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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have told my friend exactly what I think of her?

143 replies

foreverreverof · 26/08/2023 18:12

Now ex-friend. In February I hurt my wrist and had to cancel meeting up with her because I couldn’t drive. Turns out that I broke it. She never once since that day reached out to me to ask how I am, spoke to me at all or asked to meet up.

Shes (from her Instagram) out with friends most weekends and yesterday after I saw she was going on a spa weekend I just snapped and told her what I thought and that I didn’t want to be friends anymore, she’s never checked in on me and that she’s selfish. She messaged me back saying it was odd I was still worked up over something that happened ages ago, that it’s attention seeking and she “won’t react to it” and then blocked me.

OP posts:
TookTheBook · 26/08/2023 19:08

I also think you should have contacted her to rearrange.

You could have updated her about your wrist if you wanted sympathy at the time ("turns out it's broken, ouch I feel miserable").

But you sat and stewed while the world keeps turning.

GolgafrinchamB · 26/08/2023 19:09

Clefable · 26/08/2023 18:41

Waiting for the 'The OP has asked us to take this down as it's causing them distress' post...

Absolutely this!

OP, your reaction was bizarre. You stood someone up (for an understandable reason) in February, don't speak to them for 6 months, then get in contact to rant that you are dumping nthem as a friend because you saw details about a spa trip? That's just weird.

Not surprised she blocked you.

MorePressureMoreRelease · 26/08/2023 19:10

Life is too short for this level of drama

HotWaxToTheMax · 26/08/2023 19:11

@foreverreverof it does seem like you had placed a lot of emphasis on this friendship to be so upset several months later.
Do you have a wide circle of friends?
By falling out with this person, has that altered other friendships/group dynamics?
My feeling is you're quite isolated and are looking at this person having fun every weekend and wondering why you weren't being invited?
How old are you?

PrinceHaz · 26/08/2023 19:12

I think you’re best of without each other.

KajsaKavat · 26/08/2023 19:13

foreverreverof · 26/08/2023 18:21

No, because when I cancelled she didn’t acknowledge it, she just did and said nothing and I was in agony. She didn’t ask me to rearrange either.

Show quote history

If you cancelled it was on you to rebook.

Missedmytoe · 26/08/2023 19:16

So, when you sent the photo of your wrist, you didn't know it was broken?
Did you tell your friend you'd broken it?
If someone cancelled on me because of a sore wrist and sent a photo, apart from thinking it was overkill, I'd probably have replied 'looks sore' and left it to them to rearrange, whilst secretly thinking it was a bit flaky.
If someone cancelled on me and said they'd broken their wrist, I'd have wished them a speedy recovery, checked if they could manage things OK, and suggested they let me know when they were available to meet up.
Context is everything.

Cinateel · 26/08/2023 19:16

Are you 11?

pimplebum · 26/08/2023 19:18

You shouldn't have sent the childish message but clearly you aren't friends so nothing lost there

She should have checked up on you , she clearly wasn't bothered

Riapia · 26/08/2023 19:18

I broke my wrist OP. People on MN have no idea how much it restricts you.
A true friend would have been there to help you wipe your bum.
Fortunately I had friends that rushed to assist me.
😉😁😁

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 26/08/2023 19:19

She messaged me back saying it was odd I was still worked up over something

If those were the words she used then don't worry . She'll see this .

couldn't get worked up is a pure MN phrase that I have never heard out in the Real World . (and I hate that phrase )

CornishGem1975 · 26/08/2023 19:19

Seems like a massive over-reaction.

JanieEyre · 26/08/2023 19:22

You don't know what's been going on in your friend's life in the intervening period. It would have made sense for you just to send a friendly message at some point rather than just stay silent then explode at her.

Hankunamatata · 26/08/2023 19:22

You cancelled, sent her a photo of bruised wrist. Why didn't you then message her to say it was broken and you would be out of action for a while

Your reaction is massively ott

Hyppogriff · 26/08/2023 19:25

You sound about 14 and like you need some other things to worry about

JanieEyre · 26/08/2023 19:26

If someone cancelled on me because of a wounded wrist and didn't get back to me to update, I would assume that it hadn't been anything more than a sprain, which is not really the sort of thing you check back on. I think I would also assume that that person would be the one to rearrange as they had been the one to cancel.

If you value your friendship, time for eating a LOT of humble pie.

BalletBob · 26/08/2023 19:27

I haven’t RTFT so will try to be gentle as I imagine you’ve had some sharp replies…

It wouldn’t occur to me to expect any kind of support or concern from anyone outside my own household over a broken wrist. It’s just not really a big deal in the grand scheme of things. So really, all that’s happened is that you had plans which got cancelled and then neither of you bothered to contact the other for several months. Maybe you’ve drifted or maybe you just weren’t that close to begin with. But she didn’t deserve the outburst from you and I think she handled it fairly well, tbh.

If you valued her friendship previously perhaps you could consider apologising and then making more effort in future to keep the friendship going. Or if you feel she’s not invested at the same level as you, perhaps it’s best to just call it a day. There’s no harm in getting in touch to apologise, even if the friendship has run its course, so that you’re not leaving things on a sour note.

DinnaeFashYersel · 26/08/2023 19:28

You sound like a bit of a drama llama

livinglifetothefull · 26/08/2023 19:28

FFS Do grown woman act like this I broke my wrist and my friend is not checking on me she's not your mother. You sound jealous of her and very needy .and a lot of drama. I with your friend she didn't want the drama anymore and blocked you as would I .

JenniferMelfiSoprano · 26/08/2023 19:29

I always click on these threads to make sure it isn't about me 😂 it never is. Ha!

I'll go back to eating my giant salad.

Letitgonowgr · 26/08/2023 19:31

Wow bit dramatic?!
Do you have form for cancelling things and being flaky? I had a friend like this and got fed up. Or maybe, just maybe she was having a bad day and had more going on that she needed to worry about and you’re not the center of her world. You didn’t contact her again and so you’re just as bad. Sounds like the friendship needed to end.

SapphosRock · 26/08/2023 19:31

I won't repeat what everyone else has said but yes OP YABU.

However a broken wrist is really painful

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 26/08/2023 19:32

JenniferMelfiSoprano · 26/08/2023 19:29

I always click on these threads to make sure it isn't about me 😂 it never is. Ha!

I'll go back to eating my giant salad.

Massive Salad surely Grin

Curseofthenation · 26/08/2023 19:32

You sound a bit annoying. I probably would have started my message with a 'Poor you' in response but not much more for a swollen wrist. You obviously weren't close to have not met up since.

DarkForces · 26/08/2023 19:33

I'm confused about why she shouldn't have gone to a spa. I can understand she probably should have sent back a sympathetic message back (but I wouldn't have worried about it) but why was going to a spa an issue?

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