To think my friend was not BU in this cafe situation?

[TicketsThisWayForTheChatsworthExpress]

My friend runs a small independent cafe that is dog friendly but the dogs have to be outdoors. Over the weekend, a family of six people came in with 2 dogs and were directed outside. The tables outside are picnic benches that seat 10, inside the tables seat six (they’re all the same size). The family went outside and took 2 picnic benches. Which annoyed my friend as that’s depriving potential customers of a bench but she let it go and said nothing.

She noticed one of the children, a boy aged about 8, having a tantrum outside because he doesn’t like eating outdoors and wants to eat indoors. Next thing she knew, his mum had brought him inside and sat him at the last available table (with an iPad blasting). She asked my friend if his order could come to that table as he doesn’t like eating outside so she said he could come in and eat alone.

My friend said she couldn’t allow this, because they don’t allow children to eat and drink unsupervised for health and safety reasons (they’d also ordered the child a hot drink). The outside area is down a large set of steps so they couldn’t have seen him from the garden. The mum said he has ADHD and doesn’t like to eat outside. My friend - who also has a DS with ADHD BTW - said sorry no we can’t take the risk of him eating alone. What she didn’t say but wanted to was ‘You’d also be taking up three tables when you should only be taking up one and I shouldn’t have to turn customers away because of this’.

Anyway she dug her heels in and the mum gave in and went back outside, the 8yo had a (small) tantrum outside and played his iPad full blast for the duration of their meal (he was asked by another waitress to turn it down which he did a fraction).

When the family paid the mum said she would be posting reviews online to say that the cafe owner is ableist and wouldn’t accommodate the needs of a disabled child. My friend said nothing, and nothing has appeared as of yet online, but she’s gutted about this accusation especially with her DS having ADHD. She said she’d never let her ADHD DS eat alone because actually the risk of him being hurt would increase greatly.

AIBU to think it’s not about ableism but about health and safety? I feel really bad for her!

True. They don’t have to. You’ve missed the point. If a café advertises dog friendly it is expected to allow dogs inside.
This thread, which was not initially about dogs, is going to go around in circles by those who have dogs that get it and those that don’t have dogs, and therefore seem unable to think beyond their scope, that don’t get it.

OP: take heart! I hope your friend feels better after reading this thread. The public are, in fact, by and large idiots (if this thread is any evidence) so just do what you need to do to protect yourself on social media and forget it.

ETA: oh , and I’d ban dogs entirely if I were you. Their owners appear hostile, entitled, and ineducable. THE SIGN IN THE GARDEN STATED THAT DOGS WERE WELCOME IN THE GARDEN.

It’s a bit bizarre and was rare in the 90s, I can’t believe it’s a thing nowadays. As someone who doesn’t have a dog I smell dogs instantly when they’re in somewhere and it puts me off if there’s food being served.

I was going to check out a new restaurant this weekend and thankfully I saw a trip advisor review which noted it was dog friendly which already put me off slightly and then another one that said it actually seen dogs walking across the top of the table and staff not batting an eyelid which was the deciding factor for me deciding not to go there.

I wish every restaurant and cafe that was dog friendly had to put a paw sign sticker up on their social media page etc / business entrance to easily signal to those who want a place with dogs allowed at some or all tables , and the ones that don’t have those signs can be assumed to not be dog friendly - ie. No dogs anywhere. It would make it a lot fairer for everyone.

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Am I missing something? Where does it say that he would have taken the only table left inside? Anyway, it doesn't make any difference to the fact that the family behaved very badly. But, if your friend had not advertised her establishment as dog friendly when, truthfully, it isn't, I don't think the whole situation would have occurred. They would just have chosen to go elsewhere to begin with. For your (and her) future reference, the phrase "dog friendly" these days means that dogs are welcome inside the premises. Perhaps "dog tolerant" should become a recognised phrase also, so that people like your friend who only tolerate dogs outside, have their boundaries recognised too.

I hope that she very bluntly responds in full, especially how the mother expected to be able to palm her child off on the cafe staff while she, her party and their dogs hogged an inordinate amount of outside space. No 6 year old should be dumped alone in a cafe with a hot drink for the parent's convenience.

Dog friendly means dogs are allowed inside not outside. But no your friend wasn't unreasonable

Bizmare! Surely we progress not regress. Disgusting.

*bizzare

Yes this is exactly what I was going to say.

Exactly, and to add - this restaurant that had dogs basically tap dancing on the tables was also the type of place with long shared tables and no small tables/kiosks. So unless you were in a huge group or came at a quiet time you’d likely be sharing a table with other people.

Imagine being sat next to all that especially on a rainy day 🤢

And on another note, I can’t believe people are still telling the OP her friends shouldn’t have advertised the place as dog friendly 🤣🤣

i wasn’t agreeing with you.
The exclamation mark after ‘bizarre ‘ was shock at your dogophobia (made that word up especially for you).
It was you I was describing as disgusting.

LOL at all the people with a stick up their ass about dogs. No one wants your manky dog in the cafe. Dogs don't want to be at a cafe. Go find a cafe that allows dogs inside and let the world enjoy one that doesn't.

It's not disgusting to prefer to eat your food without slobber, fleas, barking and dog hair in your immediate environment.

A contradiction if ever there was one. Poor people in this other cafe you suggest

Everything she did was perfectly reasonable - dogs outside is more than reasonable. No unattended children is also totally reasonable. Perhaps the family should be prioritising their child over their dog and leaving the dog at home in future.

Oh really I’m disgusting for not loving the idea of dogs dancing on a shared table with food involved and people eating . Sure jan! 😂

some ( not all) of you dog lovers are sick in the head. I can’t imagine your desperately low levels of hygiene if you think someone not wanting to deal with that is “disgusting” so I think you should apply that word to yourself!

Exactly, that poster is just hopeless and illogical 🤡

It’s one thing if you welcome being around all that slobber but how can someone seriously call another person “disgusting” for not wanting that?

And for suggesting businesses should advertise clearly so that BOTH people who want to eat with dogs and those who don’t can make their choices accordingly.

Lots of dog-friendly cafes have outdoor areas but won't let dogs inside.

A non-dog-friendly cafe doesn't let them in anywhere (but I am not sure such places exist anymore certainly the vast majority of cafes are dog-friendly these days!).

As for rain, your hardy dog owner can cope with a few drops of rain - they've got to take their dog for a walk rain or shine. A lot of gardens will have umbrellas or shelter anyway.

I am a bit surprised that someone is concerned about an 8 year old eating inside when a parent is a few yards away outside, though. They are 8, not 3. Do they need staff supervision?

I totally disagree. Are you saying a pub isn't dog-friendly if it only lets dogs into a certain part, or only in the garden?

Lots of pubs also have a kids' section and an adult section.

Somewhere is "friendly" if it welcomes that category of visitor. It does not mean that they have to be allowed in all areas.

The public are, in fact, by and large idiots (if this thread is any evidence) so just do what you need to do to protect yourself on social media and forget it

This is definitely true!

The thing that would annoy me most is taking up three tables and having an ipad blaring.

Letting dogs in a certain part inside is all the dog owners expect.
Were not stupid enough to allow our smelly flea ridden dogs to tap dance on all the tables 😂😂😂

You should really exaggerate your points in a discussion. Makes for a more mature conversation.
It’s your attitude that is disgusting.

This is so cathartic 😇

I don't think your friend was unreasonable to not want a child inside unattended, but it do a come across like they were maybe less helpful and accommodating because they didn't think the customers should take up the space that they were.

So it’s not dog friendly😂