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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think my friend is treating me like her maid

928 replies

Grabhands · 24/08/2023 19:35

For context, this is a friend who I have known for years, haven't seen since before COVID. We booked and are on a 7 day all in beach holiday in the Med.

Meals are buffet service, tea service and cakes etc at certain times from a pool bar and a bar where you can go and get alcoholic drinks etc. At meal times waiters will bring you water for the table and you go to bar for anything else. Bar a few mins walk.

At every single meal we have had since arriving, she tries to send me to the bar to get her a drink, if I am going anyway absolutely fine, otherwise get your own!

She also keeps taking food from my plate to try it, with fingers , and then says can you go and get me some of that.

When I get desert, she gives me a list and asks me to bring back plates of various things.

Tea, she doesn't want to go to bar to get cakes, in case she misses some sun so again even though I don't want anything asks me to go.

I know its petty, and I'm usually easy going but after 3 days I have just said you go, you have legs too, and please stop taking food from my plate.

She is now very offended and huffing and puffing!

Am I being a cow?

OP posts:
Riverlee · 29/08/2023 04:21

Op can still be nice to friend.

xPaloma · 29/08/2023 04:27

Yeh, you did the right thing op. Later, when she has her own space to retreat to, you can say something.

SquirrelSoShiny · 29/08/2023 07:51

@captainmarvella I'm only tagging you to say: I hear you! This thread was like the Twilight Zone at points. It blew my mind!

captainmarvella · 29/08/2023 08:16

SquirrelSoShiny · 29/08/2023 07:51

@captainmarvella I'm only tagging you to say: I hear you! This thread was like the Twilight Zone at points. It blew my mind!

Right?

Friend is clingy, annoying and refuses to see certain boundaries
Everyone - so childish, batsh!t, immature

OP makes a MN thread about annoying friend, actually moves hotels to get away from friend without setting firm boundaries, then meets said Friend in airport, feels responsible for her (??), and again checks into the same hotel with her!
Everyone - Great, the right decision, you rock

🙃

Ohthatsabitshit · 29/08/2023 10:55

Honestly if I was stuck somewhere away from home I’d prefer to be with a friend/acquaintance than on my own so I’d have teamed up again. Hope you get home soon @Grabhands

LookItsMeAgain · 29/08/2023 13:44

I'm hoping you're on your way home by now. My earlier suggestion about flying to Ireland probably wouldn't have worked as flights over the UK were also impacted. Basically any flight in to or out of the UK and those that fly over the UK were impacted.
Anyway, I hope you have managed to get home.

GillianCarole · 29/08/2023 20:38

I'm amazed at her arrogance and sense of entitlement. Has she always been like this, or has she changed since you last saw her? It's absolutely unacceptable for her to behave in this manner, even if you are easy-going, and you are 100% justified in telling her off. As for 'huffing' - is she annoyed because you won't do as you're told, or embarrassed at her own bad behaviour? Honestly I think that this is one friendship I would put to bed.

Fraaahnces · 30/08/2023 01:47

i can’t believe you shared your hotel room with her when you were off-loaded. Please tell me that you slept in the bed….
Also that she shared the costs. She is an utter energy vampire.

LardoBurrows · 30/08/2023 14:27

Do hope Op has managed to get a home by now and can put this holiday experience well and truly behind her.

3luckystars · 30/08/2023 14:40

Yes and her friend will be none the wiser as to why she left for another hotel.

It is worth saying to her (when able) that she treated you badly on the holiday. I’m not confrontational also but would force myself to say it so that she would know her behaviour was a problem for you.

Merapi · 30/08/2023 16:17

I have to say I think the OP handled the whole thing with great politeness, tact and diplomacy, and because she remained calm, she was also able to enjoy at least some of her holiday in peace.

CherryMaDeara · 30/08/2023 16:23

captainmarvella · 29/08/2023 08:16

Right?

Friend is clingy, annoying and refuses to see certain boundaries
Everyone - so childish, batsh!t, immature

OP makes a MN thread about annoying friend, actually moves hotels to get away from friend without setting firm boundaries, then meets said Friend in airport, feels responsible for her (??), and again checks into the same hotel with her!
Everyone - Great, the right decision, you rock

🙃

Show quote history

Maybe OP also wanted the comfort of a known face.

Also, they can share the cost of the hotel room.

The friend now knows OP won't be her house elf.

Win win.

CherryMaDeara · 30/08/2023 16:25

3luckystars · 30/08/2023 14:40

Yes and her friend will be none the wiser as to why she left for another hotel.

It is worth saying to her (when able) that she treated you badly on the holiday. I’m not confrontational also but would force myself to say it so that she would know her behaviour was a problem for you.

Of course the friend knows why OP left.

JanieEyre · 30/08/2023 16:35

I can't see that it's a big deal that OP went back to the same hotel as ex friend when the flight crisis hit. She could hardly prevent ex friend from booking in at the same hotel, and it would be utterly pointless having a shouting match over being in her vicinity for an extra night. It's not as if OP is going to have anything else to do with ex friend.

LylaLee · 30/08/2023 16:46

JanieEyre · 30/08/2023 16:35

I can't see that it's a big deal that OP went back to the same hotel as ex friend when the flight crisis hit. She could hardly prevent ex friend from booking in at the same hotel, and it would be utterly pointless having a shouting match over being in her vicinity for an extra night. It's not as if OP is going to have anything else to do with ex friend.

It sounds like they are sharing a room again.

HowToSaveAWife · 31/08/2023 08:41

OP? blink twice if friend has you run down to the knees fetching her food and drinks!!

TakeOnMe251 · 31/08/2023 09:14

"Blink"?? She has no energy! She is only allowed out at meal times to get food/ cocktails/ anything CF so desires and the rest of the time is cleaning and peeling grapes for Madam.

We will not hear from her again until she has her well deserved 5 min break a week on Tuesday

captainmarvella · 31/08/2023 09:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

InMySpareTime · 31/08/2023 10:15

I assume the beach with all the hotels is not near the airport (hence the transfer bus) and the hotel they're in now is an airport hotel.

vickylou78 · 31/08/2023 14:00

How are things Op?

44PumpLane · 31/08/2023 17:47

@Grabhands what happened in the end?

Original poster
Grabhands · 31/08/2023 19:38

Hello,

Got home last night and went into the office today and forgot to update.

We stayed in an airport hotel, a couple of km away, couldn't get nearer, bed and breakfast only basis.

Friend was polite, quite formal, didn't mention the last few days of holiday at all.

I worked in the day, she stayed by pool and went to the gym, I got my own food from a shop nearby for dinner and lunch, evenings on phone and or netflix in lounge!

Monday night when I popped to shop she started to say Could you.....but I pretended I couldn't hear and just left. She didn't ask again. Had breakfast separately as I wanted to work so started early.

Wasn't too bad.

Said goodbye when we got home and haven't heard since, I will however let me know why I left original hotel although I am sure she realised why.

OP posts:
LylaLee · 31/08/2023 19:59

Who paid for the hotel?

Original poster
Grabhands · 31/08/2023 20:00

Hi, we went halves after I booked it

OP posts:
Zonder · 31/08/2023 20:15

I don't know how she can not say anything!

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