Page 18 | Reborn dolls in the pram bay

gezelligheid · 2023-08-31T06:34:39+00:00

A couple of times now I've been unable to get on the bus with my baby in a pram because there are two local women who take their reborn dolls out in prams and take up the pram bays. I know they are reborn dolls as I've seen the dolls in their pram. I understand people have reborn dolls for many different reasons but to take up a space meaning a real baby can't get on the bus surely isn't fair? I've complained to the bus service and they've said they cannot monitor whether babies are real or not so if they get on the bus first I should ask them to put their pram down upon boarding. I'm worried this will cause an altercation on the bus so I'm wondering AIBU to say something on the bus even though it may be embarrassing for the women?

Startyabastard · 31/08/2023 21:54

I actually saw this happen when I used to live in Bristol. A lady and who I thought to be her boyfriend were sat with TWO badly done reborn dolls in a DOUBLE buggy. The pushchair was in the pushchair bay. I can't remember whether there was adequate space for a wheelchair too because there is sometimes room for both.

User5653218 · 31/08/2023 21:59

Slightly not the point but my aunt makes these dolls. Sculpts their faces, arranges rhein hair, fills their bodies with little bead things so they are the weight people specify.
I have 3 kids, have never lost a baby. She gave me one to hold once and I found it strangely comfortable. I sat on the sofa holding this doll on my shoulder and it took me right back to snuggling on the sofa with my actual babies. It was lovely. Until I remembered that it was a doll. And it smelled faintly of plastic even though it was meant to smell of talcum powder.

I can see why people like them.

Blowdown · 31/08/2023 22:01

User5653218 · 31/08/2023 21:59

Slightly not the point but my aunt makes these dolls. Sculpts their faces, arranges rhein hair, fills their bodies with little bead things so they are the weight people specify.
I have 3 kids, have never lost a baby. She gave me one to hold once and I found it strangely comfortable. I sat on the sofa holding this doll on my shoulder and it took me right back to snuggling on the sofa with my actual babies. It was lovely. Until I remembered that it was a doll. And it smelled faintly of plastic even though it was meant to smell of talcum powder.

I can see why people like them.

They can like them all then like, they can’t take up space on a bus though.

MichelleScarn · 31/08/2023 22:15

Blowdown · 31/08/2023 22:01

They can like them all then like, they can’t take up space on a bus though.

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Exactly. All this trite "in a world, where you can be anything #bekind" is ridiculous.
Telling people that others wants are above what they need. Bollocks.

girlswillbegirls · 31/08/2023 22:18

User5653218 · 31/08/2023 21:59

Slightly not the point but my aunt makes these dolls. Sculpts their faces, arranges rhein hair, fills their bodies with little bead things so they are the weight people specify.
I have 3 kids, have never lost a baby. She gave me one to hold once and I found it strangely comfortable. I sat on the sofa holding this doll on my shoulder and it took me right back to snuggling on the sofa with my actual babies. It was lovely. Until I remembered that it was a doll. And it smelled faintly of plastic even though it was meant to smell of talcum powder.

I can see why people like them.

I find this interesting. Even though you only hold the doll without any expectations, it was a very real experience that brough you back o old memories.

I can understand the logic of the therapeutical function of them for someone suffering from trauma, (dead of a baby etc), I cannot even imagine how bad it is. I don't think there are many people who carry these dolls in prams around, I don't understand why is such a big issue not to make a big deal. Its not a frequent occurrence. Let them be.

readbooksdrinktea · 31/08/2023 22:19

Blowdown · 31/08/2023 22:01

They can like them all then like, they can’t take up space on a bus though.

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This is it. Ditto buying actual formula and throwing it in the bin when there's a shortage for actual babies. That it's even a discussion is madness.

Caswallonthefox · 31/08/2023 22:22

Insommmmnia · 31/08/2023 20:26

You are potentially right that she does have some mental health issues, I'm just curious as to how having family members means you can't have lost a baby?

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I have no idea, it's how my brain works and until you said that I didn't make the connection. I apologise.

Original poster

gezelligheid · 31/08/2023 22:27

girlswillbegirls · 31/08/2023 22:18

I find this interesting. Even though you only hold the doll without any expectations, it was a very real experience that brough you back o old memories.

