To think neighbour is an absolute c**t!

[CanNeverThinkOfAName]

Massive row with new neighbours last night which had other neighbours coming outside due the shouting. Totally mortifying and want opinions on whether neighbour is the c**t we think he is!

Moved into property a few months ago with a drive with space for 3 cars back to back at the side round the corner. We enter house through back door as that's where drive is. We have a works van and other cars that park opposite our drive and it can be pain to get out but only takes a few more seconds to manoeuvre. Not a big issue. and not something I'd complain about as it's not parked illegally.

Front door is near the bottom of a dead end road - pavement and road in front two car widths wide. Directly opposite front of house, both houses have drives big enough to fit two cars side by side. Have one car each so plenty of room on drive.

Lots of cars parked at top of road as many do not have drives so it's basically a one car width road due to parked cars. At the top of the road there are about 6 properties with one car drives with cars constantly parked opposite.

No one parks in front of our house and I wouldn't have an issue if they did.

We had 3 cars (including DDs's). DD occasionally parked in road at front of house if she come in late as DH leaves for work early so he'd have to move her car out first. Perfectly legal to park there and neighbours opposite have room (one road width) to get out of their drives.

Anyway DD has now moved in with boyfriend and hasn't been at home for a few weeks so has not parked at front for that period. Last night she popped round to pick up a few bits. Parked in front of house so she could come in front door and carry stuff out.

She'd been in house for literally 2 minutes and neighbour opposite front knocked and said she needed to move her car now. It was 10pm. We've never spoken a word to them before as we rarely use the front door.

DH basically said what's the problem, your drive is not blocked, she'll be going shortly, you're not even going out now are you? Neighbour said DH was being a prick and we had a 3 car drive so shouldn't be parking on the road ever. He's going to call the police.

DH did get rather angry at being called a prick and told neighbour to get off property and car would not be moved, he can call police etc. Neighbour then starts shouting that he's had enough, he's put up with it for ages (we've lived there 2 months!), who do we think we are etc. His wife comes out shouting, other opposite neighbours come out shouting that we're blocking emergency vehicles and rude etc, etc. We are certainly not blocking emergency vehicles, cars are parked all down the road and bin trucks get through fine!

DD is mortified and insists she'll move the car (bit annoyed at that) despite DH telling her not to. Neighbour says to her 'at least you're a decent one' which enrages both DH and I even more. DD is furious her Dad has been called a prick and shouts at neighbour that he's not decent either for swearing at her Dad.

Neighbour refuses to get out of front garden and keeps saying how horrible we are. Other neighbours have opened doors to listen by then so whole street will have heard. Had to slam door on him in the end.

He had his leg in a cast and was going on that he's had to come over to our house while in pain and didn't want to stand there any longer but he wouldn't leave as he wanted to continue the argument🤔

Neighbour now thinks he can tell us where to park and is the dogs bollocks probably thinking that told them!

Who was BU?

I've asked DD's boyfriend to park his battered transit van in front our house for the weekend - unreasonable?

I think you are being unreasonable personally. If you have room on your drive, use it. It would piss me off for sure.

I constantly look at roads like the one OP has described and wonder how the feck a fire engine will get down. It’s not just about fitting the vehicle, it’s about having room to do all the stuff to get the fire out etc.
Madness.

Actually she parked about 20ft from the corner. Probably not clear from the diagram as I didn't include measurements, but not right on it. At least 30ft clear road on the other side of where she parked.

I understand that things got out of hand and the neighbour didn't know that your daughter was only there briefly, so he definitely over-reacted at that time of night - but you do understand that the legal distance between any car and the corner of a junction is 32 feet and not 20 feet? So Actually, her car was not legally parked......

Yabvvu

I hate cars parked on the street. It's what has ruined communities, kids playing out. If you have a drive, then use it.

As the new neighbours I'd have been tempted to keep my head down, apologise that you didn't realise it would bother anyone. Then get the gossip on them before you engage in future.

Revenge is a dish best served cold and in secret....

My neighbours are Assholes!
they got a drive for 2 cars and refuse to park on it, instead they park on the road and they put traffic cones outside their drive on the opposite side of the road to stop people parking outside their house and everyone parks outside other houses!
The cones keep disappearing and they then get some more which disappears too 🤣🤣

Sometimes it's not easy getting on with neighbours but fast forward 15 or 20 years these are people you turn to in times of crisis. My mum's neighbours went above and beyond when dad was dying. Try and smooth the waters. Life is really too short to have a significant fall out like this.

Just make sure the wheeless car is taxed still , no issue then being legally parked lol

Magical. Your neighbour is barking.

Our street is 2 car widths wide if no-one has parked on it. If cars are parked on one side cars have to give way to vehicles going up or down, but an emergency vehicle still fits.
It's a playing field on one side so no houses to park in front of. Sometimes though someone does park opposite my drive & it makes it really really difficult to get my car on or off my drive as my driveway is narrow.
So it's possible the neighbour can get off, just that it makes it harder for him.

Sounds like an awful place to live tbh who opens a door to hear an argument? Who argues in public?

can you move?

Yes, unreasonable. They're you're neighbours - why deliberately bait them for one-upmanship? You have to live with them.

