AIBU to be shocked that they wouldn't let me get to my seat?

[Aquaphant]

I recently went to see a comedy show at an arena with my husband and his parents. Our seats were in the center of the row, so I had to cross in front of people no matter which way I went. My husband was in the drinks queue and his parents were already seated, so I was on my own at this point.

The approach to our seats was totally congested with people on one side, and on the other side there was only a man (early 60s I'd guess) and two women (possibly his wife and daughter) sitting at the end of the row and then it was empty all the way down to our seats. The rows surrounding our row were pretty much fully seated at this point, so there was no easier way to access my seat.

I politely asked them if could please just squeeze by to get to my seat. He snapped "These seats are taken." I was confused by his response because I obviously wasn't asking for his seat or the empty seats right next to them and said "Oh I know, I just need to get by to get to my seat over there please" and gestured beyond them to my seats. He smirked and said "Then go the other way."

I was taken aback by this and even wondered if I was the unreasonable one because he was so confident about it, so I went back down the steps and back onto the concourse to find the way to reach my seats from the other direction. This was in a large arena so it was a bit of an ordeal to find the other way up.
The concourse was completely crammed full of people so I could barely move (it was horrible and I was legitimately worried about a crowd crush). I finally found the other way up to our section, but there was a long queue up the steps, the seats were all full at that end of our row already, and it just would have been a nightmare to navigate.

At this point I resolved to not be bullied and to go the way I had originally intended. I went back and again very politely asked them if I could please just get by to access my seat down the row and he again told me with a very snappy tone "These seats are taken" and told me to go the other way.

I said "No, I'll go this way thank you" and he snarled "Fine, piss off then" and he and the women with him dramatically stood up and shuffled out onto the steps, which wasn't even necessary as I could have just walked by them if they stood up in place. Trying to give the benefit of the doubt I thanked them, even though they were being incredibly awkward and nasty.

My in laws were sitting on the closer side and the seats right in front of them were empty, so I jumped down into the row below them when I reached them so I could climb up into my seat. At this point the man and women started shouting at me, saying "Oh, so now you can go around" and cursing at me and making rude gestures. I gestured back and my MIL and the women kept glancing at each other for the whole show. I don't ever get into altercations like this and it was just so strange to me. I was flustered and taken aback by the whole episode and couldn't fully enjoy the show and just wanted to leave.

What on Earth was that all about? Who gets cheap row end seats to a comedy show in giant arena and then acts like their VIP box is being invaded when a woman politely asks to get to her seat? I think it's worth noting that I'm fairly young and petite and I'm not originally from the UK (I have an accent), so I do have to wonder if that's why he decided to give me a hard time.

AIBU to think this interaction was completely bizarre, or is this considered normal behaviour in 2023?

Not the point of the thread but mmmmm…… Jason Statham

You've encountered a complete arsehole in the wild OP. I wouldn't have been as polite.

They sound absolutely bonkers OP. You were a lot more polite to them than they deserved. Rude doesn’t describe!

He sounds horrible but unfortunately there are some people who just don’t know how to behave in public.

I was in the west end for a show last week and a family sat at the end of a row looked completely affronted and put out when we tried to politely (all “excuse me, sorry”) get to our seats (there was no other way in).

Both for the start of the show and after the interval, looking daggers at us and in some cases not standing up so we had to vault over them (in a 200 year old west end theatre the seats and aisles are so tiny you really HAVE to stand up).

I began to wonder if they’d never been the theatre before and thought it would be just like being at home on the sofa (as per pp). Or maybe they were just incredibly rude like the man you encountered OP.

He’s just a rude and horrible cunt. Some people are. I rather suspect the women with him are used to his vile, confrontational nature.

This is horrible. I would have felt completely intimidated and it would have ruined my evening.

Reading that it's more common now makes me think it's safer to get the aisle seats then so no one will do this to me.

I miss the days of ushers showing you to your seats with a great big torch and them making everyone stand up.

This would have been my response

My view is that he was a total dick but I do wonder…..why did your in laws not stand up to let you past?

That's horrible, OP. I'm sorry you encountered obnoxious and aggressive people.

I'm going to have a rant (and I don't care if there's a pile-on!) but you only have to look at MN to see how aggressive and rude society has become in recent years. The casual swearing (which to me is a sign of aggression) at the most ordinary things and the leap from 0 - 60 in a millisecond in terms of expressing frustration and anger. Some people will blame Covid, but I don't buy that. Mainstream TV - especially 'reality shows' etc has become really vulgar with quarrelling, insults, crude language and aggression being seen as the norm. Of course this is going to have an effect on society as a whole - it's ridiculous to pretend otherwise.

