Page 4 | My parents sold my childhood home and lied to me about it. AIBU to be heartbroken?

WASPIT · 2023-08-26T15:41:45+00:00

Just venting. They told me they had rented it out, just to tell me eight months later that they had actually sold it. AIBU to feel heartbroken? I wish they had told me the truth initially

dottiedodah · 26/08/2023 17:28

Perhaps that was their first thought to rent it out .However with living abroad maybe they felt it impractical to keep an eye on it while so far away? They would still have all the bills to pay and the upkeep as well.As they are older maybe they felt it impractical to do so. Possibly had to let it go and sad to do it.

Hellsbellsandspidersankles · 26/08/2023 17:30

Why does it matter so much to you?
Clearly none of you were actually living in it 🤷🏻‍♀️

itsgettingweird · 26/08/2023 17:33

itsgettingweird · 26/08/2023 17:28

"My" childhood home.

It's their home. One they bought and earned the money to pay for.

One they've decided to sell because it benefits them.

I've no idea why they lied but your reaction to finding out it's been sold could be a clue?

Ah story posted before I'd read your updates.

So you're heartbroken at being lied to? That's more understandable. Especially when everyone else knew the truth.

Maybe they felt bad about selling it under market and underpriced because of all the help you'd given them?

I'd actually be quite concerned that they needed to accept a quick sale. Are they having money worries they don't want to burden you with?

Fallingthroughclouds · 26/08/2023 17:36

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FGS a stranger on the internet is upset about one thing. You have no previous experience of her and you type this. Is everything you say always so mean and judgemental?

Playingintheshadow · 26/08/2023 17:36

arethereanyleftatall · 26/08/2023 17:00

That's all very very strange.

Normal families...
'We're selling our house'
'Oooh exciting, where are you moving to?'

Oh ffs! Where did you have your empathy bypass?

I understand you being upset and not sure why they lied about it - that's the worst bit.

Our family home has been in the family for three generations and I'd be sad to see it go. It doesn't hold the same emotional attachment for me as it once did though, as both my parents are dead now.

Playingintheshadow · 26/08/2023 17:39

User124929321 · 26/08/2023 17:13

You were lied to by people whom you trusted, and you never got to say goodbye to a place you loved. YANBU and there are some very harsh replies on this thread.

^ this.

Lord there are some assholes on this forum!

BitOutOfPractice · 26/08/2023 17:41

I hate this mn tendency to belittle people’s feelings.

of course the op has feelings about the house she grew up in. Regardless of whose name was on the deeds, it was her home too at a formative time of her life. She allowed to have those feelings. I completely understand them. But mn loves to sneer at any sort of familial love or nostalgia or family obligation.

it reminds me of the threads where people say that kids should be abandoned when they turn 18 because they are adults and aren’t entitled to any love help or support from that day forward. Ugh!

op I can completely understand how you feel. What a horrible shock, especially knowing that everyone else knew.

CurlewKate · 26/08/2023 17:42

"My childhood home" is a perfectly normal and comprehensible term to describe the house you grew up in.

KnittedCardi · 26/08/2023 17:42

toadasoda · 26/08/2023 17:26

This thread is exactly why I don't read AIBU much anymore. Always attack and criticise.

Ffs I don't know anyone in real life who wouldn't be upset about their family home being sold. It's a big deal and very normal to be sentimental about. If OP was moaning or making them guilty and throwing a little tantrum about the sale I'd say yes they are being unreasonable, of course it's their house to sell. But they didn't tell her and that's really bad form and hurtful.

I think you are reasonable to be upset on both counts OP, the fact the house is sold and the fact they lied to you.

Really? Most people I know, my family and DH's family moved so many times as kids that a house is just somewhere to live. I just can't empathize with anyone needing to "say goodbye" to a brick box. Sympathize maybe, but weird to me.

LlynTegid · 26/08/2023 17:44

I'd be upset in your shoes. I hope this does not take away the happy memories you have of the house.

BitOutOfPractice · 26/08/2023 17:45

@KnittedCardi really? You can’t comprehend that not everyone has had the same experience as you and “most people you know”? I think that’s a bit sad.

MrsMarzetti · 26/08/2023 17:46

Your memories are in your heart and can't be sold but i do understand you would have liked to say goodbye. Your parents didn't lie to hurt you, let it go

RudsyFarmer · 26/08/2023 17:47

KnittedCardi · 26/08/2023 17:42

Really? Most people I know, my family and DH's family moved so many times as kids that a house is just somewhere to live. I just can't empathize with anyone needing to "say goodbye" to a brick box. Sympathize maybe, but weird to me.

