AIBU to be shocked that they wouldn't let me get to my seat?

[Aquaphant]

I recently went to see a comedy show at an arena with my husband and his parents. Our seats were in the center of the row, so I had to cross in front of people no matter which way I went. My husband was in the drinks queue and his parents were already seated, so I was on my own at this point.

The approach to our seats was totally congested with people on one side, and on the other side there was only a man (early 60s I'd guess) and two women (possibly his wife and daughter) sitting at the end of the row and then it was empty all the way down to our seats. The rows surrounding our row were pretty much fully seated at this point, so there was no easier way to access my seat.

I politely asked them if could please just squeeze by to get to my seat. He snapped "These seats are taken." I was confused by his response because I obviously wasn't asking for his seat or the empty seats right next to them and said "Oh I know, I just need to get by to get to my seat over there please" and gestured beyond them to my seats. He smirked and said "Then go the other way."

I was taken aback by this and even wondered if I was the unreasonable one because he was so confident about it, so I went back down the steps and back onto the concourse to find the way to reach my seats from the other direction. This was in a large arena so it was a bit of an ordeal to find the other way up.
The concourse was completely crammed full of people so I could barely move (it was horrible and I was legitimately worried about a crowd crush). I finally found the other way up to our section, but there was a long queue up the steps, the seats were all full at that end of our row already, and it just would have been a nightmare to navigate.

At this point I resolved to not be bullied and to go the way I had originally intended. I went back and again very politely asked them if I could please just get by to access my seat down the row and he again told me with a very snappy tone "These seats are taken" and told me to go the other way.

I said "No, I'll go this way thank you" and he snarled "Fine, piss off then" and he and the women with him dramatically stood up and shuffled out onto the steps, which wasn't even necessary as I could have just walked by them if they stood up in place. Trying to give the benefit of the doubt I thanked them, even though they were being incredibly awkward and nasty.

My in laws were sitting on the closer side and the seats right in front of them were empty, so I jumped down into the row below them when I reached them so I could climb up into my seat. At this point the man and women started shouting at me, saying "Oh, so now you can go around" and cursing at me and making rude gestures. I gestured back and my MIL and the women kept glancing at each other for the whole show. I don't ever get into altercations like this and it was just so strange to me. I was flustered and taken aback by the whole episode and couldn't fully enjoy the show and just wanted to leave.

What on Earth was that all about? Who gets cheap row end seats to a comedy show in giant arena and then acts like their VIP box is being invaded when a woman politely asks to get to her seat? I think it's worth noting that I'm fairly young and petite and I'm not originally from the UK (I have an accent), so I do have to wonder if that's why he decided to give me a hard time.

AIBU to think this interaction was completely bizarre, or is this considered normal behaviour in 2023?

Like some PPs my DD works in London west end and south bank theatres and has confirmed that this is becoming a thing… people on aisle seats not letting others pass them to get to their seat. Plus a whole host of other aggressive and antisocial behaviours that front of house ushers have to face every performance. She says if OP had approached her as the usher in a similar scenario, she’d have asked the offending parties politely but firmly to move. If they still refused she’d have have had to radio for management or even security to have them removed.
what is wrong with people? 😞

Yes, he was a total knobhead.

But also, I think it's good manners - if you're in a group of people who know you've got mid-row seats - to make sure you go into your seats fairly early. Or if that's not possible, then as a single group.
Your group potentially made him stand 3 times, when it could have only been needed once if you'd waited for each other and gone in together.

Either way though, he was still really rude.

Good job they were at a comedy show because they needed to lighten the fuck up! What a cunt. You did nothing wrong and well done for standing your ground!

I am sorry this happened to you OP, and Elleherd wow outrageous behavior! There's a MN saying I remember ( haven't had to use it) Did you mean to be so rude! a perfect response.

I'm also a petite woman and have encountered similar but once when someone try to move my head from the row behind in a theatre, my then 6'4" blond and well built boyfriend stood up and politely told him to refrain from ever doing that again, his shocked and frightened face was a picture... bullies are cowards and will all meet their comeuppance eventually, not a whole lot of comfort though when you are being bullied, I'm afraid. Sorry you had such a horrid experience!

Some people just enjoy being arsey

I disagree - I often buy an aisle seat and I do so knowing I'm going to have to move to let the middle row-ers in to their seats. I also get there early (yay anxiety!) and invariably am one of the first people on my seat so have to move many times before the show. If my aisle is fairly empty then I will often stand out of the way in the aisle until just before the show starts rather than getting up and down (especially if it is a long show and the seats are cramped) but if I choose to sit down immediately, knowing the aisle is empty, then I can't complain when people who arrive later than me, but still well in time for the show, ask me to allow them to access their seats.

