To think my friend was not BU in this cafe situation?

[TicketsThisWayForTheChatsworthExpress]

My friend runs a small independent cafe that is dog friendly but the dogs have to be outdoors. Over the weekend, a family of six people came in with 2 dogs and were directed outside. The tables outside are picnic benches that seat 10, inside the tables seat six (they’re all the same size). The family went outside and took 2 picnic benches. Which annoyed my friend as that’s depriving potential customers of a bench but she let it go and said nothing.

She noticed one of the children, a boy aged about 8, having a tantrum outside because he doesn’t like eating outdoors and wants to eat indoors. Next thing she knew, his mum had brought him inside and sat him at the last available table (with an iPad blasting). She asked my friend if his order could come to that table as he doesn’t like eating outside so she said he could come in and eat alone.

My friend said she couldn’t allow this, because they don’t allow children to eat and drink unsupervised for health and safety reasons (they’d also ordered the child a hot drink). The outside area is down a large set of steps so they couldn’t have seen him from the garden. The mum said he has ADHD and doesn’t like to eat outside. My friend - who also has a DS with ADHD BTW - said sorry no we can’t take the risk of him eating alone. What she didn’t say but wanted to was ‘You’d also be taking up three tables when you should only be taking up one and I shouldn’t have to turn customers away because of this’.

Anyway she dug her heels in and the mum gave in and went back outside, the 8yo had a (small) tantrum outside and played his iPad full blast for the duration of their meal (he was asked by another waitress to turn it down which he did a fraction).

When the family paid the mum said she would be posting reviews online to say that the cafe owner is ableist and wouldn’t accommodate the needs of a disabled child. My friend said nothing, and nothing has appeared as of yet online, but she’s gutted about this accusation especially with her DS having ADHD. She said she’d never let her ADHD DS eat alone because actually the risk of him being hurt would increase greatly.

AIBU to think it’s not about ableism but about health and safety? I feel really bad for her!

You would use multiple tables in a cafe? And sit your child, who was throwing a wobble, in a different part of the cafe where you couldn't see them? Leave someone else, a stranger at that, to supervise them? Really???

Op, your friend wasn't out of order. Some people just behave like entitled idiots.

This is the trouble with using twee inaccurate language like "friendly" to describe a business - there are some people who think this means every café owner is literally their dog's actual friend and that they and their dog can do as they please.

Surely an 8 year old doesn't need close supervision while eating? What sort of accident could befall him, sitting at a table in a cafe? And it's doubtful your friend would be liable, unless it was actually her fault. Perhaps add a bit of cold water to the hot drink if she was really that worried.

The people sound v annoying, but this is one of those cases where made up health and safety rules just make you look a bit silly

If my autistic child had wanted to eat inside I'd have gone in to eat with him.

Totally agree, which is what I said earlier and got a totally snarky response from the OP/cafe owner. Because let’s face it she’s far too angry and rude with people who don’t agree with her on here to be a “friend”.

the disgruntled customers will do you a favour by adding such a review as people will know it’s not dog friendly so won’t come unless they’re happy to be outside. And then there won’t be people in the situation the people were in today where the kids wanted/needed to be outside but the family couldn’t come in because of the dog.

Oh dear, I think some on this thread aren’t playing the drinking game properly.

😂😂😂 Monday bank holiday night fun

I've read most of the thread and here are my main thoughts:

1. There is absolutely definitely no "friend" - OP is the cafe owner.

1. The customer was out of order and should have sat with her child.

1. It's definitely not a dog friendly cafe. 😂😂

(joking about number 3, soz OP)

Reading

Absolutely not true. Dog friendly is a descriptive term to describe what facilities the venue offers.
Like wheelchair access for example. I would specifically chose this venue knowing there was a ramp to access the building. Likewise I would expect my dogs to be given access indoors if it was described as such.

I suggest shw unpolitely responds.
What an awful woman the mother sounds

I would find it odd that you would sit your child at a different table to you, especially if that table was out of your sight

Goodness me - My opinion only - how hard is it to not allow dogs indoors to a cafe which has not said it is dog friendly. How hard is it to worry about an 8 year old with a hot drink on his own when his mother / father could come and sit with him when she Is worried about spills / scorching etc. People have sued for less.

Memo to self- never open a cafe. Too hard

This thread is batshit

Owner was NBU

You’ve really spent 4 pages responding on this topic? Are you so invested in this topic that this is now your sole focus and priority?

The customer was aware that their child does not like eating outside when accepting the outdoor table. If this was going to be a problem they should have politely declined the table and left to find somewhere more suited to their needs.

As far as I’m concerned, allowing dogs at outdoor tables is dog friendly. Café’s don’t have to accommodate them at all.

Well this is the most bonkers thread I've read for a while!

However it is useful in demonstrating what your friend needs to do if a negative review is posted online.

There is nothing to be gained from joining the argument. Any reply should be short and factual.

"We are sorry that you did not enjoy your experience with us however the safety of our customers and staff is paramount.
As we explained, all children must be supervised. We are a small space with hot liquids and foods being carried around and therefore ask that an adult accompanies any children eating in our premises."

You can't win the 'but, but, but' argument so don't try. Rise above it.

Oh how lovely, people coming inside with wet, smelly, dogs - what an atmosphere! You don't "have" to sit outside with your dog, just don't go to a cafe. I can't believe people are so entitled that they think they should take their dogs inside in the first place.

Access has definable and regulated standards. There are building reg requirements for ramps, door widths, fire evacuation plans for wheelchair users etc.

’dog friendly’ means whatever the business owner extends it to mean.

How is a cafe dog friendly if the dog and owners have to eat outside?
But these people taking up the tables do sound very rude.

Missed the point completely. I said ‘for example’ perhaps I should have used something more simple

Doubtful as the parent sounds an idiot. Also if the child had been burned by the hot drink lets all guess who the caring parent would have blamed

And take yet another table?

I am a dog owner and I think dogs allowed outside is dog friendly. Many places do not even allow them outside including pubs.

Me and DH are well used to sitting outside in the rain to eat with our dog. If you are on holiday and the only eating places where a dog is allowed are outside then you have to sit outside. What else are you going to do? We certainly would not leave our dog alone in a strange cottage or hotel room just so we could go and eat

@TicketsThisWayForTheChatsworthExpress sooo…why did your friend advertise it as dog friendly? I don't get it, so confusing …and I really don’t think you’ve clarified the misunderstanding enough times?

😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

sorry, i was lurking and I just registered to make this comment because I’ve had tears and proper belly laughter reading this thread and the lack of reading comprehension.

Surely you can read all the OP’s posts or at least most of them and you’d see it clearly stated dogs allowed in the garden? 😂but I can’t even complain because it has tickled me so much - I’m grateful for the stupidity on display.

on a serious note OP, the cafe owner is NBU. I don’t get why one of the adults didn’t come and sit inside with the 8 year old? I am ND myself and don’t like eating outside but the way the mother used that as an attempted “gotcha” isn’t great and I’d not be happy about that if I was the child.

When they seen the sign that said dogs outside or were told by the owner why did they not take into consideration their kid wouldn’t like this since they’d have to eat outside too? They failed to consider their child’s needs for and are taking it out on the cafe owner. It would be easy for the owner to respond to this on a Google review and say something like an adult was welcome to join the child inside if they wanted to accommodate this.