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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be shocked that they wouldn't let me get to my seat?

129 replies

Aquaphant · 29/08/2023 23:44

I recently went to see a comedy show at an arena with my husband and his parents. Our seats were in the center of the row, so I had to cross in front of people no matter which way I went. My husband was in the drinks queue and his parents were already seated, so I was on my own at this point.

The approach to our seats was totally congested with people on one side, and on the other side there was only a man (early 60s I'd guess) and two women (possibly his wife and daughter) sitting at the end of the row and then it was empty all the way down to our seats. The rows surrounding our row were pretty much fully seated at this point, so there was no easier way to access my seat.

I politely asked them if could please just squeeze by to get to my seat. He snapped "These seats are taken." I was confused by his response because I obviously wasn't asking for his seat or the empty seats right next to them and said "Oh I know, I just need to get by to get to my seat over there please" and gestured beyond them to my seats. He smirked and said "Then go the other way."

I was taken aback by this and even wondered if I was the unreasonable one because he was so confident about it, so I went back down the steps and back onto the concourse to find the way to reach my seats from the other direction. This was in a large arena so it was a bit of an ordeal to find the other way up.
The concourse was completely crammed full of people so I could barely move (it was horrible and I was legitimately worried about a crowd crush). I finally found the other way up to our section, but there was a long queue up the steps, the seats were all full at that end of our row already, and it just would have been a nightmare to navigate.

At this point I resolved to not be bullied and to go the way I had originally intended. I went back and again very politely asked them if I could please just get by to access my seat down the row and he again told me with a very snappy tone "These seats are taken" and told me to go the other way.

I said "No, I'll go this way thank you" and he snarled "Fine, piss off then" and he and the women with him dramatically stood up and shuffled out onto the steps, which wasn't even necessary as I could have just walked by them if they stood up in place. Trying to give the benefit of the doubt I thanked them, even though they were being incredibly awkward and nasty.

My in laws were sitting on the closer side and the seats right in front of them were empty, so I jumped down into the row below them when I reached them so I could climb up into my seat. At this point the man and women started shouting at me, saying "Oh, so now you can go around" and cursing at me and making rude gestures. I gestured back and my MIL and the women kept glancing at each other for the whole show. I don't ever get into altercations like this and it was just so strange to me. I was flustered and taken aback by the whole episode and couldn't fully enjoy the show and just wanted to leave.

What on Earth was that all about? Who gets cheap row end seats to a comedy show in giant arena and then acts like their VIP box is being invaded when a woman politely asks to get to her seat? I think it's worth noting that I'm fairly young and petite and I'm not originally from the UK (I have an accent), so I do have to wonder if that's why he decided to give me a hard time.

AIBU to think this interaction was completely bizarre, or is this considered normal behaviour in 2023?

OP posts:
44PumpLane · 30/08/2023 02:41

The man was just a cunt, honestly think of it no more.

If this was me he would have been given two options, either he can move for me or I'll climb over him, I'd be happy with either. However I appreciate most people aren't bolshy on that way....including my husband!

Waffle78 · 30/08/2023 02:47

Some people are total dicks. Did they behave the same when DH needed to get past?

Caroparo52 · 30/08/2023 03:59

He sounds like a bullying dick head. Not acceptable.
I would have told him to fuck off the usher to get him to allow you access to your seats and not gone round the long way .

LaPerduta · 30/08/2023 04:55

starfishmummy · 30/08/2023 00:16

We always choose end of row when we can and accept that having to get up to let people past is going to happen. The only time I've got smmohrd was at our local theatre when a group of women were constantly getting up/coming back mid show.

Smmohrd??

floribunda18 · 30/08/2023 04:58

I'd have gone past and made sure I kicked him and stood on his foot as I went through. What a twat.

rubydoobydoo · 30/08/2023 05:09

What a horrible rude man! The only time I've experienced similar was at an Alice Cooper concert of all things where you really wouldn't normally expect this kind of thing! Our seats were on one of the upper tiers with only one way to get onto the row, there were a couple sat at one end and the man was sitting with his legs stretched out. We politely said "excuse me" so we could get to our seats, his wife stood up so we could get past but he remained in situe- she tried asking him to let us by and was clearly embarrassed but he remained steadfast and we ended up awkwardly sort of clambering over his legs whilst hanging onto the seats in front for grim life (it was a very steep tier!) 😅

SkinnyMalinkyLankyLegs · 30/08/2023 05:22

They just sound like trash who were spoiling for a fight.

