Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend is treating me like her maid

928 replies

Grabhands · 24/08/2023 19:35

For context, this is a friend who I have known for years, haven't seen since before COVID. We booked and are on a 7 day all in beach holiday in the Med.

Meals are buffet service, tea service and cakes etc at certain times from a pool bar and a bar where you can go and get alcoholic drinks etc. At meal times waiters will bring you water for the table and you go to bar for anything else. Bar a few mins walk.

At every single meal we have had since arriving, she tries to send me to the bar to get her a drink, if I am going anyway absolutely fine, otherwise get your own!

She also keeps taking food from my plate to try it, with fingers , and then says can you go and get me some of that.

When I get desert, she gives me a list and asks me to bring back plates of various things.

Tea, she doesn't want to go to bar to get cakes, in case she misses some sun so again even though I don't want anything asks me to go.

I know its petty, and I'm usually easy going but after 3 days I have just said you go, you have legs too, and please stop taking food from my plate.

She is now very offended and huffing and puffing!

Am I being a cow?

OP posts:
Chickenkeev · 01/09/2023 13:58

AliceOlive · 01/09/2023 13:51

But she did say no. Multiple times. So it’s confusing to have people say “she should have said no”.

Show quote history

From the start i meant. I also said i understood how she got a bit stuck with it. She obvs didn't know CF was a CF. And with these things, you don't know it til you're in it. But i stand by the conflict point. You don't agree with me and that's your prerogative.

AliceOlive · 01/09/2023 14:02

Why would she say no immediately? Would you never get a drink for your friend if you were going to the bar?

sunglassesonthetable · 01/09/2023 14:04

Why would she say no immediately? Would you never get a drink for your friend if you were going to the bar?

So true. Of course you go to the bar and get things for a friend.

It's going to take a while to realise that it's a one way street.

Merapi · 01/09/2023 14:06

The world would be a better place if there was more conflict avoidance if you ask me.

Chickenkeev · 01/09/2023 14:09

Grand so. I'm wrong apparently. But it's a public forum, i'm allowed an opinion, as are you. As you were.

RampantIvy · 01/09/2023 15:20

See all doesn't work on the android app

Which is why I don't use the app, but use my browser on my phone.

LylaLee · 01/09/2023 15:22

RampantIvy · 01/09/2023 15:20

See all doesn't work on the android app

Which is why I don't use the app, but use my browser on my phone.

It just keeps taking me to the app when I try to use the browser. I just gave in in the end.

Chickenkeev · 01/09/2023 15:24

LylaLee · 01/09/2023 15:22

It just keeps taking me to the app when I try to use the browser. I just gave in in the end.

Show quote history

Delete the app so? It sounds a bit painful compared to the browser. Browser is pretty good imo.

MavisMcMinty · 01/09/2023 16:07

Has an app ever improved a website’s function or appearance? The app absolutely ruined Twitter for me. I just don’t download them any more.

wheelywheelynice · 01/09/2023 16:15

afrikat · 01/09/2023 13:23

See all doesn't work on the android app

Show quote history

Yes it does

PlacidPenelope · 01/09/2023 19:07

Chickenkeev · 01/09/2023 14:09

Grand so. I'm wrong apparently. But it's a public forum, i'm allowed an opinion, as are you. As you were.

On the facts as detailed by the OP you are, indeed, wrong. You and others criticising the OP still have not said what you suggest she should have done instead of saying "No" and having a discussion with her 'friend', so what, in your opinion, should she have done differently? What conflict are you advocating here? A full on Eastenders style slanging match in the middle of the restaurant?

Chickenkeev · 01/09/2023 22:24

PlacidPenelope · 01/09/2023 19:07

On the facts as detailed by the OP you are, indeed, wrong. You and others criticising the OP still have not said what you suggest she should have done instead of saying "No" and having a discussion with her 'friend', so what, in your opinion, should she have done differently? What conflict are you advocating here? A full on Eastenders style slanging match in the middle of the restaurant?

Show quote history

I said I'm wrong. What exactly do you want?