A generation ago this kind of extreme rudeness would have been rare. You might have had someone in a theatre huffing, or a 'short' answer, but this kind of response to a perfectly normal request is something people feel permitted to do nowadays when 'anything goes'. I'm older and really, it's a thing. Modern life is stressful and humans do get stressed by it but societal norms and inhibitions seem to be disappearing. If you're angry or put out - well, just tell someone to fuck off, or worse. Horrible!

@Aquaphant sadly you have encountered a misogynistic wanker who gets off on being an awkward arsehole (I pity the women he was with, whilst also wondering why the hell they don’t call him out on it but of course we never know what goes on behind closed doors). If you were 6’ 4”, 15 stone and called Dave, this wouldn’t have happened, that’s the awful reality.

Public places and events rely on those present to display goodwill to others (letting people in/out, queuing properly, keeping an eye out for anything suspicious, helping in an emergency etc). If people can’t play their part and demonstrate goodwill, they should bloody well stay at home! I notice it more and more and won’t stand for it.

I had this once. Tbf they also refused to move for my male friend who is built like a bouncer. Wackos. They pretended not to understand English. We had to get the ushers to remove the them. It was very threatening.

Yes this, and also to illustrate the power dynamic between us (in his mind anyway). Perhaps he thought he had authority over me as my elder or something as I look young, who knows.

Also to the poster who said I managed to get to my seat without making my in laws get up - there was no way of getting to my seats without making someone get up, so I chose the entry point that inconvenienced the fewest people. Why would I make my in laws get up when I don't have to? Honestly the rude people probably didn't even need to get up, just shift their legs to the side but they just stared at me and refused to budge at all.

I used to go to a lot of plays with my parents. We used to get end seats so my dad could sit on the end and stretch his legs as he suffers from knee pain.
So obviously we got up to let people in and out because we weren't total pricks.
A few years ago I'd have been like you but I no longer take shit like that and might have just stood on his feet and then said oh sorry I thought you were standing up to get out of the way or just told him not to be a complete prick. But he was obviously a nasty bully and I'm sorry he spoiled your night.

thats very unfortunate

Yes, it seemed wild to me that they joined in with him because it was so rude. A case of folie à deux perhaps? I would have been horrified in my partner or anyone I was with acted like that.

Horrible people. I get a lot of unnecessary unpleasantness when out with my son who is disabled. It took me a long time to notice that the reason dh thought I was over sensitive/self conscious, was that ot simply doesn’t happen when he’s there, so I DO think the fact you were a younger looking line female is a factor. I’m honestly perplexed by just how horrid some people are.

If it happens again go and get a staff member and ask them to come with you. They will make the weirdo move. Alternatively just trample over his feet making sure you step really heavily on his toes 😂

Oh, I would have been really tempted to say, "Thanks love, really sorry you are married to a knobhead"
except I wouldn't have thought of it until later that evening, probably lying in bed still fuming

They sound like lunatics. I had similar at the Barbie film. We sat and watched the first few mins of the credits at the end but had a train to catch so politely whispered to the mother and daughter at the end if we could squeeze past and I got a tirade about “not letting them watch the end”.

What does he think will happen if the people at the other end of the wrong are as dickish as him? Nobody else ever sits there? And particularly when you tried the other way and came back. If they book an end seat and don't want to get up for anyone they should sit down last when everyone else is seated just as a show is about to start.

If I was in a theatre and encountered this I would have complained to the ushers that he was being abusive and hope he was removed. Not so easy in an arena though.

They were just plain rude - but it always drives me mad when people come in close to the beginning and they’re sat in the middle seats. If it’s obvious they’ve just been to the bar, I personally think it’s really inconsiderate to everybody who has got there with time to spare and got comfy. (I do appreciate though that a comedy club has a different vibe to a theatre).

You handled it really well. I would probably have threatened to break their legs if they didn’t move. I hate it when people do this

I took DS to see a play in the West End - he laughed at a joke (laughed at a normal volume for literally one second) and a man sitting in front of us turned round and shushed him. It was a comedy play. Most of the audience were laughing. People are batshit.

You always get one and sadly it was your turn.

What nasty, rude behaviour. Some people have forgotten how to behave in shared public places.