To be honest, you all sound like idiots who prefer a row to a rational conversation and if I lived in your street I'd put my house up for sale.

Having been involved in "drive wars" several times, my advice would be to

1. provide us with a diagram, particularly one from your deeds.
2. Have a good look at the boundaries of your property on your deeds, which land belongs to you.
3. if it's a new build/cul de sac there will be turning points, these are usually tarmacked and should not be used for parking but often are and are very often claimed by people as being part of their drive.
4. contact your neighbours/local neighborhood conciliation team to apologise (I know) to the neighbours and to demonstrate that you want to understand their grievances and to resolve the parking problems. Nearly always, I have found that the people who have lived there the longest claim any bit of parking they can get, legal or not. I won't go into my previous problems and I hoped I'd solved them by moving to a property with a long drive. Alas, my selfish neighbours park opposite my drive, on yellow lines and all along the only turning point.

Inspected drawing, cant see issue esp as it was a short stay. Id probably be tempted with the rusty van but maybe finding out why neighbour felt it was a long ongoing issue would help. Since youre gonna have to put up with him for a while. Some people are just chewy as, i had a neighbour who thought he could dictate who parked out his front. Just painful but I moved to get away from him as his f'ing and blinding on the front was cringey. Good luck. Maybe do the van for a fortnight and then tell him it will come back if he doesnt wind his neck in.

I'm always amazed on these threads that so few people consider the way issues are approached as well as the issue itself. I'm going to assume OP is reporting the dynamics accurately. If her neighbour had come over and calmly explained what the problem was and asked nicely is there any chance of you moving etc and then listened when OP said DD is just picking up some stuff and will be gone in a few mins etc there'd likely be no problem. If the neighbour immediately jumps in with a demand and then says 'You're a prick' OP has every right to be upset at being spoken to in that way.

I seem to be in the minority, in that I read your post completely, understood it fully (even without a diagram), and totally agree with you. No, YANBU! People telling you that you should "park on your drive", obviously didn't read it thoroughly. I'd be equally furious with the d*kh*d neighbour, had he approached me in a similar manner! He was totally OTT in his approach, and all the holier-than-thou, "I would have kept calm, you shouldn't have reacted like that, you should apologise" comments would be funny if they weren't so irritating! Everyone can be nice and calm in retrospect, and when reading about someone else's problem. It's often not the case when in the midst of it oneself! He over reacted, he was rude and belligerent. Yes, you could have been calmer.....if you were a Saint! But normal people usually react to rude and aggressive behaviour in a like manner. I wouldn't apologise. I wouldn't escalate it with the van either, but I wouldn't apologise. You usually use your drive, you rarely use your front door, or park out the front. If a visitor decides to park there for the brief time that they're visiting, and it's not blocking the road, someone else's drive, or impeding access by emergency vehicles, then there's no problem.

OP, I’m with you on this one. Your neighbour is a twat with too much time on their hand.

Beautiful, thank you.

YANBU

You sound like a nightmare.

AcclimDD · 24/08/2023 23:25
I think if a second lot of neighbours came out OP to remonstrate about the
same issue, then you should reflect properly on your family's parking.

Agree with this tbh, i think it sounds like other neighbours are fed up with your parking issues.
No i would not park an old van outside to annoy the neighbours, i would go round and ask nicely why there is a problem and what you can do to rectify it.

I disagree. The subsequent complaining neighbours are in a similar position to the first. They all want to stop parking opposite their drives which they are not entitled to do.
It is just like the people who object to others parking on the road outside theur houses. They are told they don't own the road outside their house. Well none of these neighbours own the road opposite their driveways.

Just remember when it is time for you to move you will have to legally declare any neighbourly issues which could adversely affect any potential house sales.

Is the non urgent police number 111 ?? I’d give them a call and report the incident.
mid as you say the car wasn’t obstructing anything and your DD hadn’t parked inconsiderately then I’d continue to park there when convenient to you and continue to encourage guests to too… I wouldn’t however deliberately park there just to annoy them..
min future if a neighbour strops over I’d talk to them through the ring doorbell and wouldn’t even justify their behaviour by opening the door!
The conversation should be to calmly keep repeating the same phrase “Oh thank you for pointing out that it annoys you, but my guest is parked safely and legally”…. Just keep repeating the same thing over and over till they get bored! Even if they say it’s blocking emergency vehicles just repeat “The car is parked legally and safely but thank you for coming to us with your concerns!” If he flings insults at your doorbell just cheerily respond with a “Have a lovely day/evening/night and then engage no further!

Neighbours are batshit and entitled. I'd make a point of parking there frequently. Who the hell does he think he is?

Looking at the diagram, it seems that most people park on one side of the road, except your daughter.
It's an unwritten rule on my Street and when people park on the other side it causes problems to all traffic and neighbours get upset. Sometimes it's easier to just do what everyone else does, rightly or wrongly.
Not sure why it was an issue at 10pm though. And The neighbours certainly didn't go about it the right way.
Parking a rusty van there makes youmas bad as them.
Living in peace is so much better for your mental health. I hope you resolve it soon or as the newcomers you may become the pariahs on the street.