Bad attitude after asking to use the loo in Costa? Pregnancy

[Mummatobe98]

I'm only about 12-13 weeks pregnant but need to wee a lot.

I went into a Costa store which I regularly buy coffee in and asked to use their loo. They declined . I said 'I'm pregnant' and the lady at the till reluctantly gave it to me, rolled her eyes and pulled a face at her colleague.

My partner felt like saying something

Am I wrong for asking to use the loo?

Staff would be cleaning the toilet anyway, and they don’t clean it after every customer, it’s done on cycles…..
And you’re assuming the user would make a mess.

Have you got a free badge that says you are pregnant? I got one early days from TFL and it was so helpful. People just seem to respond better somehow.

I think it is mean of them especially as you are a regular. Have you got a costa card that can prove how much you’ve bought? I’d maybe write to them with your membership number and explain, maybe you’ll get some free points. And they will train their staff to be a bit kinder.

I’m perplexed about the ‘I’m pregnant, I need to use the toilet’ angle. Even AFTER my first, my urgency for a loo was far greater than at any time in my pregnancy. Let alone after several kids. If any pregnant woman wanted to queue jump me on the basis of ‘I’m pregnant’ I’d think they were mad - and potentially in for a rather rude shock if things went down my path. On this basis the vast majority of women would just be able to rock up anywhere and demand to use the loo, which seems odd.

I think OP is YABU in that one of them should have bought something, but she doesn't sound 'vulnerable' or 'like she needs a lot of support in life' - wtf?

I don't usually go to Costa, but think we should all start boycotting them until the staff have been trained to be kinder to pregnant humans.

I am currently in France and this situation hasn't arisen once...as clean, free public toilets abound. Socialism does have its benefits!

You are getting a hard time but that’s partly because you are trying to police the thread and are not wanting to hear people that disagree with you

You were not a customer at the time of use so they didn’t have to give you access but they did so it seems like a drama over nothing

I'm protecting myself from the personal comments , everyone has freedom of their opinion

Paying customers are just as likely to abuse a toilet as non paying I should imagine. And toilets will need to be cleaned regardless. This does not create extra cost. I’m trying to establish if letting someone use a toilet costs Costa money and so far I can’t see any way it can other than the pennies for a couple of squares of loo roll.
it could benefit them though, as they might buy a coffee from there next time

Is this actually company policy? Can you reference this? Costa is a franchise so what is allowed at one could be vastly different to what is allowed at another.

Well I'm glad your partner didn't say something because they were nice to let you use it when they didn't have to.

There's a huge lack of public toilets but that's down to the local council, not small businesses who have to spare staff to constantly clean them. They'd spend triple that amount of time cleaning them if they were open to everyone.

We could all claim to be pregnant when we're not and I'm sure many people do use that excuse.

So I'd just be thankful they believed you and understand why they have to have a rule in place.

This is a interesting thread to read having read so,evocative the endless Mumsnet threads about workmen who ask to use a Mumsnet term own loo.

Hope you’re okay OP - so many weird and ridiculous comments - guess Costa has more shareholders than I ever imagined. Anyway, obviously they were totally wrong. In a decent society we get by helping and supporting each other and if that includes using your discretion to allow a pregnant woman use of a loo without making her feel uncomfortable then so be it.

Then AIBU isn’t really for you

YABU, toilets are got paying customers, you weren't, doesn't matter that you go there regularly. Very easy to buy a bottle of water/muffin etc.

That's great advice if there are no locks but more and more businesses - like the one in the OP - are putting keypad locks on the doors so even if you want to "walk in confidently" it is still not going to get you into the toilet without a code/key.

Maybe it's just the town I live in but every single cafe in my town centre (and every Costa/Starbucks franchise I have visited in local towns and cities) has a keypad lock on the toilets that can only be unlocked with the code printed on your receipt ...the only unlocked toilets in the town centre are ones in McDonalds (which are always disgusting) and ones in the council owned theatre which also a community space, cafe and local information centre.

Outside of the town centre there are more open toilets but they're in places like the supermarket, and even there the accessible toilet is usually locked and only accessible with a radar key.

I'm on your side OP. When I was pregnant I had awful sickness. I wouldn't have had time to queue up and buy something! It was places and attitudes like this which made me not want to go out in case I needed the toilet and I ended up being housebound for most of the first trimester.
After that I have much more sympathy for pregnant women and if I was working in that coffee shop I would always let a pregnant woman use the toilet.

Read it again- I said “without making her feel uncomfortable “

I've had to go into a tiny pub pregnant buy a soft drink and then use the toilet, I think in future just buy something if you're desperate, I wouldn't just go in to use the toilet.

Our local McDonalds put codes on the toilets after people started using the toilets to take drugs, they also installed special lights so they couldn't see their veins properly.

A lock on the door and a sign saying customers only is indicative of policy in one branch. Many Costas have no such signs or locks so its a stretch to think this is company policy as you suggested.

Im not misunderstanding anything. I have said several times that using sundries costs a small amount to the business, I’ve also pointed out that the goodwill of the store is likely to bring in paying customers.

Some Costa stores have locked, customer toilets reserved for paying customers, and that’s fine, that’s clearly what those stores want to do, but many Costa stores have no such rule or policy. You can’t apply the same rules across franchised businesses.