To not want to be friends after holiday behaviour

[Jev82]

I went on a big group holiday with some friends to the coast. I found one of my friends very rude. I drove us and had made plans to collect them all from a different city which took me 2 hours extra for their convenience. I was happy to do this but didn't want to drive in the dark at the end of the trip so asked everyone to be punctual. This friend was very dominant and changed all the pre-arranged plans so they arrived 3 hours late because she thought getting up early was unreasonable. I had to wait for them all this time in a car park.

She was rude to other friends of mine who weren't hers, sulked and shouted and I just don't want to be friends anymore because she was a nightmare. She wanted me to cut my holiday short for a day to drive her home because she had to work even though I was still on holiday. I felt she treated me like her assistant and an assistant to a horrible boss at that.

Other friends want me to forget it because it's making their lives more difficult as I am refusing to hang out with her. I don't care if they spend time together, I just don't want to be friends with someone like that so won't join them. AIBU?

No

Nope

Hell no

Do the other friends not worry about her behaviour?

Who has voted YABU?

Madness. How to people like this actually get through life?!

She sounds horrendous. I would have been done with her at the waiting for 3 hours in a car park stage (actually I would have been done about 30 mins into this).

Nah.

Definitely not! Ffs, what a way to behave towards someone.

And your other friends are being arseholes too!!

Fuck her. As someone who ditched a shit friend group years ago and hasn't regretted it one second since, get rid.

Please tell me you didn't sit for 3 hours in a car park waiting for your friends to give them a lift

I would have left after 30mins - and that's being generous

they arrived 3 hours late because she thought getting up early was unreasonable

They'd have been left if I was driving! Your friend is rude. Get a new group of friends and don’t look back. There is no way I’d be pandering and driving 2 hours to collect friends in the first place for one of them to be three hours late! Tell them to get a pair of balls and stand up to this person or walk away.

Amen to this. Shit friends is an oxymoron.

You’re too nice!!! At what point did she let you know she would be 3h late??? This should be in a top CF thread!
ditch her, why do the others still want to be her friend????

You should have spoken up at the time. Say "this is the arrangement that suits me if you want a lift otherwise I'll meet you there "

Why did you wait for her for that long?

If you are getting a lift from someone it's on their terms not yours.

If she CBA to get up then she can make her own travel arrangements.

Ditch her and ditch the "friends" who think her behaviour is "forgettable".

Life is too short to spend it pandering to fuckwits or their enablers.

Three hours?? Nope, she’s appallingly rude.

Bin her off asap.

She's not your friend and neither are the people who are taking her side.

Sorry OP, get better friends.

I would drop rude friend gently without making a big fuss & see how other friends behave.
I binned a friend because of rude behaviour some time ago & have not regretted it once. In fact it was a relief.

You have permission to drop her like a hot potato. Now you know what the future may hold, there’s no need to put yourself through anything remotely similar with her ever again.

I would have left her arse behind. I hope you did not cut your holiday short to drive her home, although I’m guessing you may have done.

Learn to say ‘No, that does not work for me’ on repeat if need be and continue to work on reinforcing your boundaries.

I had a friend like that. She had good traits too, but I kept her as a friend for far too long. She was rude to a guy and argued like a child with another in my workshop, she only did what she wanted to and was rigid about it.

I cut her out of my life about 4 years ago. Never looked back since tbh. I do not now see many people we both know mainly because she used to arrange get togethers and has since moved out of the area, but I'm cool with that. Life is so much less stressful.

This

Fuck no I'd have ditched her and left her their

You waited for 3 hours? You must have had some contact in that time? I’d have assumed someone had changed their mind and left. What did you do?

I don’t blame you for making a stand now. Good for you OP

For my clarity @Jev82 and sorry if I am being a pain - ignore me if I am - when she wanted to end your holiday a day early, were all your other "friends" that had also shared the lift getting to the destination, happy/willing to finish their holidays a day early too?

Your CF ex friend does not deserve any friends if she treats them all like she treats you. What hold does she have on them? My 2 guesses are that she is either their boss, or (rather sadly if this is the case) she has a lot of money and doesn't mind spending it, eg she buys their friendship?

I hope that I am wrong on both counts, and that the other friends can see through her at last, which would mean that you could at least stay friends with them.

By the way OP, you sound like a lovely young woman, and I hope that being treated in such a nasty way doesn't take any of your loveliness away, but I also hope you have learned to sniff out selfish CFs much more quickly!