PlacidPenelope · 01/09/2023 22:31

I am interested in what you think she should have done @Chickenkeev you keep saying she avoided conflict, didn't say No (she did) and then 'ran away' from the situation (she didn't). You have given no alternatives and yet told her to do something about her 'conflict avoidance', like what?

Chickenkeev · 01/09/2023 23:02

PlacidPenelope · 01/09/2023 22:31

I am interested in what you think she should have done @Chickenkeev you keep saying she avoided conflict, didn't say No (she did) and then 'ran away' from the situation (she didn't). You have given no alternatives and yet told her to do something about her 'conflict avoidance', like what?

None of your business really. Sorry for that.

PlacidPenelope · 01/09/2023 23:06

Cop-out.

pictoosh · 02/09/2023 00:07

None of your business. Ha ha. Ach well.

I also think the OP handled it as well as she could have. She was assertive and spoke up.
I love that she voted with her feet rather than put herself through any more of it.

TakeOnMe251 · 02/09/2023 00:40

Chickenkeev · 01/09/2023 23:02

None of your business really. Sorry for that.

Show quote history

So everything she did is wrong, according to you - but it is "none of your business" when asked what she SHOULD have done??

What a weird reply.

Chickenkeev · 02/09/2023 00:55

TakeOnMe251 · 02/09/2023 00:40

So everything she did is wrong, according to you - but it is "none of your business" when asked what she SHOULD have done??

What a weird reply.

Show quote history

Well no. I gave an opinion, as is the point of these forums. I don't owe anyone anything other than that. Simple as that. It's not weird in the slightest tbh.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 02/09/2023 01:39

Chickenkeev · 02/09/2023 00:55

Well no. I gave an opinion, as is the point of these forums. I don't owe anyone anything other than that. Simple as that. It's not weird in the slightest tbh.

Show quote history

It’s utterly bizarre to tell someone they didn’t do something the right way then decline to say what the right way was.

Be an incredibly boring forum if everyone followed your way and simply said “you’re wrong” or “you’re right”.

very weird indeed.

Chickenkeev · 02/09/2023 01:48

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 02/09/2023 01:39

It’s utterly bizarre to tell someone they didn’t do something the right way then decline to say what the right way was.

Be an incredibly boring forum if everyone followed your way and simply said “you’re wrong” or “you’re right”.

very weird indeed.

Show quote history

It's really not 'utterly bizarre' in the slightest. It's entirely normal. You might not like it, fair enough, but it's not weird and there really is nothing wrong with it.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 02/09/2023 01:57

Chickenkeev · 02/09/2023 01:48

It's really not 'utterly bizarre' in the slightest. It's entirely normal. You might not like it, fair enough, but it's not weird and there really is nothing wrong with it.

Show quote history

I don’t ‘not like it’ - I find it utterly bizarre.

And definitely nothing wrong with it if you want to post in a way that would kill all conversation if everyone followed…

LylaLee · 02/09/2023 05:13

wheelywheelynice · 01/09/2023 16:15

Yes it does

Show quote history

Maybe it depends on the phone. On mine I don't have AIBU voting or 'see all'. The OP's name has a different colour though.

LylaLee · 02/09/2023 05:14

Chickenkeev · 01/09/2023 15:24

Delete the app so? It sounds a bit painful compared to the browser. Browser is pretty good imo.

Show quote history

I mean when I don't have the app, every time I click into a new thread it does a pop up, all 'have you tried the app!'. The only way to make it go away is to get the app.

RampantIvy · 02/09/2023 08:09

LylaLee · 02/09/2023 05:14

I mean when I don't have the app, every time I click into a new thread it does a pop up, all 'have you tried the app!'. The only way to make it go away is to get the app.

Show quote history

I never get that pop up on my phone (Samsung Galaxy S10). I have never installed the app and always use the browser, which is set to mobile usage.

Zonder · 02/09/2023 08:14

Chickenkeev · 02/09/2023 01:48

It's really not 'utterly bizarre' in the slightest. It's entirely normal. You might not like it, fair enough, but it's not weird and there really is nothing wrong with it.

Show quote history

No, it is pretty bizarre. Like little kids saying I have a secret and I'm not telling you, when they really don't.