I do not know what group sizes everyone is coming as and as long as you are in your seat for show time then I don't care how many times I have to move as long as you are polite and efficient as it is a known consequence of sitting on the end of the row and you can't assume you won't have to move to let everyone in individually. I often go to shows alone but don't advertise that fact and I'm also polite to the people I sit next to, I always say hello and often exchange a few polite comments whilst getting settled - to someone further down the row who can see me but can't hear me it may look like I'm talking to other people in my party but we are complete strangers.

The only issue I have with middle row-ers wanting to get past is if they are a) late b) faffing about and/or c) constantly up and down for the whole show.

A couple of months ago I was in a packed old theatre where there is not much space between rows - if you want to pass someone then there is no way of not physically touching them as the rows are so narrow. Some people in our row asked to get past to their seats and only once they had started walking into the row (where everyone was standing, holding bags/coats so they had room to pass) did they stop and have a discussion about what seat numbers they were, which order they were going to sit in, did anyone need the loo, who had the snacks etc ... all the while they are literally pressed against us with bags and coats in people's faces as they were standing in our seat space. The seats were slightly reclined so as I stood and leaned back onto the seat to allow them the most room possible to get through I was left at an uncomfortable angle and had to lock my knees to keep me from slipping, which was fine for a few seconds to let them pass but the longer they stood there in my personal space the more my knees began to hurt.

In the end I had to ask them if they could move down to their seats and have their discussion because they were causing me physical pain. Fortunately one of them realised they were being totally oblivious, apologised and ushered her friends up to their seats, where they then stood in the seat space for another few minutes, shuffling round each other to sit in a certain configuration, sorting their stuff out, getting settled etc.

YANBU. That guy was just a total prick. Sorry you had to deal with that.

I choose end of row seats because (until surgery last year) it was necessary for me to visit bathroom a lot. I didn't want to disturb others and my ds is autistic and won't sit next to,strangers!!!!

I absolutely know that means I'll be up and down more times than a lift. I just smile, move kegs or stand and say I hope they enjoy the show.

These people were entitled twats. There's no reasoning with them because they can't see the world doesn't revolve around them.

Ha, id like to bet you arent black or wearing a headscarf !
I'm white and have witnessed racism many times, its just never directed at me.
Ive lost count of the times patients openly asked for a white member of staff.

There's just been a big story all over the news about this. I'm surprised you didn't see it OP. It was a theatre showing The Crucible. In the end the police had to be called because it all became so fractious.
It's a fairly new phenomenon. Luckily I've never seen it when we've been at the theatre.
There was no need for the arsy comments about cheap end seats. There are lots of shows where the end seats are just as expensive as the centre ones; and people choose the end seats for accessibility reasons.

Ah yes, that would make sense.

She’s right though? If you don’t want to be inconvenienced by getting up for people, then book front row seats where people have lots of room to walk to their seats.

Funny how you object to OP being arsy about the above and yet have no sympathy for her view that the man was racist.

Oops sorry I missed the memo that every post on this thread has to mention racism. And you missed the part in reading comprehension that would have helped you recognise my post made no comment at all about front row seats or moving. It was simply about seats costing the same. The old standard of end seats being cheaper doesn't always apply any more.
Feel free to repost someone else and be a gf. I'm sure it will a fun morning for you.

Whatever, everyone can see through you. There is a gf, but it’s not me or OP.

OP is right, if you want to throw your weight around like a VIP and not move, then book the right seats.

But you’ve made your sympathies VERY clear.

This! I always choose aisle seats if I can but appreciate it means I will need to let people past. The only time I get frustrated is when people keep going out to get drinks during the show but even then I don't say anything

But presumably the OP knows which seats were cheaper when she booked for her event so she knows that in this case the seats were cheaper.

Regardless of which the point still stands that if you're in "general seating areas" and are in an aisle seat it is a 100% predictable situation that you are going to have to move to allow others to access their seats if you arrive first and there are still empty seats in the row. The only way to avoid moving once you are in your seats is to either arrive last after everyone else is seated or book a (usually far more expensive) private box.

If it's a day ending in Y, someone on Mumsnet is denying that racism exists.

Totally agree

If that happens again I would find one of the front of house staff and tell them you are being refused access to your seat, they are used to dealing with morons like this. You shouldn't have to put up with such entitled idiotic behaviour, if they kicked off with the staff they likely would have been removed. My daughter used to work front of house, and the absolute c*s she had to deal with was a real eye opener

They obviously thought you had the ability to fly to your seats I always go for end seats if I'm taking my kids. They sometimes need the toilet. Even though I take them before going in.

I always buy end of row seats as the 2 on the end are always cheaper. Would never ever do this. Just crazy.