VioletVeeVee · 30/08/2023 05:25

They sound completely bonkers, OP.

ISeeMisledPeople · 30/08/2023 05:29

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ as it looked like the work of a previously banned poster

That's not what op said though, is it.

Op said she wondered if it played a part. Which is entirely reasonable.

pinkfondu · 30/08/2023 05:34

What happened when your husband came to the seats?

WarOnTheSlugs · 30/08/2023 06:00

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ as it looked like the work of a previously banned poster

White people meet them all the time.

Who wants to speak for white people?

Would that be ok in reverse?

Sparklesocks · 30/08/2023 06:05

What a nasty git

CrazyArmadilloLady · 30/08/2023 06:07

What you have to remember with people like this is that their life is so nothing, that this is their way to get a little power trip.

What you have to do is just politely stand your ground, and also make sure it looks if you’re trying not to laugh at them.

ChaToilLeam · 30/08/2023 06:12

I’ve heard of this happening more frequently lately. Like some people have forgotten how to behave. Of course you have to get up sometimes if you have aisle seats, it’s par for the course!

Nasty, bullying twats, they sound thick as shit. And yes, race possibly did play a part with people like that. Or just the fact you’re not a 2 metre tall bloke with hands like hams, who they’d probably decide not to try and intimidate.

Aprilx · 30/08/2023 06:31

Very odd, not something I have ever come across. Although they were right you managed to get past your in-laws without asking them to stand up! Also it is a bit much to accuse then of racism whilst making sure you make a point about their ages.

Gnomegnomegnome · 30/08/2023 06:58

He just sounds like a bully.

newnamethanks · 30/08/2023 07:01

Some people are just twats, skin colour irrelevant, they come in every shape, colour, size and gender. Sorry you had this experience.

WeAreOnTheRoadToNowhere · 30/08/2023 07:04

It seems people are getting more knobbish
I read 2 reports of fights in London theatres last weekend over exactly the same thing, those in the aisle seats refusing to let them in. One was the Crucible I can't remember which the other was

StaySpicy · 30/08/2023 07:12

LaPerduta · 30/08/2023 04:55

Smmohrd??

I think they mean 'annoyed'.

CurlewKate · 30/08/2023 07:14

When people behave in such an extreme manner it's entirely reasonable to look for extreme reasons. Under the circumstances, racism certainly need to be considered. Odd that people are
so quick to dismiss it without being there.

BarrelOfOtters · 30/08/2023 07:22

it does seem to be reported more frequently…from the Evening Standard

“Down the road on Shaftesbury Avenue, there was also a ruckus at the Gielgud Theatre during a performance of Arthur Miller’s The Crucible, which has transferred from The National. Jeremy Brier KC observed two fights during the show from his seat. “First, a fight breaks out as couple in aisle seats refuse to stand to let people pass them. Later, different fight as people accuse a couple of talking through the play,” he said. Brier was surprised, as he thought the audience for such a high-brow play would be a “thoughtful crowd”. The Gielgud were approached for comment.”

he was a bully, you did well to standup to him.

Crucible - latest news, breaking stories and comment - Evening Standard

Latest London news, business, sport, showbiz and entertainment from the London Evening Standard.

https://www.standard.co.uk/topic/crucible

BibbleandSqwauk · 30/08/2023 07:23

@CurlewKate re the age bring mentioned...maybe the op is just describing the event, maybe she's making the point that they weren't frail, very elderly people with mobility problems. She didn't say "this horrible old git wouldn't let me past".

roundtable · 30/08/2023 07:23

They sound deeply unpleasant. Your only consolation is that their lives are probably miserable. No one could be happy with that negativity.

You can apply that to some of the replies you're probably going to receive to your op too.

LakeTiticaca · 30/08/2023 07:24

Yet another of the many reasons why I don't go to gigs, shows, festivals, basically anywhere with a lot of other human beings.

Peony654 · 30/08/2023 07:26

That’s bizarre and not normal. Although theatre goers behaviour has got so much worse since Covid, I’m hardly surprised. People got too used to being on their on sofas

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