Show quote history

Same. My family home was sold decades ago. We moved and moved and moved and moved. Then I moved and moved and moved and we’ve now been in this house for 10 years and plan on moving as soon as we can afford to.

it’s a house. Yes there are memories attached to homes and places but it doesn’t mean your parents owe you an explanation for why they released the capital on their main asset.

Kiitos · 26/08/2023 17:48

BitOutOfPractice · 26/08/2023 17:41

I hate this mn tendency to belittle people’s feelings.

of course the op has feelings about the house she grew up in. Regardless of whose name was on the deeds, it was her home too at a formative time of her life. She allowed to have those feelings. I completely understand them. But mn loves to sneer at any sort of familial love or nostalgia or family obligation.

it reminds me of the threads where people say that kids should be abandoned when they turn 18 because they are adults and aren’t entitled to any love help or support from that day forward. Ugh!

op I can completely understand how you feel. What a horrible shock, especially knowing that everyone else knew.

I agree with this. I hate the pile-on by people who are too cool to have emotions or sentimental feelings. I don’t think OP is being unreasonable.

Daffidale · 26/08/2023 17:49

KnittedCardi · 26/08/2023 17:42

Really? Most people I know, my family and DH's family moved so many times as kids that a house is just somewhere to live. I just can't empathize with anyone needing to "say goodbye" to a brick box. Sympathize maybe, but weird to me.

Show quote history

if you moved a lot I get how you wouldn’t get it. Whereas my parents moved into our family home when I was a baby. Lived there for 50 years. In the end I was the one who had to sell it. Heartbreaking. 50 years of family memories. So much more than a “brick box”.

OP is entitled to be upset both by the sale and for being lied to about it.

Screwballs · 26/08/2023 17:52

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Literally always one that's just here for the spite.

readbooksdrinktea · 26/08/2023 17:53

There was no reason to lie to you, it was theirs to sell.

cobden28 · 26/08/2023 17:54

It's their home so theirs to rent out or sell as they see fit. Had they not sold your childhood home, would you have liked the opportunity to mbuy it yourself and move in?

Toddlerteaplease · 26/08/2023 17:55

I was sad that it was the end of an era when my parents sold their house. As they'd bought off plan when they married. But not heartbroken!

Biscuitandacuppa · 26/08/2023 17:57

I used to love the camaraderie, support and witty comments on mn, lately it just feels like a place where people enjoy being incredibly rude to people.

OP I’d be upset too, mostly because of the lying but also because it would have been nice to say goodbye to a place that held so many memories. I imagine your parents are mortally embarrassed by it all.

MzHz · 26/08/2023 17:58

My mother sold her (our childhood) house - I knew about this but she told EVERYONE about having had an offer, having found a place and exchanging on it.

me? Nada. I over heard her talking about it.

its not the fact that the house is sold that hurts, it’s the fact that for some reason we’re excluded from this information

I asked her why she did that and she told me by email that “we were never that close”

ouch.

that was the end of our relationship there. The nail in the coffin was her and her vile husband trying to force the issue by hammering on my door, being aggressive and terrifying my little boy.

I saw her recently. I felt nothing. Spoke to her like I spoke to anyone else, no more, no less. I felt nothing for her at all.

@WASPIT I feel for you. This situation hurt me more than anything else ever, and I get that you’re heartbroken. It’s the situation not the location. They’ve treated you appallingly.

bryceQ · 26/08/2023 17:58

To be honest it's a bit silly to care about this in my opinion.... But 🤷‍♀️

Zapzep · 26/08/2023 17:59

Yanbu

Homes are something people form an emotional attachment to. Yes legally it was theirs to sell and presumably a big financial asset. But maybe the should have offered you the option to buy it from them first or maybe take something away as souvenir. I still feel heartbroken about moving away from my last home.

LakeTiticaca · 26/08/2023 17:59

You could across as a bit precious tbh. They probably know that and that's why they didn't tell you. My childhood home was sold last year when my mother passed away. It had been my parents home for 60 years. I felt a little sad but hoped the family who bought it would be happy there.
Then I got on with my life

TequilaNights · 26/08/2023 18:05

I get it OP.
It's the lie not the act, they found it so easy to lie to you, about something so trivial, everyone else knew.

It makes you question what else they keep from you, it's a betrayal.

I had it over a vehicle that had massive sentimental value and it was sold and I found out through a 3rd party, it soured the relationship forever. (not parents though)