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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My parents sold my childhood home and lied to me about it. AIBU to be heartbroken?

161 replies

WASPIT · 26/08/2023 16:41

Just venting.

They told me they had rented it out, just to tell me eight months later that they had actually sold it.

AIBU to feel heartbroken?

I wish they had told me the truth initially

OP posts:
MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 26/08/2023 17:10

Why did they lie? That is a very odd thing to do.

I was sad when my parents sold my childhood home. Heartbroken is quite an extreme reaction!

Gwlondon · 26/08/2023 17:12

It sucks. I wanted to go into my grandparents house to smell it and look at everything.

Original poster
WASPIT · 26/08/2023 17:12

AndIKnewYouMeantIt · 26/08/2023 17:10

Cross posted!

Edited

They had already got a second house when I was down there the last time

OP posts:
Honeychickpea · 26/08/2023 17:12

Stillcantbebothered · 26/08/2023 17:09

They are BU for lying to you and you are BU for being upset about them selling the house, it’s theirs to do what they went with.

Are you saying your parents have to keep a house even if they don’t need it anymore or can’t afford it or need the funds for others things just because you grew up there?

It would be interesting to know reason why they felt the need to lie in the first place.

Show quote history

I think the fact that the OP started this thread indicates exactly why her parents chose not to give her the opportunity for drama.

Shopper727 · 26/08/2023 17:12

It’s their house not your home childhood maybe but you have your own home,
my mum moved to Australia and sold my childhood home I got over it it’s just a house. She now has a lovely home an hour from me, home is where she is

mumda · 26/08/2023 17:12

Mine moved and didn't tell me.

Ok, minor exaggeration as I knew where they were moving to but didn't know when it happened. I wasn't living there at the time so it wasn't hugely relevant to me. They kept the same phone number so that wasn't a clue.

DoraSpenlow · 26/08/2023 17:12

This reply has been deleted

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Nasty.

We are all entitled to our feelings.

Duvetdayforme · 26/08/2023 17:13

Do you have form for being very emotional, over reacting?

You do seem unusually sensitive so I can maybe understand why they didn’t want to deal with your response.

ChatBFP · 26/08/2023 17:13

That is strange OP. I can see why you'd be sad. Do your parents have some funny beliefs about money? It sounds as if they maybe don't have the means to keep it and actually are either sad or ashamed of that? Are you wealthier than your parents so that they feel the need to save face?

User124929321 · 26/08/2023 17:13

You were lied to by people whom you trusted, and you never got to say goodbye to a place you loved. YANBU and there are some very harsh replies on this thread.

CurlewKate · 26/08/2023 17:14

Of course the OP knows she's being a bit unreasonable! But she's allowed to be upset. It's perfectly natural. And it's sad that her parents didn't tell her. Obviously their right. But still sad.

CherryMaDeara · 26/08/2023 17:14

WASPIT · 26/08/2023 17:09

They did mention selling it a first, which I was fine about. Their house not mine. I even helped them with the agencies etc...

They ended up telling me they wanted to keep it, rent it out but keep it in the family. Then they said they had done exactly just that.
I was the last one to know about it. My sibling knows that they sold it. So do my aunts and uncles.

They live abroad and I go visit them once a year. I'm just sad I didn't know it was the last time I would be in the house.

I'm more heartbroken that they lied to me unnecessarily.

My mum said they had kept it from me because they were ashamed of the price they had sold it at. Much lower than what they had anticipated. But I don't understand what's that got to do with it.

Were you not curious who they sold it to in the family?

YANBU though, sounds like they lied for no real reason.

I wouldn’t fall out with them, sounds like they are bruised from the price achieved.

But in future don’t feel obliged to tell them your news at the same time as others.

AussieBlue · 26/08/2023 17:15

I can see why you're upset that you were last to know.

Don't dwell on things that won't matter in 5 years. And move on 😊

Original poster
WASPIT · 26/08/2023 17:18

AussieBlue · 26/08/2023 17:15

I can see why you're upset that you were last to know.

Don't dwell on things that won't matter in 5 years. And move on 😊

Thank you, you're right

OP posts:
ChatBFP · 26/08/2023 17:18

Do you think that your parents felt that they had made a foolish promise to you to keep it in the family that you were really pleased about and weren't sure how to backtrack when they realised for whatever reason it was impractical or unaffordable?

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 26/08/2023 17:19

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I'm guessing so....

ChatBFP · 26/08/2023 17:19

And weren't sure how to tell you that it also wasn't worth as much as you all thought it was either. Sounds as if they might also have very mixed feelings about leaving too.

Honeychickpea · 26/08/2023 17:22

snowballsinhell · 26/08/2023 17:01

Is that your inheritance gone? Is that why you're so heartbroken?

Perhaps expected to be handed the house as an early inheritance?

Original poster
WASPIT · 26/08/2023 17:22

ChatBFP · 26/08/2023 17:18

Do you think that your parents felt that they had made a foolish promise to you to keep it in the family that you were really pleased about and weren't sure how to backtrack when they realised for whatever reason it was impractical or unaffordable?

They did tell me they wanted to keep in the family in the end. But I don't know why they said that.

They had mentioned selling the house years before they actually put it in the market. Then they asked me to help them promote it on agencies and stuff, which I did. Then they just said they thought about it and wanted to keep it, rent it out, and keep it in the family because they had it built it from scratch basically.

Then they told me they had finally rented it.

I'm confused

OP posts:
Original poster
WASPIT · 26/08/2023 17:23

ChatBFP · 26/08/2023 17:19

And weren't sure how to tell you that it also wasn't worth as much as you all thought it was either. Sounds as if they might also have very mixed feelings about leaving too.

That's probably it

OP posts:
Germsny · 26/08/2023 17:24

So many nasty replies on this thread. It is frankly bizarre behaviour for Op's parents to lie about selling their house. Of course you are justified being upset about being lied to OP. Any normal person would be.

Original poster
WASPIT · 26/08/2023 17:25

Germsny · 26/08/2023 17:24

So many nasty replies on this thread. It is frankly bizarre behaviour for Op's parents to lie about selling their house. Of course you are justified being upset about being lied to OP. Any normal person would be.

Thank you xx

OP posts:
toadasoda · 26/08/2023 17:26

This thread is exactly why I don't read AIBU much anymore. Always attack and criticise.

Ffs I don't know anyone in real life who wouldn't be upset about their family home being sold. It's a big deal and very normal to be sentimental about. If OP was moaning or making them guilty and throwing a little tantrum about the sale I'd say yes they are being unreasonable, of course it's their house to sell. But they didn't tell her and that's really bad form and hurtful.

I think you are reasonable to be upset on both counts OP, the fact the house is sold and the fact they lied to you.

ActDottie · 26/08/2023 17:26

“My childhood home”… well it was really THEIR home to sell. Most people sell after children leave it’s kinda expected. It is odd they lied to you about it though…

itsgettingweird · 26/08/2023 17:28

"My" childhood home.

It's their home. One they bought and earned the money to pay for.

One they've decided to sell because it benefits them.

I've no idea why they lied but your reaction to finding out it's been sold could be a clue?

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