Why would an adult male be alone in the teaching pool?

[redrighthand83]

At my local leisure centre, there is the large main pool and then a shallow teaching pool which is around 100cm deep at the deepest section.

The teaching pool during the day is essentially the toddler pool. I have seen adults in the teaching pool earlier in the morning when it's quiet- and good on them, to build their confidence etc.

But the last few weekends at the busy sessions there's a man alone in his late 60s who just sits there in the corner watching everyone. I just can't imagine why he would choose to sit in a pool full of screaming and splashing children other than the more sinister reasons. I have tried to find the logic -e.g. he is entitled to use it but why would someone of retirement age only be able to use a pool on a Saturday lunch? Could he just be lonely and oblivious to the weird vibes it gives off?

Am I being unreasonable to ask the centre to perhaps look to separate lone adults using the teaching pool from the busier sessions with children?

Voting:

YABU: The world doesnt revolve around children
YANBU: This could be a safeguarding issue

He is clearly not of full time working age.

In what way is he clearly not of full time working age?

I have to agree with @WhenIWasAFieldMyself. Why is the man's age relevant?

Honestly? Any age male alone in a pool makes me look twice, yes. Maybe thats because the vast majority of sexual abusers are male.

Maybe he is deaf. If the noise doesn't bother him what do you care? Seems you are determined to tar and feather this man just because of his demographic

True.

But why is his age relevant?

It's not a pool specifically for children.

And apparently it'd be fine for him to be there if he had some children with him. This wouldn't make any difference to him watching others if he wanted to watch others?

The OP has explained why she mentioned his age.

"I mention his age as a factor that I imagine he isnt restricted in what times he could use the pool."

Yeah, right.🤔

There was a man like this at our pool OP. It made me uncomfortable too but one day I ended up chatting to him and after an incident in his youth he was too scared to swim. Alongside the adult swimming lessons he would go on his own once a week to get used to the water. His aim was to take his DGD to the pool one day. I moved away before he achieved his goal so no idea if he managed it or not.

YANBU to be a little unsettled by a lone man in such an environment, unfortunately the shitty behaviour of some men has ruined women's trust in the rest.

The vast majority abuse those they know.

Unless he's said or done something, he's entitled to be alone and out in public, even in a pool.

Ok, this will be the last time I mention his age,

To me, this man looked clearly old enough that most people of that age bracket, they probably are not working, especially full full time, and therefore not restricted to what times they can use the pool e.g early morning/later evening/weekdays.

Perhaps he is still working, yes. Would feel bloody sorry for him if he was.

It’s difficult isn’t it. I’m a retired woman and if I sat in the pool to ease my arthritis I would watch the toddlers. Not because I am a perve but because I love seeing the children splashing around and playing.
Is it better because I am a woman, or should I not do it?

Think this is more indicative of you as a person, rather than an older gentleman sitting in a smaller pool minding his own business. If his behaviour was off or inappropriate then fine but he is just sitting maybe he has been in pain all night & not slept well, but no your first thought is that he is a predator of young children. YABU the only thing that is heartening is one day you will be old. Let’s see how you fair then.

If he no is retired and/or he's not restricted by time, then he can go whenever he likes. Including those times which are convenient to you so coincide. To tell him he can go 'off peak' as it were would be to restrict him.

YANBU OP, the deliberate denial and enabling on this thread is how so many high profile paedophiles have been able to get away with what they have done. I think some posters on this thread should have a long hard look at themselves and why they're falling over themselves to protect an adult man when a woman raises a potential safeguarding issue.

It's funny because whenever any woman (especially one who has committed the crime of having kids) posts that they've been referred to social services the posters always jump to say how "it's just safeguarding" "they have to follow a procedure" "you'd hate if they didn't investigate" "the innocent have nothing to hide" but when it's a concern regarding a man instead of being told to report it you're being told that you should sit down and shut up and stop being a hysterical woman.

Amazing microcosm of everyday sexism and the enabling of child abuse by power holders.

And the vast majority of males don't get sexual kicks looking at toddlers getting swimming lessons.

The poor guy is most likely there for completely innocent reasons and you are picking him apart for existing.

Is he definitely not moving?
6 weeks after a knee replacement DH was encouraged to flex his knee and do squats in a warm pool. This bloke sounds like prime orthopaedic surgery age. DH could get much better flexion more safely than out of the water. I don’t thinks it would have looked like he was doing anything unless you looked consistently and closely.

It may be that he doesn't want to get in the way of the serious swimmers in the main pool.

I've seen quite a few older people of both sexes just kind of hanging out in the kiddy pool. No idea why, when as you say it's like sitting in a tepid paddling pool. I figure they tell themselves they've "been for a swim" 😄

And men have categorically proved over the centuries that they can be trusted to the point of not needing to be restricted to protect other people, no, the other groups who men target to disempower and victimise should restrict themselves (sorry, take precautions) and their lives because the world needs to revolve around men and enable their behaviour.

Any age male alone in a pool makes me look twice, yes. Maybe thats because the vast majority of sexual abusers are male. That’s not the same as the vast majority of males are sexual abusers.

Exactly what I was thinking. I love our local children’s pool because it is so warm . It really helps my back and joints.
This guy might also enjoy seeing and hearing children having fun . He probably lives alone and is lonely.

I'd ask him
'Which ones yours' with a big smile and see what he has to say for himself.
2 people and by people obviously I mean men have been caught photographing children changing at our local leisure centre in the last 3 years so yes, I'd be suspicious

I suspect the OP would find any movement proof of what she imagines.

I would also like to point out at no point have I said I have any intention of making an accusation against this man.

My point is perhaps for everyone's sake, there should be sessions specifically for children to use the pool, and for adults (the deaf, arthritic full time working people older folks apparently). That way everyone is more comfortable.

I mean he might be there for dodgy reasons or he might be there for above board reasons (eg sore hips/warm pool/ enjoys being in the water but not able to swim etc).

I don’t see any harm in mentioning it to the life guards/centre, then they can keep a casual eye and act IF there is anything concerning.