To think my friend was not BU in this cafe situation?

[TicketsThisWayForTheChatsworthExpress]

My friend runs a small independent cafe that is dog friendly but the dogs have to be outdoors. Over the weekend, a family of six people came in with 2 dogs and were directed outside. The tables outside are picnic benches that seat 10, inside the tables seat six (they’re all the same size). The family went outside and took 2 picnic benches. Which annoyed my friend as that’s depriving potential customers of a bench but she let it go and said nothing.

She noticed one of the children, a boy aged about 8, having a tantrum outside because he doesn’t like eating outdoors and wants to eat indoors. Next thing she knew, his mum had brought him inside and sat him at the last available table (with an iPad blasting). She asked my friend if his order could come to that table as he doesn’t like eating outside so she said he could come in and eat alone.

My friend said she couldn’t allow this, because they don’t allow children to eat and drink unsupervised for health and safety reasons (they’d also ordered the child a hot drink). The outside area is down a large set of steps so they couldn’t have seen him from the garden. The mum said he has ADHD and doesn’t like to eat outside. My friend - who also has a DS with ADHD BTW - said sorry no we can’t take the risk of him eating alone. What she didn’t say but wanted to was ‘You’d also be taking up three tables when you should only be taking up one and I shouldn’t have to turn customers away because of this’.

Anyway she dug her heels in and the mum gave in and went back outside, the 8yo had a (small) tantrum outside and played his iPad full blast for the duration of their meal (he was asked by another waitress to turn it down which he did a fraction).

When the family paid the mum said she would be posting reviews online to say that the cafe owner is ableist and wouldn’t accommodate the needs of a disabled child. My friend said nothing, and nothing has appeared as of yet online, but she’s gutted about this accusation especially with her DS having ADHD. She said she’d never let her ADHD DS eat alone because actually the risk of him being hurt would increase greatly.

AIBU to think it’s not about ableism but about health and safety? I feel really bad for her!

Oh dear, OP is going to need to explain for the 14th or is it 15th time now….

Your friend was being perfectly reasonable as it was a health and safety issue. If the parent was that bothered about the child wanting to sit inside, the groups could have split into an "indoor" group and "outdoor" group, still taking up 2 benches but at least not 3 benches!

It would be better to put a sign dogs allowed in ourside seating area.

<Scratches head>

Is there a rather thick subsection of society that is under the impression that a garden is indoors??

Oh no that poster perfectly understood there was a sign but apparently ‘garden’ isn’t clear enough to mean ‘outside’ you have to specifically state ‘outside’ for them to understand 🤣

Yes but that’s not dog friendly is it.
its really frustrating when you find somewhere that advertises as being dog friendly only to arrive and it’s only dog friendly outside. What do I then do when it’s raining or cold and we don’t want to sit outside.

your friend needs to advertise herself as only allowing dogs outside

16th time now?

Well it depends. If I've researched somewhere, wanting a dog friendly place and saw your friends cafe advertising itself as dog friendly I'd be annoyed if it wasn't actually dog friendly when I arrived. If they just been out for a wander then fair enough but sounds like they'd made a plan to visit your friend cafe BECAUSE it was dog friendly, when in fact it isn't.

Ding ding ding - for the 14th time

She doesn’t advertise it as dog friendly. HTH.

RTF fucking T

Agreed she comes across passive aggressive. She could have allowed child with another adult inside and ask them to accomodate when more customers came

DING DING DING 15th time!

RTFT FFS

She. Doesn’t. Advertise. It. As. Dog. Friendly

RTFT.

They said they couldn’t join the 8yo because they needed to be outside with the dogs

Just ignore this absurd poster Cinnamon whatever because they have a bee in their bonnet seeing this demanding customer as the victim of OP’s brutal cafe owner. Of course you can’t leave your erratic, badly behaved, tantrumming child with a loyd ipad blaring indoors unsupervised. There is no answer which can satisfy such a selfish parent.

As I said at the beginning, the customers were batshit and anyone who disagrees is also batshit crazy.
Any poor review will be easily answered.

Sorry those customers were absolute gobshites. What did they expect? The whole restaurant to themselves and their dog? Your friend did right.

I’m placing a bet on OP getting to 50th time by 9pm…

Jesus wept!
Op, is it not dog friendly then? are you sure? 😂😂
The levels of not reading the thread on this one are amazing!
For what it's worth op I like the sound of your friend and you - common sense and everything. Pity others can't compute.

Why couldn't they just tie their dogs up outside and all eat indoors? I'm not sure why the dogs need to be treated like extra children and included in the meal.

Anyway I think your friend sounds perfectly reasonable. Personally I wouldn't mind an unsupervised kid if they were going to sit still and quietly watch something with headphones but that doesn't sound like it was the case.

I’m pouring a gin and hunkering down 🤣

It’s obvious, isn’t it!

Your friend's business- her rules.
She needs to become more assertive with who/ where/ dogs.
A "Dogs welcome in the garden" sign is more appropriate .
A group of 5 taking up 2 outdoor tables sounds greedy... plus the one inside.
Customers unreasonable.

People are pratts sometimes but as no review was left then move on.

Your friend will be able to respond fairly to a negative review and come out on top, OP. This incident won’t affect her business one iota. Most readers will think that the parent and the child were poorly behaved, and they will support your friend.

So this

The more you respond the more ridiculous you come across. Your friend was right not to allow the child stay alone but is wrong to claim her cafe is dog friendly when you make statements such as “they can go elsewhere.”

In fairness to the dog tying up question I’m not sure about my friend’s rule but given how much she tells me children just go up and bother dogs (sometimes sleeping dogs!) without so much as glancing at their owners let alone asking if it’s OK, if it was me I wouldn’t want to distress dogs unnecessarily especially if their owners weren’t around.

I remember sitting with my sister and her collie in a park a few years ago and a toddler came and pulled the poor dog’s lip back. Dog of course snapped at her and then the toddler’s parents starting taking pictures of us and threatening to report her 🙄 dicks

No. 17
She doesn’t advertise it as dog friendly.