I can understand the logic of the therapeutical function of them for someone suffering from trauma, (dead of a baby etc), I cannot even imagine how bad it is. I don't think there are many people who carry these dolls in prams around, I don't understand why is such a big issue not to make a big deal. Its not a frequent occurrence. Let them be.

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It's frequent enough that I've encountered them multiple times and had to wait for the next bus though so??

Yes I could put my pram down but as I said earlier in the thread this would mean handing my baby over to a stranger so I could do that, or struggle holding a baby whilst putting a pram down. Why should I have to do that just so a doll can stay lay in their pram?🤔

OP posts:

MichelleScarn · 31/08/2023 22:27

girlswillbegirls · 31/08/2023 22:18

I find this interesting. Even though you only hold the doll without any expectations, it was a very real experience that brough you back o old memories.

I can understand the logic of the therapeutical function of them for someone suffering from trauma, (dead of a baby etc), I cannot even imagine how bad it is. I don't think there are many people who carry these dolls in prams around, I don't understand why is such a big issue not to make a big deal. Its not a frequent occurrence. Let them be.

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Let them be, even if it blocks actual parents of actual needed services?

girlswillbegirls · 31/08/2023 22:41

I use public transport when I go to the office and didn't encounter any case of dolls in prams (yet). There is is lady around my estate with one of them and she is clearly traumatised, unfortunately.

Maybe in some areas there are more of these dolls in prams? That could indicate this is a fashionable thing and that changes the whole thing. I wouldn't bother a women who I suspect is suffering from real trauma. I couldn't do it.
I would be livid if this is some kind of fad (ridiculous as it is). I wouldn't have a problem telling them off. But how can you tell.

wotanarse · 31/08/2023 22:53

gezelligheid · 31/08/2023 10:58

Also the way I knew they were reborn dolls: I've seen their dolls and they are very obviously fake. I've seen them on multiple occasions, waiting for buses and pottering about town, their babies are always the same and have never aged nor changed because they are dolls.

Who is actually manufacturing and selling these monstrosities?

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 31/08/2023 22:58

I actually saw this happen when I used to live in Bristol. A lady and who I thought to be her boyfriend

You thought to be her boyfriend? Did he turn out to be a (supersized) doll as well?!

Imagine how far behind schedule the buses would run if the drivers had to keep leaving their cab after every stop and going up and down, pinching babies and stuffing the ones that don't scream into the luggage rack!

Harrysarseinthedogbowl · 31/08/2023 23:00

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 31/08/2023 22:58

I actually saw this happen when I used to live in Bristol. A lady and who I thought to be her boyfriend

You thought to be her boyfriend? Did he turn out to be a (supersized) doll as well?!

Imagine how far behind schedule the buses would run if the drivers had to keep leaving their cab after every stop and going up and down, pinching babies and stuffing the ones that don't scream into the luggage rack!

😂😂
I am definitely going to start taking my life-size cardboard George Clooney on buses.

Original poster

gezelligheid · 31/08/2023 23:05

girlswillbegirls · 31/08/2023 22:41

I use public transport when I go to the office and didn't encounter any case of dolls in prams (yet). There is is lady around my estate with one of them and she is clearly traumatised, unfortunately.

Maybe in some areas there are more of these dolls in prams? That could indicate this is a fashionable thing and that changes the whole thing. I wouldn't bother a women who I suspect is suffering from real trauma. I couldn't do it.
I would be livid if this is some kind of fad (ridiculous as it is). I wouldn't have a problem telling them off. But how can you tell.

In my case it is two women who go out together with their dolls in prams. It wouldn't be as annoying if they were lone DollLadies, but as it stands they're taking up both spaces a pram would fit. Also as there are two of them it does make me more wary of confrontation which is why I would have liked the bus company to do more

OP posts:

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 31/08/2023 23:23

I am definitely going to start taking my life-size cardboard George Clooney on buses.

"These are priority seats - please give them up immediately if an artificial representation of a beautiful celebrity needs them."

Z1hun · 01/09/2023 07:03

Could you use a sling?

girlswillbegirls · 01/09/2023 07:13

gezelligheid · 31/08/2023 23:05

In my case it is two women who go out together with their dolls in prams. It wouldn't be as annoying if they were lone DollLadies, but as it stands they're taking up both spaces a pram would fit. Also as there are two of them it does make me more wary of confrontation which is why I would have liked the bus company to do more

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I see your point.

