To think my friend was not BU in this cafe situation?

[TicketsThisWayForTheChatsworthExpress]

My friend runs a small independent cafe that is dog friendly but the dogs have to be outdoors. Over the weekend, a family of six people came in with 2 dogs and were directed outside. The tables outside are picnic benches that seat 10, inside the tables seat six (they’re all the same size). The family went outside and took 2 picnic benches. Which annoyed my friend as that’s depriving potential customers of a bench but she let it go and said nothing.

She noticed one of the children, a boy aged about 8, having a tantrum outside because he doesn’t like eating outdoors and wants to eat indoors. Next thing she knew, his mum had brought him inside and sat him at the last available table (with an iPad blasting). She asked my friend if his order could come to that table as he doesn’t like eating outside so she said he could come in and eat alone.

My friend said she couldn’t allow this, because they don’t allow children to eat and drink unsupervised for health and safety reasons (they’d also ordered the child a hot drink). The outside area is down a large set of steps so they couldn’t have seen him from the garden. The mum said he has ADHD and doesn’t like to eat outside. My friend - who also has a DS with ADHD BTW - said sorry no we can’t take the risk of him eating alone. What she didn’t say but wanted to was ‘You’d also be taking up three tables when you should only be taking up one and I shouldn’t have to turn customers away because of this’.

Anyway she dug her heels in and the mum gave in and went back outside, the 8yo had a (small) tantrum outside and played his iPad full blast for the duration of their meal (he was asked by another waitress to turn it down which he did a fraction).

When the family paid the mum said she would be posting reviews online to say that the cafe owner is ableist and wouldn’t accommodate the needs of a disabled child. My friend said nothing, and nothing has appeared as of yet online, but she’s gutted about this accusation especially with her DS having ADHD. She said she’d never let her ADHD DS eat alone because actually the risk of him being hurt would increase greatly.

AIBU to think it’s not about ableism but about health and safety? I feel really bad for her!

Cool! Do I get a medal for that?

They had dogs so have to sit outdoors fair enough. If child needed to eat indoors one grown up should have sat with him. Then the others could have shared one bench. It's hard to say without being there but it sounds like she was pretty irritated so maybe she could have managed it better to avoid a shitty review.

There's space under cover, outside, for about 40 customers (with dogs) if they don't piss about wanting a table per couple / per child. Sometimes when it's raining, dog walkers and dog walking families need to consider sharing a big table or a veranda.
That's fine and reasonable because you are undercover.

So your friend did mention that she can leave her son with an adult?

The mum said when she first sat him at the table that they’d sit with him but they need to be with the dogs.

Based on the information in your OP, it didnt come across as dog friendly.

No need for these laughing emojis. If anybody need to be laughed at is you for your lack of ability to understand other perspectives. If you are the cafe owner, you are not right for a job in hospitality. The way you are getting offended by the term dog tolerant for the cafe, makes me suspect it is your cafe.

To be honest I think your the cafe owner from the way your so invested in this!
Either way either you or your friend need to seriously improve your customer service skills!

No what they wanted wasn't reasonable but you/your friend didn't handle it well at all. When it comes to customer service it doesn't matter who is right or wrong. What matter is being seen to be flexible and accommodating. Asking the child to turn down their tablet was a step too far. They were outside as requested by the owner - even if the tablet was a bit loud it should have been let go as they were outside and it was simply unnecessary and unfriendly.

Welcome to the real world…unfortunately everyone has the opportunity to raise a complaint, bad review, grievance etc in all aspects of life - whether it is well founded or not.

All your friend can do is control her own response.

I would recommend replying to the review in a kind manner (not in a petty, tit for tat way that comes across in the OP).

Ultimately the child potentially being disabled will be the headline, so your friend saying she was “concerned about 3 tables being occupied by 1 party and turning other paying guests away” would be a bad look. I don’t think mentioning she has a son with ADHD is particularly relevant either, it’s like saying “I’m not racist as I have a black colleague”. Did your friend do absolutely everything they could to support a disabled guest? If so, say that.

original OP wording open to interpretation. No need to shout.
your anger is coming from a place where not everyone is agreeing with you
you should let it go now

They were outside as requested by the owner - even if the tablet was a bit loud it should have been let go as they were outside and it was simply unnecessary and unfriendly.

So the other customers in the garden area should have to put up with a loud tablet? That’s a bit unfriendly towards them, isn’t it?

We are going to be blotto

I think your "friend" needed to use her words to say "I'm happy for him to sit inside if an adult stays with him at a table for two, but please ask the rest of your group to share just one table so that there are more seats for other customers. Thank you." Failure to say what your "friend" actually wanted led to nobody getting anything they wanted; two tables for 10 were still used, the kid didn't get to eat where he wanted, and everyone got disrupted.

Why would you get something good!
You’re just proving yourself over and over what a mean and rude person you are.
keep going, your embarrassing yourself

This

I can see both sides here.

We don't know the family set up so maybe it was mum, children and dog with brother, children and dog. Two parts of one family and the mum had to both be inside with one child and outside with dog.
I can sympathize with her but ultimately, the business sets the rules. In this case, the rules seem really clear and fair. The friend can't take responsibility for random kids. It's not fair to expect businesses to do that.

Okay that sounds bigger than it originally sounded, or more spaciously laid out

If your friend gets a bad review she just needs to politely reply that unfortunately under 8s are not allowed unaccompanied in the cafe. If she tries to say it was more important because of the adhd that could just end up sounding wrong.

And she needs to get over the irritation of using up 3 tables. There were 6 of them, if it had been a three, a couple and a single person spread over three tables would she still have been irritated?

YOU…..in YOUR own words in YOUR original post said DOG FRIENDLY.
If YOU didn’t deny and backtrack YOUR words YOUR 14 reiterations that are angering YOU wouldn’t be necessary.

I did. But I’ve also seen you use this diagnosis as justification for why it was definitely the right course of action. That is ableism.

bravo.

She shouldn't be advertising her vaguely dog tolerant cafe as "dog friendly". The lady should be including that misinformation in her review, which would be a lot more useful to dog owners who would otherwise be let down thinking it's a genuinely dog friendly venue.

She isn’t! OP has clarified (quite a few times) that the actual wording the cafe owner uses is “dogs welcome in our garden”. It was the OP who used the term dog-friendly.

As a dog owner. Here here. Although…………..is she advertising it as such or has the OP misquoted? You got a lot to catch up on if you read back. There’s one lady out there that’s on her third bottle of wine 😂

@Brendabigbaps completely agree! If her friend is as rude OP is it’s no wonder the family are wanting to leave a bad review!

OP has got to be the owner😂 there’s no way someone would be this arsed if it wasn’t directed at them! If not the owner, OP certainly needs to get a life and understand that not everyone is the same! Bad reviews will happen from time to time.

OP wasn’t even there so for her to say the customer was unreasonable is weird, she’s going off what her friend has told her🤔😂.

hic…

this thread is going to make me ill

Cheers!

I can see the huge backtrack where the owner OP changed the definition more than once. Nothing wrong with clarifying it in a review. I'm not a dog owner, but would like to know in advance if I could take a dog inside or not.