For younger ones, there are some that consist of two closed loop scarfs, and again, easy to pop baby in (unfortunately I forgot the names as too long ago… but the first one was Japanese and the second one Scandinavian)

I’d go with sugargliderwombats suggestion. It sensitively deals with the situation.

I have so much sympathy for anyone who has suffered the hell of the loss of a baby and whatever helps is fine by me. But the safety and comfort of OPs baby comes first. I used to be a bus user before there were pram spaces and it was a sodding nightmare trying to grapple with the thing and get it onto the luggage rack, while holding an often howling baby who had just been woken up. Pram spaces are brilliant and OP in the case, gets first dibs.

No one is asking people to buy into it. Just to exercise a little compassion when approaching women who have them.

I am going to go against the majority here. If I ever see anyone treating a doll as a human in a pram I would feel bad enough to say anything and lecture them in what takes priority.
And I would feelfvery grateful not to be the mad person on the bus. I don't think there are many cases out there.
Yes, they are taking a space but their lives/ history must be so miserable to come to that point. Be glad it's not you.

@CambridgeBuns a mental illness or learning disability where you are able bodied does not entitle you to a wheelchair space either though. If they are unable to leave the house without the doll they can hold it and make space for actual real living humans.

I wore mine in a sling as newborns on public transport. Then, as mentioned, had umbrella pushchairs. I missed the point in time when mothers became so entitled. Many also expect seats for each child. Public transport is just this. Transport for the public. Disabled passengers should get priority, at least for safety’s sake, if not common decency. From then on, it’s first come, first served. Why should I give up my seat when I’ve been working all day so a child, who could fit in a lap, can have a sit down in between climbing on it?

This is batshit. We don’t all have to pander to ridiculous behaviour just because someone might have mental health issues.

@girlswillbegirls
So it is pouring with rain, I have to get my baby to a doctors appointment and the next bus is in an hour. I should just let it be because that person has had a hard life?

Why are we encouraging women to be doormats. There is nothing wrong with standing up for your right to take up space somewhere. Regardless of other peoples circumstances - You can handle it kindly but you don't need to roll over and do nothing.

Must be tempting to dump your shopping bags on top of their pram

You are perfectly able to carry your baby in a sling and fold up your pushchair/leave it at home. You’re a parent, not disabled. Do you expect to take your open pram onto a plane? What about a crowded tube? “Off you get commuters. Entitled mum approaching.”

I’ve not read anything nasty. I have read women not buying into the craziness that is reborn dolls though.

You don't have to buy into anything by dealing politely with this situation.

Don't even go into the possibilities of why. That's your prerogative.

@denpark

I agree. They need help. Not to be called crazy or freaky or the various other things people are being calling them on here.

@CambridgeBuns our busses have designated pushchair spaces so yes as a parent with a pushchair I do feel "entitled" to them as they were created for people like me.

My baby hated the sling and screamed every time she was put it in - should I never go on public transport?

I am happy to wait on the next bus if a wheelchair is on or full or other real babies but not a doll.

But to counter why can't the doll go in a sling?

Does that apply to the women with the dolls as well?

Put the doll in a sling, then. Easier all around, I'd guess.

And the people with dolls are perfectly able to leave them at home rather than taking up space on buses, because they're NOT REAL

But these women have pushchairs so surely can use it too?

Why do women do this?

I have seen a woman pushing a pushchair. As it was a very beautiful child, I smiled and looked at the baby.

Only then I realised it was a doll.

Is it to deal with trauma/baby loss/infertility?

Anyway, whatever floats your boat, but I don't think dolls should take up space that's reserved for human babies on the bus.

I was in the dentist sorry. I have replied stating I will take a sling with me as it may be handy. I'm still going through reading replies but the general consensus is that I should ask and am not being unreasonable in asking, however I am aware there may be mental health issues at play which is why I wondered if I was unreasonable. I'm also aware of the fact that there are two of them and one of me with a baby so don't really fancy any altercations as I don't know how reasonable they'd be if I pointed out that they are dolls.

The two women are always together and the busses are usually every 30 minutes so it is quite an inconvenience. I wouldn't mind being inconvenienced by people with babies in prams or wheelchair users but it's annoying that it's people with dolls in prams.

You do realise the bay is for wheelchairs, not prams? None of you have precedence.

I forgot when it because a rule that mothers couldn't be disabled

Sling comment applies to all babies. As does folding up pushchairs. You’re not priority people because you have a baby.

Actually my local buses have two spaces - one for wheelchairs and one for pushchairs.

Yes. I wonder if they do ever carry their dolls in a sling? Or if there's more of a performative aspect to it of needing a huge frilly pram