To have told my friend exactly what I think of her?

[foreverreverof]

Now ex-friend. In February I hurt my wrist and had to cancel meeting up with her because I couldn’t drive. Turns out that I broke it. She never once since that day reached out to me to ask how I am, spoke to me at all or asked to meet up.

Shes (from her Instagram) out with friends most weekends and yesterday after I saw she was going on a spa weekend I just snapped and told her what I thought and that I didn’t want to be friends anymore, she’s never checked in on me and that she’s selfish. She messaged me back saying it was odd I was still worked up over something that happened ages ago, that it’s attention seeking and she “won’t react to it” and then blocked me.

So you had to cancel as you got injured and she never, ever got in touch with you after you cancelled in February? Or have you been in touch since she just never asked how you were at the time?

I think you have overreacted by sending her that message ,you seem to think that everything should revolve around you and that she should have done more? But you could also have made more efforts in getting back in touch , you seem to think it should , have all been on her making the effort and chasing you? I think you think she should have cared more?
unless we’re missing a backstory it all does seem immature and I think your both best out of the friendship

Hmm, I wouldn’t have snapped six months later, but I agree that it wasn’t nice of her not to ask after you at the time, I would if a friend told me they’d hurt their wrist and had to cancel something.

Perhaps it’s just my friends, but we tend to check in with each other by text if we’re hurt/ill. Just a simple “how’s your wrist?” Or “Hope you’re feeling better” would be normal to me.

I'd be hurt too. But I think a better way forward would have been to ask her out, see how things were going, maybe mention you were a bit hurt in a non blamey way to evaluate the reaction . If she didn't respond or ghosted you then I'd have just gone for the drift. I wouldn't have blamed her months later. That won't get you anywhere.

I had thought that you were going to say either that she had kicked up a fuss over your cancelling and refused to accept your inability to come, or that you had asked for some help and she had categorically refused. A broken wrist, unpleasant as it is, isn't something life-threatening, or something that people are automatically going to check up on, unless they are either very close friends, or in a position to provide practical help. After all, some people find it intrusive or anxiety-provoking if people check up too much about their ailments. And I do think that if you minded that much, you should have said something at the time, rather than suddenly exploding six months later.

Of course, there may be things that you're not mentioning: maybe she is in general ignoring or 'ghosting' you; maybe she was unreasonably cross that you couldn't see her at the 'appointed' time, and has been giving you the 'cold shoulder'. But if it's JUST the failure to check up, I think you are OTT.

Sounds like the friend had a lucky escape. I had a broken ankle AND broken hip, and had no difficulty arranging time with friends. A wrist will hurt possibly, but it's relatively nothing. If be passed off if a friend thought the world revolved around her, without her making any effort, because she's a bit ill.

Why would you want a friend who doesn’t care?

In any event, it’s a lot of drama isn’t it…. Blocking you? 😂bloody hell.

Sorry but you sound very immature.

OP you need to get of insta its clearly a trigger for you .

Another one who is Team Ex-Friend. I'm sure she won't be unhappy to be released from your dramatics. You had a broken wrist, not a life threatening illness, and what was stopping you from arranging another meeting? Honestly, this makes you sound like a very young teen.

So she didn't even know that you'd broken it.
You cancelled as you'd hurt your wrist, and you never got back to her.
As far as she was concerned you'd bruised your wrist badly. That hardly required great concern and a care package.

This is bonkers. As another pp said, you went from 0 to 100 with no real reason. She did the only thing that she could reasonably do: told you this was mad, and blocked you.

Op- yes, a good friend would probably have checked in with you.

It's not a big deal though and you seem to worked yourself into a bit of a froth about it over the past 6 months- all without her knowledge or involvement. No wonder she's a bit blindsided and decided to block you.

You've taken a small slight and blown it out of proportion. Never mind- sounds like you weren't suited as friends anyway. Don't stew, move on.

Exactly this.
Were you thinking that she would grovel and apologise for being a bad friend. That was probably naive if that's what you were hoping for.

Are you 14?

This. Friends. As in 'friendly'. Not as in 'pain in the arse'.

Yabu. I wouldn't give a broken wrist a huge amount of thought unless there's something significant you've not mentioned?

Doesn't really matter what we think, we're not your friend. She thinks you've been a dick and doesn't want to engage now. If you're happy to lose the friendship this way, no issue. MN is full of women who are "friends" with people they loathe.

It was thoughtless of your friend OP not to at least check in with you a few days later. But tbh I wouldn’t have waited six months. I’d have just wrote her off after a month, and let the friendship go. Six months is a long time to hold onto this.

Very odd replies. If I cancelled a meet up with friend due to being unwell I’d expect driends to express concern and follow up to see how I’m doing. And I’d do the same.

But even if you didn't, would you expect nothing for six months and then a massive rant because she saw you'd been socialising?

Some people assume that everyone else stews on things like they do and telepathically know how long they've been angry for.

How old are you? Why are you in a huff about that? Your friend clearly has a life and you are not the centre of it. Get over it.

Earlier this year it was my birthday. I invited people for a dinner party at mine.

A couple of friends cancelled, due to illness (it was winter). One of the friends never bothered to rearrange, and never texted me again, so I decided to drop her. I didnt block her, or "tell her exactly what i think of her", but clearly she isnt that interested in our friendship, so I decided to not put any more effort in either. We havent spoken since, apart from me wishing her a happy birthday, and her saying thanks.

(the other friend texted me days later to get together)

You were the one who cancelled, so it was on YOU to reach out and make other plans. You didnt, and then had the nerve to call our your friend, who obviously thought you were a CF drama queen.

@DrSbaitso youre right I would have written the friend off months ago.

😂 that's exactly what I meant! Massive!

Huh?

She could have sent a message after seeing your wrist photos but it’s not a big deal that she didn’t, people’s lives get busy and sometimes communication goes out the window.