Coolwaterscoolcool · 01/09/2023 07:22

I think id ask if the two people knew each other, and then when they say yes say something like “in that case could one of you hold one of the babies and fold down a pram so I can get on. I’d do it but seeing as you two are friends it makes sense for one of you to do it as you have help with the folding and baby. Thanks ever so much”

ButterCrackers · 01/09/2023 07:54

girlswillbegirls · 01/09/2023 07:13

I see your point.

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The bus company makes their rules so why do they expect you to enforce them? Appalling. Get on the bus and ask these people to remove their prams from the pram area because the prams don’t have a baby in them. You might get abuse. Ask the driver to remove these threatening passengers who refuse to move out of the pram area. See what happens. You refuse to get off the bus because you have a baby in your pram and the pram area has prams without babies in them. The people there can argue that they have a baby but it’s a lump of plastic ie not human just like having shopping or washing, or a kid having their doll in a pram or a dog in a pram. Stand your ground. The police can be called if necessary. You are in the right. The bus company might say that they can’t check if the babies are real but once alerted to a problem they have to act. Don’t let these pram blocking bullies make you wait for the next bus. Mental health is not a consideration here because it’s the bus company rules of carriage that go first. The mother of the real baby (not commenting on the OP here) might have post partum mental/physical health problems, might have mental/physical health problems too. The pram pushers with the plastic babies don’t have priority over the mother with the human baby.

sunglassesonthetable · 01/09/2023 08:14

I think the bus company should be enforcing their rules even if they can't verify a baby.

Personally I think you say to the DollLadies

Please could you one of hold your baby so I could get my pram on? My baby needs a space.

They might agree without a murmur, pleased you acknowledged their Doll. You don't 100% know that they will be unreasonable. And this thread hasn't really helped in that respect.

If they refuse , go back to the bus driver, and explain. That is where the bus driver does need to do something.

On the buses near me the driver has a sort of speaker to the bus and he could use that in the first instance.

I'd write to Arriva again and explain that's what you plan to do and that you'd like assistance in that circumstance, ie when people who shouldn't be in the pram bay won't move.

Good Luck OP. Really feel for you.

I know it's awkward " going back to the bus driver " with a pram if there are other people getting on as well and easier said than done.

Applies to all of this really.

LemonPeonies · 01/09/2023 08:15

Of course they should move their dolls to make room for actual babies. Weird.

Tjjd2023 · 01/09/2023 08:18

As a parent to a child that uses a buggy last time we got a bus we folded it when a wheelchair user got on. No reason those women can't do the same (had I been on my own it would have been difficult with toddler in tow but luckily there were two of us)

sunglassesonthetable · 01/09/2023 08:18

OP stress in your next email to Arriva the Health and Safety Aspect of not enforcing their own rules. x

Dinojump · 01/09/2023 08:21

sunglassesonthetable · 01/09/2023 08:14

I think the bus company should be enforcing their rules even if they can't verify a baby.

Personally I think you say to the DollLadies

Please could you one of hold your baby so I could get my pram on? My baby needs a space.

They might agree without a murmur, pleased you acknowledged their Doll. You don't 100% know that they will be unreasonable. And this thread hasn't really helped in that respect.

If they refuse , go back to the bus driver, and explain. That is where the bus driver does need to do something.

On the buses near me the driver has a sort of speaker to the bus and he could use that in the first instance.

I'd write to Arriva again and explain that's what you plan to do and that you'd like assistance in that circumstance, ie when people who shouldn't be in the pram bay won't move.

Good Luck OP. Really feel for you.

I know it's awkward " going back to the bus driver " with a pram if there are other people getting on as well and easier said than done.

Applies to all of this really.

Sensible and compassionate.

Milkymilkymama · 01/09/2023 08:28

Some of you need to understand these dolls are often used after miscarriage, infertility, baby loss and still birth. They help with depression and grief.

Yes, they should be folding theirs down as its safer than doing it with a baby in one arm that cannot stand or sit unaided. But dont you dare refer to them as idiots with their toys. As a mum yourself, can you imagine losing your child now?

Ask them to fold, but do not mention the doll. Just say you can't fold while holding yours for safety. You could say it will be safer for their little one than yours.

But if you think they deserve to be embarrassed you have no empathy at all. Just imagine going through pregnancy and birth and coming home without your baby. Imagine waking up one morning to find your 4 month old dead in their cot. Have some f compassion.